Hello, my chickens,

Would you like to know what I’m reading? First up, we have two funny moms — Sara Ellington and Stephanie Triplett — who put their smart little heads together and just published their second book, “The Must-Have Mom Manual: Two Mothers, Two Perspectives, One Book That Tells You Everything You Need to Know” (Ballantine, 2009, $17, 525 pages.) (more…)

My girlfriend Wendi would like me to tell you about the Animal Rescue Site. Go click. You can also buy a purple paw messenger bag. Who knew?

“I said I don’t like hippies
And I don’t like cornbread
And I don’t like much”

— “Fat Babies,” Lyle Lovett

You know how when you go to someone’s house, and their kitchen is filthy? And the bathroom is filthy? And you think Please God let me not have to take a pee while I’m here. And please, please…

…and then they say, Here, I fixed us a little something to eat!

And you’re thinking, If I eat that, I’m gonna get botulism or salmonella or something bad and damn, I don’t even like coleslaw get me out of here.

Or maybe that’s just me. Anyway, my goal, small though it may be, is to not be that person.

Here. Have a cooky.

Goddess Dooce is in Portland tonight, you going? I can’t make it, too much going on. Bummed about that but I’ll deal.

Have a superfine Monday. The kids are back in school, finally.

xxox

wm

Last week my grandma informed me that she was going to stop eating. And taking her medicine. And, eventually, living.

Then along came a platter of bacon. And the Cold War. (more…)

Spring break is fun. For kids. For moms it just goes on and on and on while you get nothing done except pulling out more hair.

But the visit with the outlaws has been excellent and tonight at dinner? Guess which Blazer stood right by our table?

That’s right.

And no I won’t tell you where we were cuz even tall, tall, tall men who are NBA supastars need some anonymity.

He is almost 7 feet tall, no fooling. Go look at his stats. And when you see that up close in person, even if you’re 5 foot ten inches tall you feel rilly rilly wimpy and short.

Man.

and throwing up… and obsessing about when will this fever break?… “King of the Road” is really NOT the song you want stuck in your head.

Just sayin’.

We seem to be on the mend here, but my in-laws won’t come near us. Can’t blame them there. We may need to meet in a neutral territory, like Switzerland or somewhere, where they won’t have to deal with the many contaminated surfaces of our house.

Little Miss Honey Butt stopped by yesterday with Baby in a Wagon and wouldn’t even come in. “We had it last week, no thank you!” she called out from the sidewalk. It does seem to just be a 24 hour thing, but that 24 hours is total hell.

Happy Monday, y’all.

wm

Cuz Twitter is okay, Facebook is okay, but Thee Blogs are the place you want to be when you have the flu, can’t sleep, and it’s 3:15 a.m.

Lucky in-laws. Lucky, lucky people, flying 2,000 miles to visit Chez Grippe. I’ll give them your sympathy, Internet, when I yell downstairs at them in a few hours I HAVE THE FLU I’M STAYING IN BED ALL DAY. TAKE THE KIDS, WHO’S NOT THROWING UP, WOULD YOU?

love,

wm

Ah, I like a book review, especially when I learn something new along the way, too.

Did you know that Dr. Seuss (Theodor Geisel) wrote 44 books total? They have been translated into 30 languages. He won the Pulitzer Prize and eight honorary degrees along the way, and works based on his stories have won three Oscars, three Emmys, three Grammys and a Peabody. Yay, Dr. Seuss. I could have guessed at most of that, but somehow I never realized that Theo LeSieg (Geisel in reverse, get it?) and Rosetta Stone were his pseudonyms.

Hmm. Very interesting.

This year is the 50th anniversary for “Happy Birthday to You!” ($14.95, Random House) and a fun “party edition” has just been released. Along with “On Beyond Zebra,” “Happy Birthday to You” as always struck me as one of the stranger Seuss’s, what with the “hippo-heimers,” the “mustard-off” pools and clubs, the “Time-Telling Fish.” You decide for yourself.

“And here comes your cake! Cooked by Snookers and Snookers,
The Official Katroo Happy Birthday Cake Cookers.”

The baby book ($9.99, Random House) is just as crazy and fun, with scratch and sniff, flaps, and moving pictures, so you can go all interactive with baby.

“Princess Baby Night-Night,” by Karen Katz ($14.99, Random House, Schwartz & Wade Books), is the adorable sequel to “Princess Baby.” It’s pink and sparkly, with lots of stuffed animals flying around and an irrepressible little princess who does not want to go to sleep. It’s charming.

Reviewed today:

Just talked with the staff at my kids’ school — apparently the cold turns into the flu, then the flu turns into a cough. “And the cough lasts. And lasts.”

So, we’re starting spring break early, and not in the manner planned.

Nevertheless, I will persevere.

Now watching Mr. President — I tivo’ed it last night. Kevin Eubank wore a suit in honor of the visit. Heh heh heh. Who do I have a bigger crush on? Kevin? The President? Josh Turner? It’s a toss-up.

Leno: “Your mom will be so proud.”
Kevin: “Oh, yes, she will be, Jay.”

Heh heh heh.

The President: “Let me just say, I think Kevin looks good in a suit. He looks a little like Secret Service.”

Best quote from President Obama: “They say if you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.”

Bloggers I’m reading this week:
Miss Zoot
Posts from Portland
Wacky Mummy (cuz I like Wacky)
i am bossy
Under the Tuscan Gun

Have a good Friday, everyone.

wm

Here, let me entertain you in my own lame-ass way…

The dishwasher, she is working. Sears Service Guy came by. Unhooked it all, hooked it back up and voila! Washing, washing, washing the dishes. “It’s like when you take your car to the mechanic, they drive it a hundred miles and say, ‘It ran fine for me.'” True, that.

Wacky Girl has been home sick most of the week with cold, asthma, and need to write new novel. It’s a mystery-thriller-kinda “Twilight” type book. Only without the vampires — instead they’re… I can’t tell you. It’s her novel and if she sees me writing this she’ll be most unhappy. She’s already cranky and thrashy from the flu.

Wacky Boy threw up all night last night and it was very sad and also I now have 14 or 20 loads of laundry to do. And the in-laws arrive for spring break day after tomorrow and hopefully my husband will have spoken with them before they read this blog post to tell them, Looking forward to seeing you! We have The Grippe, you don’t mind, do you? So, dear in-laws, if this is the first you’ve heard of it, hey! We’re sick. What else is new.

I want them to visit and am a little agitated that we’re down and out. We have not seen them in an extremely long time — am willing the virus(es) to go away.

And I can’t see my grandma for a few days, since we’re all buggy.

I’m knitting five new scarves to keep busy, and cleaning the house. Also, you know. Laundry.

Hockey God fixed coffee for us and stuck around while I ran to the store for Recharge, popsicles and Saltines, then left for work.

The End