Dateline: Eugene, Oregon:

The guys won. The girls won. Two 5A state basketball championship titles for Jefferson High School, out of North Portland. Congrats, players. You rule.

Also must give a shout-out to the Grant Generals, who won their title as well, in 6A. My dad would be so happy, Paul H. is happy, and I’m happy as hell, too, for all of the kids from my neighborhood and the next neighborhood over.

Jefferson Boys’ Basketball: It’s fantastic. Gooooooooooooooooooo, Demos!

Big ol’ congrats to the Jefferson High School Lady Demos, who beat Hermiston this evening in an exciting come-from-behind victory to become the 5A OSAA State of Oregon Basketball Champions.

Excellent job, women. Way to go, Demos, way to go… Are you looking for photos? (Thanks, Steve.)

The guys are next.

So many things I would like to blog about — such as…

* the PTA mom who said, “Good, do!” in our meeting today when I said, “one-more-thing-and-I’ll-shut-up-I-promise.” Nice! Way to open up the lines of communication. No wonder no one wants to work with you, honey. Damn. Speaking of work — THE PAID KIND…

* Work: Why It Just Might Be the Answer I’ve Been Looking For (lunches out with other adults! No one criticizing my food! People complimenting my shoes! The list goes on and on…) (more…)

Please! Thank you!

At Wacky House, we need more bandwidth specifically to accommodate my YouTube and ABC downloads obsession. My readers! I love you! And I am expending much bandwidth to fulfill your needs.

Are you wondering how Hockey God’s game went tonight? SO FRICKIN’ GREAT. They won 3-2. (Hockey Fact #1: You always want to get the puck in the net more times than the other team.)

“That team,” my husband says to one of the other guys, after the game, “they had trouble standing up. They were falling down pretty easily.” His teammate nods in agreement.

Yeah, especially when their feet got in the way of our teams’ sticks.

I met some of the other hockey wives from the team and really, they could not be sweeter. Especially when their husbands are kicking ass and not getting any ribs broken. (Hockey Fact #2: They don’t tape ribs anymore. And they take about two months to heal.)

(Hockey Fact #3: You can break a rib just from coughing, say, from a bad case of the flu. One of the hockey wives herself experienced this. So bwaaa — hockey, dangerous?)

(Hockey Fact #4: Most of us rabid hockey fans have come to the conclusion that other sports — soccer is the sport most frequently mentioned — are way more dangerous than hockey. In hockey you wear pads, see? And a helmet. In soccer you do not. My uncle, for example, broke his leg twice playing soccer and did not realize it until he broke it a third time.)

One of the other hockey wives, in the parking lot as we were leaving, was giving me evil eye and shaking her head. I’m like, what the hell’s up with her? My husband says, “You’re wearing my jersey…” (a clean one! thank you) “…and they lost to us.” Oh, right!

(Hockey Fact #5: Hockey wives sometimes mix it up. I will sidestep any brawls.)

love,

WM

“You are the kind of bad mommy who never feeds her kids.”
— Wacky Boy

Dear Internet,

The Winter Hawks lost tonight. Also there were three fights. This upsets me. I think my partner in crime is going to write about the whole debacle, so you can go over to his place for All Things Hockey.

Now back to me. Did you know, dear readers, that I’ve been writing this blog for nearly two years? That’s right — Valentine’s Day will be my two year anniversary. But I like to celebrate everything early, so I’m taking the week off.

I leave you with:

WACKY MOMMY’S GREATEST HITS: A RETROSPECTIVE

Wacky Mommy Is Here (where it all began)

i cannot blog until the contractors leave (Yeah, reading this will make you never want to have work done on your house)

Friday Advice Column for Wacky Mothers & Others (Advice and recipes — what more could you ask for?)

All Abouts (My Illustrious Literary Career)

Thirteen Ways to Get It Up (this one needs no explanation)

I Had A Bad Year in 1997 (you will possibly cry)

No TV? Yes TV. And Tongue-Kissing (if Wacky Boy hadn’t gotten into a.m. preschool, I really would have committed murder)

An Editorial Wherein I Ain’t too Proud to Beg the Rolling Stones to Retire, Already, Before Keith Falls Out Of A Coconut Tree Again (no, I never posted this on the Stones fan club site, although several of you suggested it. Should I?)

Smooches,

WM

What? Two small blond children were here when I woke up. No school, for real? For the next two weeks, you say? I slept in until 8 o’clock. The schedule: Both still sleeping at nine; at 9:20 one of them got up; 10 a.m., the other one finally got up. They watched “Santa Clause Two,” had breakfast, and now they’re doing the puzzle that Wacky Girl won at Scooter’s Christmas Party at the Portland Winter Hawks game on Saturday. (Happy Birthday, Scooter!) They also won a T-shirt, tattoos, a key ring with a stuffed Carl Buddig cow attached. And their wicked parents, who rarely splurge for treats (do I need to pay $3.50 for a bottle of water? eight bucks for a hamburger? I think not), bought them french fries. Woo-hoo!

Great game.

Now, Miss Zoot must know that I’m all about free stuff. Free bamboo knitting needles! (Aka, chopsticks.) Yes. Free passes to the movies. Gift certificates = free. So she and her readers are winning all this damn stuff and I’m thinking, “I want some damn free stuff!” Don’t you? Click on the little “win with me on Blingo” icon over there. Not there — there. See it? OK. Then we will win together, yay!

(Also, Zoot and her husband, all dressed up, soooo cute.)

(Also, Happy Father’s Day to all the dads, but especially Hockey God. We love you, buddy! Aren’t you glad the Edmonton Oilers KICKED HOCKEY ASS! Yeah, Game 7, wooooooo-hooooooooooooooooo!)

When your hair looks this good, why waste it on a hockey game? That’s right. The Portland Winter Hawks have gone from being in almost last place to almost first place. See what a few weeks and Brandon Dubinsky will get you? Doo-by! Doo-by!

However. I do not know much about hockey. I do not even know if they won. (The score was 2-1, Winter Hawks, when we left mid-second period.) You will have to ask Hockey God about that.

“It’s boring!” says Wacky Girl.

“I am planning on never skating again,” says Wacky Boy.

So we left my husband at the game, sullen and grumpy because his family does not share his love of hockey, and went to Roux instead.

(more…)

Wacky Girl’s home ice as it looked in the early 60s