Here ya go, Internets.

I wanted to like Jennifer Egan’s “A Visit From the Goon Squad.” I really did. But it had too many characters, too many switch-ups, too much name dropping (hip bands, hip clubs, hip people at hip restaurants) and… I just wasn’t into it. I realize that it won the Pulitzer. And the National Book Critics Circle Award. Just not for me. The End.

Robert Whitaker is a genius, and I appreciate the work he is doing to expose all of messed-up stuff that the mentally ill have to face and deal with in our country. It’s too painful for me to write about this topic, especially because today is my late father’s birthday. (I love you, Dad. So very much. Happy birthday.) But I really recommend that everyone read the information that Whitaker has painstakingly gathered. Such a wake-up call.

Peace,

me

ps don’t forget… the door to hell is in your living room. (under the carpet.)

I was a big fan of E.B. White growing up, and read and re-read “Charlotte’s Web” and “Stuart Little” many times. I still have my original little paperbacks. My daughter and her father had re-read “Charlotte’s Web” approximately eight times by the time she turned seven. (We were gifted a big, gorgeous illustrated copy by my sister-in-law.) They bonded over it, it was extremely sweet.

My son is a Stuart Little fan, although I have to say, he likes the movies more than the book. (What??? Child of mine, what?) When I got older, I became a devotee of White’s work with Strunk, “The Elements of Style.” (“Omit unnecessary words.”) (OK, I never said I obeyed their edicts. But I always try.)

So how did we miss “Trumpet of the Swan”? I’ve been reading it with my son for the past couple of weeks, and we’re both enjoying it. It’s funny, it’s real, it’s fantasy, it makes me happy. It’s one of those bonding books, just like “Charlotte’s Web.” We have Louis, the white Trumpeter swan; his dad; his mom; his best friend Sam Beaver; Serena, the swan he longs for — all such good characters. This one is an excellent nighttime read-aloud. I love White for a lot of reasons, but the main reason? He doesn’t talk down to kids. We could all learn a little something here. (Scholastic, 210 pages.)

And now, a fast review of the new Nat’l. Geo. Kids 2012 Almanac, by our two in-house kid reviewers:

Wacky Boy: “OK, I get to do it all. From this book, I learned that there are a bunch of ways to be good to the environment. For instance, you can transform dog poop into energy.”

WG: “Ish.”

and… they’re done. (National Geo. Kids, $13.99, 351 pages.)

Wee little Buglette is a very messy sleeper. She is giving her mother fits. Sweet book for the littles, and the watercolors, all in purples, grays, greens and other light shades, are soothing and pretty. (Tricycle Press, $15.99, 32 pages.) You will find Bethanie’s website at aquapup.com, and her blog at bethaniemurguia.blogspot.com. Until May 21st, 2011, she’s giving away signed copies, so go leave her a note (U.S. only please, sorry, guys :(

She might even give away an original illustration, how’d ya like that?

Plus! Leave a note here on Wacky Mommy for a chance to win a signed copy of the book (two chances! here and over at Bethanie’s), stickers or a “do not disturb” door hanger. If you are interested, leave me a comment (I’m lonely! I love when you say “hey”) (also, something about contests! makes me break out the exclamation marks!), and then send me an e-mail with your request, plus your name and home address. I will see what I can do… (again, U.S. only, argh.)

No, I won’t sell your home address or e-mail, c’mon. This is just a fast fun one. I’m cutting ya off after… the fifth person enters, how’s that? (This is why I never do contests… who has the time?)

Have a great week, y’all.

— Wacky Mommy

(Disclaimer here, yes? Noted!)

Sun is out again today, it’s fantastic. A guy came by to look at our floors — hardwoods, here we come! (I miss the oak hardwoods from our old house, but that’s about all that I miss.) The carpets, the cats who shed about two pounds of fur per day — allergies, asthma. Enough. We’re getting the bids and I can’t wait until we get the project started. (Make that “finished.” heehee.)

We just got our new copy of the “National Geographic Kids Almanac 2012” in the mail, yay! (Free copy for review, so here’s my disclaimer. Again.) My kids really enjoy these almanacs, they’re jam-packed full of fun stuff.

And another disclaimer… now that I’m retired and working from home again (wait… I thought I was retired? OK, writing = not really retired, eh?), I’m going to check out the marketing sites a little more often, BzzAgent and Vocalpoint, for starters. So if I am reviewing products (that I’ve received gratis) I will let you know. I also highly recommend signing up for some of the marketing sites, if you like to check out new products, or if you (like I do) have kids at home who love getting freebies in the mail.

