Dear Wacky Mommy,

How do you get your in-laws to stay in a hotel if they are going to visit you every three or four months for a week at a time, because we live in a small two-bedroom house and it would be more comfortable for all of us , especially for their three-year-old grandchild who gets displaced from her bedroom to her parents’ room every time they visit?

Signed,

Expecting Company

Dear E.C.,

My suggestion would be even a little more displacement; this time for you and your spouse. Would it work for the two of you to stay at a hotel or motel for a night or three while they visit? It’s expensive — but not as expensive as buying plane tickets for the three of you to go visit the in-laws. They’re springing for their plane tickets, and maybe a meal or two out while they’re here, yes? And maybe a rental car? A hotel might not be in their budget.

My guess is your in-laws are saying they’re coming to visit you all, but they are most interested in the three footer in the household. They might be delighted to have the little honey all to themselves. And a break, for just the two of you, could be fun.

Another option is to go away, all of you together, while they’re here and take a mini-vacation. That way you can make reservations for two rooms, or maybe even a suite for your immediate family so your daughter has her own space. You might try suggesting that they stay at a hotel for some or all of their visit, if they can afford it. Preface it with something like, “Allie has a hard time sleeping with us, now that she’s older. Could we help pitch in for a hotel during your stay?”

Good luck, and have a good visit.

Love,

WM

Dear Wacky Mommy,

I have a neighbor who insists on walking his dog off leash and letting it crap all over my lawn. He picks it up (at least when he thinks somebody might see him), but I still think this is disgusting. I have confronted him about it, but he just laughs it off.

Mostly now, he walks on the other side of the street. But this morning, there was dog shit on our sidewalk. Fucking gross!! I have two young kids who have a knack for finding the dog shit whereever it is and stepping in it.

What can I do about this kind of passive-aggressive asshole who refuses to take responsibility for their dog?

Sincerely,
NoPo dad ready for NoDo

Dear NoDo,

Bag it up and leave it on his front porch. Do not set the bag on fire.

Love,

WM