Friday Book Review: Punk Rock Dad, The Big Payoff, Garage Sale America
Reviewed today:
Wacky Mommy: Another parenting book lands on my desk. And even though I’m allegedly a “mom blogger,” I am feeling a little ‘eh’ about one more parenting book. This one is by Pennywise lead singer Jim Lindberg and it’s about his three adorable little blonde daughters and his sexy, supportive, Bunko-playing wife.
She’s not on the cover, the wife, but I’m assuming those are his kids and not models. Pink-Haired Housewife, have you ever listened to Pennywise?
Pink-Haired Housewife: First of all – no thanks to a bottle of Clairol 121A that was NOT “Dark Brown” as labeled, I am now (Joan) Jett Black-Haired Housewife. The little pot of gold at the end of my shoe polish-head rainbow is that there’a not a grey hair in sight. For now…
Pennywise! Funny you should ask. I did a bit of research after reading Jim’s book, because as an older punk-rock lady I’d heard of Pennywise, but never actually listened to them. They’re surprisingly good, WM. You might consider picking up a CD for the minivan. “F*** Authority!” is right up your alley. And Jim’s got a sexy voice. I think I might be into Jim. He’s got a whole “thing” goin’ on.
Did you LOVE this book, or what?!
WM: Sorry, black hair, green or fuchsia, your name is Pink-Haired Housewife. Here are all the other punk rockers, pissed: “That damn Lindberg, seducing the lonely housewives. Bastard!”
PHH: Lonely? Who’s lonely? Pay no attention to that pile of used C batteries behind the curtain!
WM: “Kids, how about some more ‘Even Stevens’ and ‘Lizzie McGuire’? Mommy needs a little time-out.” Yeah, I did love this book. I especially loved the drugstore scene, when the clerk figures out he’s from Pennywise and tells him “Dude, I used to listen to you guys when I was a kid.” Ouch. (As the author is purchasing breast pads, children’s anal suppositories, and brown hair dye for men.)
“With each swipe across the scanner I go from being punk rock, superstar, Warped Tour legend, to rapidly aging, grayhaired father of a constipated child, with a nipple-dripping wife.”
I’m not a big fan of the cutesy-wootsy books about poop, or the books where the mom ridicules her husband for not knowing how to change a diaper. I was the one who needed lessons there — I couldn’t figure out the wraps or cloth diapers at all. My husband figured it out first, then showed me. He was also the one who assembled the breast pump.
PHH: Hockey God’s got that little dose of hippie in him, doesn’t he?
Here’s the thing: Jim manages to refrain from all that slick sarcastic “cool dad” commentary that’s taking the publishing world by storm: “Here’s another one of my IRREVERENT tales about how super smart, hysterically funny, and hip my family is! Read on! It’s all sooooo interesting. And cool. Unless it’s about in-laws. In-laws are not cool. Ever.”
None of that BS here.
WM: Yeah, Hockey God’s a hockey-playin’, diaper-changin’, flower-plantin’ hippie, alright. Mr. Pennywise sounds like a downhome guy. I’d like to have them as neighbors, y’know? I could see hanging out with him and Jennifer, drinking mojitos in the backyard and watching the kids tear around. He nails it when he actually listens to his kid when she tells him, “You never play with me anymore.” Then he admits it: “It hurt hearing her say it, but it was true.”
PHH: (Mojitos! You kill me.)
Punk rock dad being all soft without the sugary aftertaste.
(There is no way I just wrote that! Did I write that?! How embarrassing. What a shame.)
WM: I also liked his advice on sex. Namely: Have some. Have you read any of the other books we’ve received for review? I have not. I am working/sleeping/working/sleeping. What free time I have is spent feeding the children. Usually at restaurants. I started the “Big Payoff : 8 Steps Couples Can Take to Make the Most of Their Money — And Live Richly Ever After,” by Sharon Epperson, this pretty interesting and well laid-out financial planning book. However. Once she mentioned estate planning and wills, and the importance of naming decent guardians for your spawn… Well. I hyperventilated and had to put the book down.
I also tried to read the “Garage Sale America” book but couldn’t get into it. I did love “The Dangerous Book for Boys,” along with the rest of the world. I already reviewed that one here, but I’ll say it again — it was pretty good.
PHH: “Garage Sale America” – Couldn’t get into it, eh? I wonder why…Let’s sum it up, shall we?
“Garage sales are cool. There are many hidden treasures that can be found at garage sales. Garage sales have a good beat that I can dance to.”
No thanks to the Antiques Roadshow, a plastic tablecloth circa 1994’s gonna run ya $5-10. I’m seriously considering writing a letter to this guy’s editor and asking for that 30 minutes of my life back. I could’ve been playing with my 4-year-old who tells me I never play with her anymore. The one that I never feed, because I don’t have any free time.