For example, I just wrote this, then went to check the mail. Voila! There’s a coffee cup (paper, wrapped in plastic) that says, “take a break from aftertaste.” OK. I open it up, and there we have… chocolate! No. Damn. Coupons! For Breve Creme — one free pint, on them. And a string of cents-off coupons. I would have rather had a free cup of coffee. It’s the middle of the afternoon and I could use a jolt. But this is all right, too. So there you have it. Breve Creme.

Just remember, I never promote something just for the hell of it, even though I know that sounded like it (Breve Creme… mmmm Breve Creme) and I’m going to continue to give you my honest opinions on stuff. (Even though you’ve never, you know, asked me for ’em.) Or I will, anyway, once I try out this creamer. Dammit, maybe I should stop by Starbucks after I get the kid from school. So no buy-offs here, got it? Got it. Good luck getting any book reviews out of me, though… so busy writing that I’m not able to read as much as I’d like lately. Ah, well.

Here’s a magical recipe from the Sweet Suzanne (go buy her book, too! She worked hard on it):

Baby Reds with a Sprinkle of Magic

Ingredients

2 pounds small red skin potatoes, halved or quartered
1 tablespoon, extra-virgin olive oil
2 tablespoons butter
Salt (if you want) and pepper (I used seasoned pepper)
2 tablespoons, 3 or 4 sprigs, fresh thyme, leaves stripped and
chopped

Directions

Fill a skillet 1/2 full of water and bring water to a boil. Add
potatoes, simmer 13 minutes until fork tender. Drain potatoes in a
colander. In the pan you cooked the potatoes in, heat over med-high
heat, the extra-virgin olive oil and butter. When butter melts add
potatoes. Season potatoes with salt, pepper and chopped thyme. Coat
and brown the potatoes, turning occasionally, 7 or 8 minutes.

QOTD
“What am I doing? Nothing. I am letting life rain upon me.” — Rahel Varnhagen

Qanzas asked me awhile back how the “Everything Buddhism” book is and I completely forgot to answer him. It’s great. I am just now starting the section on karma. I read it aloud to my family and they were laughing their asses off.

“Sometimes you intentionally set out to cause harm with no malice in your heart whatsoever. You might decide to whack your dog over the head with a big stick because he won’t sit when you tell him to. You may even believe you are doing the dog some good, as he will have better manners and be better behaved. However, you are intentionally harming another creature, and this cannot be construed as a positive action.” (pp. 80-81.)

Steve’s interpretation: “As I rained down blows on and around the dog’s head I thought to myself, ‘Goddamn, there has got to be a better way.'” (Kids at that point fell off their barstools.) (No, they hadn’t had anything to drink, don’t worry.)

“It is mental volition, O monks, that I call karma. Having willed, one acts through body, speech or mind.” — The Buddha (p. 81.)

And now, a word about the Cursing Mommy, aka that assclown Ian Frazier. I hate that bitch. The End. Did you happen to read “A Cursing Mommy Serenity Prayer”? Well, you know what Mr. Frazier? Plagiarism is wrong. That’s all I have to say. Now stop reading my blog and find your own goddamn material somewhere else. Or split down your paychecks with me. Either way is fine, but buddy, you need to not continue down the road to ruin. Thief. Dirty hippie.

Now on to more important matters: “Waiting for Normal,” by Leslie Connor. My kid and I love this book and you should read it. Even if you’re a grown-up who doesn’t have kids, or a gothy teenager who only reads those books involving blood, piercings and wrecked cars, you should still read it. Especially if you’re that teenager you should read it.

“The Man Who Loved Books Too Much” is about a dirty thief who steals books using other people’s credit cards and by writing bad checks. As near as I can tell, he does not actually read any books. This makes him something like two of my ex’s who liked the way the books looked “fancy” on the shelf but never actually “opened one up.” People like that need to just stop their thievin’ and fakin’, sit down and read a damn library book. That they’ve checked out on their own card. After they’ve paid their cussing fines. Then they need to return the book, on time, once they’re done.

The End.

Love,

Wacky Mommy

On the coffeetable:

I’m sneaking in a few book reviews here and there, and some light reading, too, but the sad reality is I have too many bigass textbooks right now to do much of anything “extra.” Now I can see that this is why I put off grad school for so long. Goodbye, free time. (And when you’re a mom, working inside or outside of the home, an artist, writer, knitter, person who volunteers, someone who enjoys eating something other than pizza… shoot. Who has free time, even without university on top of it all?)

