This is the closest I’m getting to a Christmas letter, dear readers. Enjoy it while it lasts.

The kids have decided they need editorial control of my blog. My fiction is my own, but any “cute” little stories about the children now need to be run by… the children. This is a stupid rule. If I could, I would tell you…

All about how my son sleeps with his head entirely under the covers when he’s exhausted. And how his dad has the same kooky habit.

The cat? Does the cat want editorial control, too? Too bad! Wacky Cat 3 is a crazeee little kitten. He’s gained some weight since he came to live with us. He loves to find little toys and odd items around the house, bat them into the air, chase them around and land on them, whoooomph. He is a delight. Except when he’s trying to terrorize our grouchy old lady cat, Wacky Cat 1 (she slashes him) or he’s thumping on Wacky Cat 2 (who is a bit scared of him, but can’t stand to be away from him. Do you have anyone you feel like that about?)…

I might tell you, if I could, how a certain daughter went a little wacky at church yesterday. Her friends got to race around (during the service) disrupting everyone and having a swell time? Why couldn’t she? Fidget, fidget, twitch. Fidget, fidget, crumple paper. The minister told a good story about a rabbi who visited some monks, told them one of them was the Messiah. Fidget, fidget, melt-down. “Can we please skip coffee hour?” Sure.

“What did you get out of that service, hon? Anything?”

“Yes. Not really. Something about rabbits and monkeys?”

Merry Christmas and Happy Year of the Rat.

“A Rat Year is a time of hard work, activity, and renewal. This is a good year to begin a new job, get married, launch a product or make a fresh start. Ventures begun now may not yield fast returns, but opportunities will come for people who are well prepared and resourceful. The best way for you to succeed is to be patient, let things develop slowly, and make the most of every opening you can find. People born in an Earth Rat are said to be logical realists, shrewd, charming, ambitious, and inventive. Of course, the entire horoscope must be considered when making any personality assessment.”

I’m a Dragon. Surprise. You?

WM

from my sister’s answering machine, circa 1989?? Her roommate, drunk, singing,

“happy holidays… happy holidays… leave a MESSAGE… fa la la la LA…”

best to you and yours,

love,

WM

My most tardy Thursday Thirteen ever (I think, anyway)…

(With apologies to 13ers and Usual Suspects, who may have been waiting.)

Why You Should Never Blog When You’re Mad or Have the Mean Reds:

13. It’s like drunk-dialing. It’s just a bad idea.

12. Even if you delete it later, they’ll remember it.

11. My habit of using cuss words, even under the best of circumstances.

10. There may be children in the room.

9. Someone else’s children may be reading what you just wrote, in regards to their beloved parents. That is just so frickin’ uncool, to yammer on negatively about someone when it’s not absolutely necessary.

8. Blog unto others as you would have them blog unto you.

7. Temper, temper. Don’t let it flare. Venting does not always make it better. I know.

6. It stops you from getting important work done, when you’re “angry typing.” Mopping the kitchen floor, for instance, or revising the damn manuscript you have to get done by Jan. 1, 2008. (Self-imposed deadline; must follow.)

5. People usually have good intentions; we all just rub each other a little bit the wrong way sometimes.

4. Or a lot. I don’t mean to be morbid here, but you know what I’m going to be in fifty years? (Or less?) Dead. That’s right. So what’s the point of all the fussing?

3. My daughter’s teacher was reading the kids the last chapters of “Charlotte’s Web” yesterday and I thought, if we could all try to be half as decent as Charlotte and Wilbur, think of how much nicer the whole world would be. Then I got all choked up because, you know. I love that book. I love it so much. Enough, already, it’s fiction. But dammit, I think we can all learn a little something here.

“It is not often that someone comes along who is a true friend and a good writer. Charlotte was both.” — E.B. White

2. Being angry makes your heart hurt.

1. It’s just too dang close to Christmas and New Year’s to waste any time on nonsense.

Happy Holidays, y’all.

Love,

WM

The Lovely Suzanne’s recipes… and those of her readers, too!

Bon Appetit.

WM

“Whatsoever affliction assails me methinks I have the keys of my prison in mine own hand, and no remedy presents itself so soon to my heart as mine own sword.”

