Not in Portland — on my blog. heh heh heh heh.

I am feeling EXTRA HOLIDAY CHEERFUL cuz I just looked at the nativity scene Beth’s kid made out of Legos and the angel her other kid made out of tinfoil and kleenex. Some kids, you put ’em in a 3rd world country and they just thrive. Also, she’s crazeee and made the snow fly all over her blog when you call it up.

Hmm.

I have not so much creativity over here.

Also, “dinner” is a “problem” again. No appetite, thus I don’t feel like cooking. I’ve had no appetite for something like four or five months. Oddly, not losing weight. (Yes, I’ve gone to the doctor, nothing is wrong. Other than I’m “kooky.”)

A parent stopped by the blog and traumatized me the other day and now I don’t feel like writing. I think it’s someone I know, in person. I think we’ve been at a party together. Fucking don’t traumatize me on my own blog. Fucking pick up the phone and call me or send an e if you’ve got an “issue” with me.

Apology ensued but left me a little baffled.

It’s grade school, it’s not Harvard.

Here’s a joke a kid told me yesterday: “You know why 6 was scared of 7? CUZ 7 8 9! HAHAHAHAHA!”

This is what kids worry about: Is the joke funny or not?

Adults could learn a little something here.

Ho.

wm

Have a good week, wouldja?

xxox

wm

Hello, my lovelies, how is your weekend? It is sunny and bright and out of sight over here. Wacky Girl, her best friend, Miss Honey Butt’s Daughter, and my husband and partner for life are all at piano lessons. That sounds like I’m talking about 5 people but really I’m just talking about 3, although they have so much enthusiasm and energy for life that it’s pretty much like dealing with 5 people not just 3. Or as Planet Nomad would say, “This sentence is too long so I’ll start over.”

I’m doing laundry.

Nothing but a cocktail party on the street over here, just sayin’.

We figured out what we’re doing for the holidays! Well, for part of the holidays, anyway. The Xmas part. Miss Honey Butt and family are coming over, along with my mommy, sister, brother-in-law and hopefully no dogs or additional cats. And now, since I seem to be stuck in the ’80s…

Dr. Peter Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.

— “Ghost Busters” (1984)

xxox

wm

SUCH a good video.

Sorry I do not have anything pithy and light to share, any recipes to give you, any sex tips to pass along. Oh, wait. Yes I do.

If you’re getting enough sleep, you might be in the mood to be a bettah lovah. Just sayin’. Also, do a quick check of the bedroom: Laundry all over? Bed unmade? No candles in sight? A kid or two between the sheets? No, no, no, and double no.

Let’s be careful out there, ‘k? Here’s another video…

love,

wm

And yes, I do have the worst taste in videos! Thanks for noticing!

xo

watching the Simpsons with my husband, eating chocolate covered cherries and drinking a glass of wine.

the holiday season has fully begun.

have a peaceful week.

wm

that’s all.

wm

Only we don’t eat turkey over here. Still, we’re grateful. I’m grateful for bacon, cuz that clam chowder I had for dinner last night was so good. My son is grateful for pigs. Live pigs. He has requested that I give up bacon. And his sister has requested that we buy them a Wii or Nintendo DS.

Wouldn’t hold my breath on any of that.

And dear readers, I am grateful for you, for America’s new president, for my new job, that I love so much. It is a cool thing to finally, after years of searching, find the right career. And it was there in the library, in the stacks, right under my nose, this whole time. (I needed to look between Cormier, Robert, and Creech, Sharon. Between DiTerlizzi, Tony, and Draper, Sharon. It just took me awhile to get there.)

I’m grateful for Hockey God, who is the yang to my yin, every day without fail. I’m grateful to my kids, who are funny and kooky and remind me of what’s important. (“We are. Over here. Don’t pay attention to anything else. Give us chocolate.”)

I’m thankful for the Nekkid Neighbors, cuz if it’s wasn’t for their love of gadgets, pots and pans, I wouldn’t be cooking Suzanne’s Crockpot Stuffing right now. (If you haven’t already, go sign up for a Book Club or two.)

I’m thankful for Suzanne, and all my Internet buddies. And I’m especially thankful for all my “real-time” buddies. This year will be better. It has to be. I just know it, that’s why.

Have a great weekend, y’all. We’re going to eat root vegetable soup with greens, stuffing with vegetarian herb gravy, TWO KINDS of cranberry sauce (in honor of my Mom’s family, who can never agree on a damn thing), pumpkin pies and real whipped cream, and brownies.

I wish you and yours all the best.

xxox

wm

With our two kids, ages 6 & almost-from-hell, you really really really you just have to believe me on this one really do not want to tell them in advance when they’re getting shots.

Why?

Because they will jump out of the car when it is going 60 miles an hour just to avoid that shot. (more…)

Helloooooooooooooo, Book Lovers!

You know I’m happiest when I’m reading books or writing about books or checking books out to kids or buying books for my own kids. Or checking books out for my own kids. Or, alternately, checking books out for myself. Or buying myself cookbooks and then not cooking anything from them. (more…)