Qanzas asked me awhile back how the “Everything Buddhism” book is and I completely forgot to answer him. It’s great. I am just now starting the section on karma. I read it aloud to my family and they were laughing their asses off.

“Sometimes you intentionally set out to cause harm with no malice in your heart whatsoever. You might decide to whack your dog over the head with a big stick because he won’t sit when you tell him to. You may even believe you are doing the dog some good, as he will have better manners and be better behaved. However, you are intentionally harming another creature, and this cannot be construed as a positive action.” (pp. 80-81.)

Steve’s interpretation: “As I rained down blows on and around the dog’s head I thought to myself, ‘Goddamn, there has got to be a better way.'” (Kids at that point fell off their barstools.) (No, they hadn’t had anything to drink, don’t worry.)

“It is mental volition, O monks, that I call karma. Having willed, one acts through body, speech or mind.” — The Buddha (p. 81.)

And now, a word about the Cursing Mommy, aka that assclown Ian Frazier. I hate that bitch. The End. Did you happen to read “A Cursing Mommy Serenity Prayer”? Well, you know what Mr. Frazier? Plagiarism is wrong. That’s all I have to say. Now stop reading my blog and find your own goddamn material somewhere else. Or split down your paychecks with me. Either way is fine, but buddy, you need to not continue down the road to ruin. Thief. Dirty hippie.

Now on to more important matters: “Waiting for Normal,” by Leslie Connor. My kid and I love this book and you should read it. Even if you’re a grown-up who doesn’t have kids, or a gothy teenager who only reads those books involving blood, piercings and wrecked cars, you should still read it. Especially if you’re that teenager you should read it.

“The Man Who Loved Books Too Much” is about a dirty thief who steals books using other people’s credit cards and by writing bad checks. As near as I can tell, he does not actually read any books. This makes him something like two of my ex’s who liked the way the books looked “fancy” on the shelf but never actually “opened one up.” People like that need to just stop their thievin’ and fakin’, sit down and read a damn library book. That they’ve checked out on their own card. After they’ve paid their cussing fines. Then they need to return the book, on time, once they’re done.

The End.

Love,

Wacky Mommy