— John Donne, “Biathanotos,” 1646

(For my former PSU English prof, Jack Cooper.)

Wacky Girl: You know how to Irish dance?

Mini-Nekkid Neighbor: Yeah, I learned it on the computer.

Hmm. Want to know what I did tonight? First I took my daughter to tap dance. Her tap-dancing grandmother will be thrilled when I tell her. Then we came home and had a fast dinner, and drove over to Jefferson High School for a little meeting.

A meeting that numerous parents decided to boycott, so guess who was there? That’s right. Me. Hockey God. And three other parents. That makes — five parents. And three kids (who raced around our table like crazy hooligans, but mainly behaved. Thank you, kids. Here’s a cooky.)

Who was there, besides us and the kids? Oh, about fifteen, or possibly it was twenty-eight, Portland Public Schools administrators and staff. Again — hmm. Some of you would be a little, I don’t know, freaked out by this. Or perhaps you would boycott and say You should have given us more notice nyah nyah. (I heard about the meeting last week, as did some other parents.)

Anyhow, you are not me, and that’s what makes me Wacky Mommy and makes you… I dunno. Grouchy and blog-less? (Ha! Triple ha ha ha!) (Pours herself a triple espresso. Thinks about her manuscript that she will work on later tonight, dammit. Or possibly tomorrow.)

First, I listened to The Administrators and Staff. Then, they listened to me (and Hockey God, and the other parents.) Then we all had a cooky. (I brought a large bowl of chocolate crinkle cookies with me. Chocolate crinkles, how I adore you. That is the recipe I used, that I just linked to. It’s deluxe.)

Hmm. Where was I? Yes. Then I listened to them, they listened to me, they listened to the other parents, we listened to them again and we made a nice big list of:

What We Want For Jefferson High School

It turns out we all want the same things. Who knew? Then we had another cooky, then we all went home. If you’d like to talk about this, you can send me an e-mail, or leave a note in comments. Better yet, drop a note to the school and cc the district.

Regards,

WM

PS — There was some talk of building an ice hockey rink at the school, for my husband and son, but no promises.

UPDATED 10 a.m. Monday morning…
wm

The meeting scheduled for Monday evening (Dec. 17th) at Jefferson High IS taking place. Community members will have a chance to discuss educational opportunities at Jefferson with district and Jefferson representatives

The meeting on Tuesday, December 18 with Superintendent Smith at PPS district headquarters (501 N. Dixon) will also take place.

A Conversation With Carole Smith

Please join Portland PTA Council for a conversation with Superintendent Carole Smith about the future of PPS schools. Where are the challenges and opportunities for our PPS community? How can parents connect with the district and best advocate for our kids? What is going well or not so well at your school? How can PPS better meet your students’ and schools’ needs?

When: Tuesday, December 18
7:00 pm

Where: PPS District Offices
Blanchard Building Atrium
501 N. Dixon
Portland, 97217

Coffee and dessert will be served!

RSVP or direct any questions to Russ Albertson, President, Portland Council PTA, ralbertsonlegend at hotmail dot com

And you didn’t.

Rock and roll, honey!

And for those of you suffering from a lil seasonal depression, perhaps brought on by the holidays, perhaps by the weather, or perhaps it’s just a sense of ennui, you’re feeling “too much of the world” right now, I’d like to say:

“Keep passing the open windows.”
— John Irving

Oh, that BlackFriend, my BBFF (Black Best Friend Forever), she’s all “write, write!” I’ll give you bullets and that is it:

* I am job-hunting again.

* I am working on my manuscript and getting distracted by numerous things including 1) laundry 2) ringing phones 3) cats 4) husband wanting things 5) children wanting things 6) shopping for a. groceries and b. Christmas and c. baking

* We’re not moving.

* Didn’t see that coming, did you?

* Sigh.

* Puts cat out, calls it a day.

* Last night we bought a new car. Today we had my husband’s company holiday dinner, my son’s classroom’s puppet show and my daughter’s church Christmas pageant dress rehearsal.

* I’m wiped out.

* kisses.

* WM