Worst Birthday Present I’ve Ever Received
Yes, this year takes the cake for this honor. A call, at 10:30 at night on my birthday, from one of my dear (???) friends, who now lives out of state, saying, “I’ve been staying at D’s for the past few days!” (D being my ex, from years and years ago. He was one of those Break Your Heart Into 100 Pieces and Kick It to The Curb types. Yes, she slept with him after we split up. And apparently, still is.)
Me, confused: “Oh, so you’re in town?”
Dear Friend: “Yes! I just got here today!” (This conflicts with the “…staying at D’s for the past few days!” part of her story, but whatever… I think she’s using again, from the sound of her voice. D always was a druggie, too, but I thought they were both clean now. Guess not.)
She then proceeded to tell me that she was in town for her daughter’s bachelorette party (she’s in her early 20s, second marriage, fasten your seatbelts, folks, it’s going to be a bumpy life…) and no, no invitation for me to the bachelorette party. Even though I know her daughter well and am an old family friend (??? not really, I guess), and that the wedding is next weekend! Isn’t that great? No, I wasn’t invited!
Signed,
Who Needs Friends Like That, Mama
, 
.
With friends like that, who needs enemas? (yes, enemas…)
You’re in with a much more classy crowd these days!
June 27th, 2005 | #
For sure.
June 28th, 2005 | #