Blaze Ginsberg (son of writer Debra Ginsberg) is a young adult who has autism. “Episodes: My Life as I See It” (Roaring Brook Press, New York, 2009, $16.99, 274 pages) is his story. It’s good and it’s unlike anything else I have ever read on the topic. I especially like the way the book is formatted in the style that Ginsberg interprets thoughts, memories, stories. It’s stream-of-consciousness, it’s how he sees thing, and he takes his readers along for the ride. Nice work.

“The Long Secret,” by Louise Fitzhugh (Harper & Row Publishers, New York, 1965, 275 pages), is the highly-underrated sequel to “Harriet the Spy.” It’s one of my all-time favorites and homework be damned — I’m going to finish it this afternoon. OK, I’m doing some homework first, but Harriet, you are my girl. Thanks for always being there for me.

“Boy,” said Harriet, “how love can poison the mind. Listen, I’m going to come around here even more. This is such a big place, they obviously get more notes; so that note leaver will have to be here more often.”

Beth Ellen nodded sappily, her eyes never leaving Bunny for a minute.

“The Day Leo Said I Hate You,” by Robie H. Harris, illustrated by Molly Bang (Little, Brown and Company, New York, Boston, unpaged, $16.99) is a brand-new release. (You may remember Molly Bang from her classic picture book, “When Sophie Gets Angry — Really, Really Angry…”) This one is a really good picture book for the little hotheads in your life.

Happy Saturday!

— wm

Reading/watching this week:

David Strathairn just knocks me out in this movie, based on the story of no-holds-barred CBS newscaster Edward R. Murrow and his producer and partner, Fred Friendly (played by George Clooney). It’s a toss-up really, whose performance is better in this, they’re all good, from the leads to the supporting cast. The film skillfully blends actual footage from the McCarthy hearings into Hollywood film and does it well. The ensemble cast — all splendid — include Ray Wise, Patricia Clarkson, Robert Downey Jr. and Frank Langella.

On to the books — yes, I’m tackling another Pollan book, that’s right. This time it’s “The Omnivore’s Dilemma.” It’s good, it’s tough going to read — really intense and lots of facts, background, science, math, names and places. You know I enjoy a “lite” summer read. Woof. It will make you look at corn in a whole new jaded way. Also, I never want to eat beef ever again. I’m serious. Even if it’s grass-fed, I’m sick of this crap — literally — and can’t support it any more. Remember the whole mad cow thing? OK — it’s not all right to feed cows other cows’ brains any more. Oh, yes, that’s bad. Bad, bad, bad. But as far as feeding them other parts? Game on. Blech. Sorry for my language, but it’s all shit, shit, and more shit, and then it’s re-gurged shit and it’s fed to us and our babies. Why are we agreeing to this? (Oh, sweet! Just noticed the McDonald’s pop-up ad is running on my sidebar. OK, I think I need to stop whoring it out here.)

This is a nasty, nasty country we live in, as far as our agribusiness goes. And our politics. And our need to drop bombs hither and yon, according to our whims. And our refusal to pay for education, books, teachers, social services and health care. Other than that, America Rocks!

Argh.

“America: Love It or Give It Back.”

Something lighter, please? Any Young Adult books by any of the Sharons are good: Sharon Flake, Sharon Draper or Sharon Creech. Just finished “Ruby Holler”; “Walk Two Moons” is next on the list.

“Accepting a generous spoonful, Dallas said, ‘I suppose we should have told you we were going –‘

Florida licked the honey from her fingers. ‘Well, ma’am, that’s a mighty interesting way to think.'”

Now reading:

A review, by Wacky Girl: “I really like the 2011 National Geographic Kids Almanac for many reasons. It’s easy to use, has lots of pictures, tells you everything you need to know about everything and is easy to understand. It is also very colorful! Some of my favorite sections are: the future world chapter, Your World 2011, Super Science and Wonders of Nature. I would recommend this book to really anybody. It’s easy to use, fun, and has a lot of information.”

(A note from her librarian mama: Most kids love almanacs, encyclopedias, dictionaries, all kinds of non-fiction research books, much to my amazement and delight. Even kids who aren’t crazy about reading will pore over a Guinness Book of World Records. So pick one up and see how it goes. We also subscribe to a few kids’ magazines, and those have a lot of “curb appeal,” too.)

Steve and my mom both read “The Botany of Desire” and enjoyed it. We’re all big fans of Michael Pollan over here. I’ve gotten halfway through “Botany of Desire” on three separate occasions now. Who knows what my problem is — it’s a great book, I just can’t jump over that fence or something. So when I saw the DVD on the shelf at the library, I grabbed it.

Steve and the kids and I watched it in half-hour segments — first the apple, then the tulip, marijuana and then the all-mighty potato. Really excellent documentary. And yes, I’ll finish the book this summer.

