things that are pissing me off today
In no particular order…
1) An ex-con rapist lives across the street from my beautiful, sweet,
single sister, thus endangering her safety and that of my kids. (I’m
not worried about moi. Because I am so furious lately that if anyone
tries to come after me, or anyone I love, they are the ones who should
be afraid.) No the kids aren’t going over there to play as long as he’s
around.
Should she sell her house and move, like some of her neighbors are? WM
says yes. And to those of you who say “Well, there are bad people all
over, there are no guarantees!” I say, “HELLO!!! She KNOWS there is a
rapist living on this particular street, and he’s not going anywhere
anytime soon.” Bastard. Wacky Sis, sell the house and buy another one.
Interest rates are cool right now.
2) My friends are doing non-governmental organization work (ie they’re
missionaries) in West Africa and have been having hard, scary times. I
am pissed about what is happening around them there and no I can’t give
details I will cry. Suffice it to say, they are lovely people, not
Bible thumpers or self-righteous evil do-gooders, just very sweet,
smart, talented people who are doing what they can to bring literacy
and art to an impoverished section of the universe. Please send good
thoughts to B and D and their three awesome kids. They are brave and generous and make me look like the laziest girl in the world.
3) People drive like assholes. While talking on their cell phones.
Parked, say, in their SUVs outside of school, talking on their cell
phones, PARKED DID I MENTION THAT? when suddenly, just as my kids and i
are walking behind their cars they slam into reverse. Why are we not
walking on the sidewalk? There is no sidewalk. Or the grass? One word:
Dogs.
, 
.
Ay, carumba, when it rains, it pours, no? Sorry you are having to deal with so much crapola. My hat is off to your friends, who I think are the real heroes in this world: the ones who walk the talk and perservere when the task seems unwinnable. Overpaid celebrities, self-important politicians, and poor, pimply baby-faced soldiers who got snookered into fighting for someone else’s agenda get all the glory, but people like your friends quietly change the world, one community at a time. My admiration and prayers of protection go with them.
As for your sister, it just isn’t fair that Pervo Creepo Sex Offender neighbor has the “right” to live anywhere he wants, and your sister, who has done no wrong, is relegated to searching the classified ads for “Homes, Sex Offender-Free.” I guess in your case, we’d better make that classification “Sex Offender- and Psycho Fido-Free.” That neighbor of yours is going to have, at the very least, a lawsuit on her hands. I hate to think what else could happen. I have a plan: go to “Pepper Spray R Us” and buy a multipack for the next time Psycho-Fido “drops in.” (That you would keep it out of the reach of the adorable off-spring is a given.) Give one to sis for Pervy Creepo. Oh! Better yet: have sis offer to pet-sit for Pscho-Fido. (“Oh, hello Mr. Creepo. Have you met my new dog, Cujo? Kill Cujo, kill! Rip off his testicles! Oh, just kidding. I’m such a kidder!”)
I have to admit your faux-sobbing, water-works plan is brilliant, too. Now all you need is some good waterproof mascara…
March 19th, 2005 | #
I do need to buy some pepper spray, but where do I keep it when I’m on walks or out in the yard (where I’ll be most likely to need it?)? The kids are pretty good about not digging through my purse, so that might work. Maybe in a little backpack or something, for when I’m not carrying a purse?
I love the Cujo suggestion! Why didn’t i think of that? Wacky Sister what do u think?
in lieu of Friday Advice Column maybe we could brainstorm on dealing with sex offenders and other crazy animals? Help!
March 19th, 2005 | #
I had a friend that had a sort of holster like what you see for knives that you attach to your belt loop. Not real friendly looking but if you hide it under your shirt or something may not be so bad. Do they have these at a place where you buy pepper spray? Don’t know. Good luck. ;)
March 21st, 2005 | #