You’re probably wondering to yourself, “Self, I wonder what the hell Wacky Mommy is cooking in that Rival Crockpot today?”

Chili with Wine, baby, and it is goooooooooooooooood.

This recipe is one I’ve been playing with for awhile. It’s from photographer Serge McCabe, and originally ran in FoodDay, the Oregonian’s food section. I cook it on low all day or overnight in the crockpot, but you can also cook it on high for 3-4 hours, then on low for 2 more hours. Or follow Wacky Daddy’s advice: “You can cook it in a damn stockpot! You don’t need a slow cooker! We don’t have enough space on the counter for all your gadgets! Fucking food processor. Blender. Crockpot. Fucking hell, is any hockey on?” (PS — the Winterhawks won yesterday, against the Chiefs. Thank you! Collins, start behaving, would you? Just skate, and play old-time hockey…)

Back to the recipe: Meat? You’re on your own for meat. Serge suggests barbecuing 4 pounds chuck steak or tri-tip, and feeding the fat to the dog. Our dog already has enough fat, he looks like a beer keg on legs, as someone pointed out awhile back. I sometimes fry up Texas Burgers (a veggie burger we are crazy about at Wacky House), chop them, and throw that in. Whatever meat you use, cook it first before adding.

2 tablespoons vegetable or olive oil (I use 1 tablespoon of each)

1 28-ounce can tomatoes (crush in your hand to break up) and juice

1 medium onion

1/3 cup chopped cilantro

1 medium green or red pepper, seeded and chopped

1 4-ounce can diced green chiles

Half a clove garlic, minced

1 1/2 teaspoons ground cumin

1 tablespoon chili powder

1 tablespoon sugar

Pinch of ground pepper

1 teaspoon salt (or to taste)

1 cup cheap red wine (water, vegetable, chicken or beef stock OK, too)

Juice from 1/2 a lime (about 1 tablespoon)

2 16-oz cans kidney beans (pintos or black beans are nice, too)

Optional garnishes: Grated, sharp cheddar cheese; chopped onion; cilantro; sour cream; plain yogurt; avocado slices)

Warmed corn or flour tortillas

Butter

Put oil in crockpot; turn to high.

Chop onions, garlic, peppers and cilantro; add them one at a time and let them simmer while you get other items prepped.

Add tomatoes and juice. Add wine, and pour yourself a glass while you’re at it, then sugar, salt, pepper and spices.

Add beans an hour before serving. (I’ve also thrown them in early, if I want everything to be ready when I get back.)

Bon appetit, Mamas!