If you have reluctant readers such as myself at your house, it might be helpful to pick up the DVD versions of a book, or if you can find an audiobook version, that helps, too. Whatever it takes to get us engaged.

(Please see my disclosure statement.)

Happy Thursday, everyone!

— wm

Now reading:

Riddle me this, Batman… why didn’t I review Julie Buxbaum’s “The Opposite of Love” when it came out in 2008? Hmm. Who knows. I read it, really enjoyed it, and refused to pass it along to friends. Selfish, selfish girl.

Emily Haxby, an almost-thirty-year-old lawyer in Manhattan, does not know why, but she cannot commit. Her ma is dead, her big-dog politico dad (“This is Lieutenant Governor Haxby”) is… a handful. And her Grandpa Jack is not doing well. But she won’t admit it. And then there’s Andrew, her ex. “I broke up with him, remember.” Mason, her sexy co-worker. And her boss, who likes to, uh, show off.

Great book, good summer read, and I hear it’s been optioned for a movie.

Buxbaum’s new novel, “After You,” is as good as her first, but it’s a different sort of read. Ellie Lerner flies from the Boston suburbs where she lives a quiet, not entirely happy life with her husband, to London, to care for her best friend Lucy’s child (and husband, perhaps?) after Lucy is murdered on a quiet Thursday morning as she walked her daughter to school from their Notting Hill home.

It’s not a murder mystery, but it turns out Lucy did have her mysteries. And what is Ellie running from? Or to? I especially liked the character of the little girl, Sophie, who becomes selectively mute after the tragedy. The scenes with Ellie, where they read “The Secret Garden” together, are poignant. Really good book.

In the middle of these two books, I started re-reading Toni Morrison’s “Song of Solomon” for the tenth time or so. I first read it when I was in college, just a few years after its release. This book has always had a hold on me. The quirky, elusive Ruth; the mystery that is Macon Dead; his son, Milkman, aka Macon Dead Jr.

They slid into a booth and ordered Scotch and water. Milkman drank his quickly and ordered another before asking Guitar, “How come they call me Milkman?”
“How the fuck would I know? That’s your name, ain’t it?”
“My name is Macon Dead.”
“You drag me all the way over here to tell me your name?”
“I need to know it.”

But Hagar… I think it was Hagar who got to me first. Hagar, “spinning into a bright blue place,” a place “where everything was frozen except for an occasional burst of fire inside her chest that crackled away until she ran out into the streets to find Milkman Dead.”

Shivers, every time. I love “Jazz,” too, it’s second on my list for my top favorite Toni Morrison novels. “Beloved,” “The Bluest Eye,” and the others, all good, but “Song of Solomon” is mine, mine, mine. I’m reading the Everyman’s Library edition this time around, with an introduction by Reynolds Price.

(Please see disclaimer, y’all.)

On the coffee table:

So. So, so, so… Happy Father’s Day, Hockey God. In honor of the occasion, and his mother visiting, he cleaned the entire house and is at this moment doing the grocery shopping. Oh my God, I really am the worst wife, and he really is the best son, father, husband. I did buy the wine, and… cleaned a bathroom? And then bought more wine and Steve went to the farmers market. Good enough!

I review books here, occasionally, you may have noticed. Some I buy, some we get from the library, some are sent to me by publicists. I’ve just started Mark Edmundson’s “The Fine Wisdom and Perfect Teachings of the Kings of Rock and Roll (a memoir).” It’s funny, and I think Steve will like it. (HarperCollins Publishers.) Ditto “Heart of a Shepherd,” by Rosanne Parry. (Random House, 2009, $15.99, 161 pages.) Just started it, it’s really good, yes I’m in the middle of four other books and doing a reading sprint. I first met Rosanne because she was volunteering at my old school! The students loved her.

She’s a good girl, good writer and a lot of fun. Give her a read. No, she didn’t pay me to say that, and I bought her book because I like supporting writers.

Brad Meltzer’s “Heroes for My Son” (Forty-four Steps, Inc., HarperCollins, 2010, 111 pages, $19.99) is a moving, inspirational book that he compiled for his two sons. (One for his daughter is on the way.) I skipped Jefferson, Washington, and Bush One (sorry), but was especially moved by the entries on Roberto Clemente, Gandhi, Mr. Rogers, Mother Teresa, and Meltzer’s mom and granddad, Teri Meltzer & Ben Rubin.

“If you have a chance to accomplish something that will make things better for people coming behind you and you don’t do that, you are wasting your time on this Earth.” — Roberto Clemente

Happy Father’s Day, guys.

And… here’s the disclaimer.