I’m working on the vaccination inventor-guy book. So for next time we’ll be bantering about financial planning and vaccinations?
WM: Yes. And “The Manny: (MAN-NEE) N: A Nanny of the Male Persuasion,” a novel by Holly Peterson. Ta-ta!
PHH: Stay sweet!
, 
.
In the interest of accuracy, I don’t plant flowers; only vegetables. Which I raise organically and eat vegetarianly.
June 8th, 2007 | #
They are heavenarily.
June 8th, 2007 | #
Punk Rock Dad- sounds interesting, but my kids are old enough that I am just flying by the seat of my pants and counting the days till they are our on their own or paying for their own auto insurance. Don’t think I need a book now.
The money one- sounded boring
Yard sales??- Been to yardsalequeen .com, they are persistent in their bargain hunting, I just want to get rid of stuff without the guilt. Somebody’s trying to make money off of us by writing a book.
Since you are going to do something on vaccinations, what is this thing called Chicken pox parties? I read a blog from someone in California who had a yuppy 13 going and mentioned this. What is your take on this?
June 8th, 2007 | #
Jenny,
Good luck on the whole auto thing. I’ll keep fingers crossed for you. I’ve seen the way my kids ride their bikes. I shudder to think of how they’ll drive.
And oh. Jesus. Talk to the Wacky Nekkid Neighbors about the Chicken Pox Parties — they’re big fans. (Funny — they shied away from us when we had lice. C’mon — let’s all be contagious together!) The chickenpox vaccine is not perfect — last I heard it was about 50 percent effective. (I’m thinking — Great, as long as you’re the 50 percent it works for! Both of my kids were vaccinated for that and everything else. And Wacky Girl will be vaccinated with Gardasil in a few years here.)
But the anti-vaccine crowd is spouting off how *they* had chickenpox when they were kids and geez, what fun days! It wasn’t so bad!
So when a friend or acquaintance gets The Pox, they all rush their kids over, throw them together and hope their munchkins will catch it, too.
I am no medical professional here, so don’t quote me — and of course mercury and thimerosal (which were formerly used as preservatives in vaccines) are evil (and no longer in use, am I right on this?) — but chickenpox can be bad and potentially fatal. Complications can be more than just the possible scarring. And you always risk getting a mild case of it as the child and a full-fledged case of it as an adult, so a “Pox Party” is no guarantee that you’re given a pass.
And shingles? Shingles is a whole other issue. But if you’ve never had the pox, you’re not getting shingles, supposedly. (Please correct me if I’m wrong on this. From that Medical Expert, the Internet: “In 2006, the Food and Drug Administration approved a VZV vaccine (Zostavax) for use in people 60 and older who have had chickenpox. When the vaccine becomes more widely available, many older adults will for the first time have a means of preventing shingles.”)
My gripes with the non-vaccinating crowd are 1) They’re risking their kids’ lives and my kids, too. 2) They’re counting on those of us who do vaccinate to “protect” their kids. That isn’t how deadly diseases are halted. So to these happy-go-lucky types I say: Get real and stop pissing me off.
All I have to do is remember a former teacher of mine, so self-conscious because of his limp from polio. That’s enough of a pro-shots marketing tool for me.
June 8th, 2007 | #
What the anti-vaccine people don’t understand is that we all benefit from herd immunity. That is, because of huge immunization campaigns, the human herd has developed immunity to formerly rampant, life-threatening and/or crippling diseases (i.e. polio).
The risk of getting these diseases is so low now that the risks of the vaccine may actually be higher. But by refusing the vaccine, they are simultaneously taking advantage of and jeopardizing herd immunity. This is patently foolish and irresponsible.
(I’m not talking about chicken pox. This disease isn’t as dangerous as polio or small pox, and its vaccine isn’t as effective. But some folks refuse all vaccines on principle. That’s who I’m talking about.)
June 8th, 2007 | #
Can I back out of this vaccine book deal now, WM?
Remember the scene in “The Wizard of Oz” where the Cowardly Lion runs and jumps out the window?
That’s me.
June 8th, 2007 | #
Dear BFF Pink-Haired Housewife,
Everything doesn’t HAVE to be so confrontational, does it? In the words of my friend Moshi-Moshi as she headed off to the Peace Corps: “How can I teach them that their way is wrong and my way is right?”
June 8th, 2007 | #
The Moshi-Moshi quote is funniest with some context. She was referring to teaching central-Americans — descendants of the humans who first domesticated corn — how to grow corn.
June 9th, 2007 | #