Dear Wacky Mommy:

Baffled in PDX

Dear Baffled:

What it means, my friend, is you are an idiot, because school had a two-hour late opening today and you didn’t know. Loser. Yeah, that was us this morning. Funny thing is, we were on time for only the second time this week. Kinda neat, huh? Actually, really neat, because it meant that instead of heading to reading groups, we headed to Sohbet Coffeehouse. I’m having some peppermint tea, and homemade granola with honey and fresh apples. I already had a cappucino, and the kids had hot cocoa.

And… Hockey God’s with us. A rare Friday sighting of my husband. He’d planned to do a troubador kinda thing with Wacky Boy’s pre-k class — playing the guitar for the little tykes as they strolled from class to class, wearing their paper reindeer antlers and jingling bells, singing (you knew it) “Jingle Bells.” (Not the “Batman Smells” version, either.)

But no morning pre-k because of late opening. Funny thing about Portland — anytime there might be a storm, or actually is a storm, or someone remembers one time there was a storm — the town pretty much shuts down. An inch of snow? Leave work early. Lots of rain? Call in sick. Portland is slacker-happy this way.

Thus it is a gorgeous sunny morning here in North Portland, yet we have late school opening. The west side did get hit pretty hard by the winds, I heard. But the Portland School District has a kind of all for one/one for all attitude and doesn’t close schools individually.

Some of our more famous storms: Columbus Day Storm, way back in 1962 — Zoot, there’s a map on there for you; and the various ice storms of the 1970s (We “cooked” Jell-o outside on the back steps! We pulled the sled to Fred Meyer to do the shopping! Then Fred Meyer lost power and we had to leave!) There was the “Big One” in 1995; the flooding in 1996, etc.

It’s not too bad in this part of the world, despite the erratic, moody climate.

My least favorite thing about living here is when climbers get lost. When families get lost. When skiers ski off-course. There are three climbers lost on Mt. Hood right now — they’ve been missing since Sunday. So send those good thoughts out this way, please. Sometimes it’s not just sunshine and drinking hot cocoa, waiting for school to open.

xxox

WM

The kids gave their gifts to their teachers today — Christmas ornaments, chocolate bars, holiday cards and a poem by Wacky Girl. (Keeping everything simple and within the budget this year.) For this week’s Thursday Thirteen…

THIRTEEN GREAT GIFTS TO GIVE A TEACHER

1. Volunteer in class when you can.

2. Gift certificates — to restaurants, a gourmet grocery store, a bookstore, an office supply place.

3. If you have time, go into the school when you pick up your child and ask if they need help cleaning the classroom — recycle old papers, wipe down the desks, push in the chairs, sharpen the pencils, sort out work to go home with the kids.

4. Buy them a CD player for the class if they need one. Or beanbag chairs. Or bookshelves. Teachers spend way too much of their own money outfitting their classrooms and buying supplies for students.

5. Small gifts are fine — kids’ drawings, cards or letters, poems. Even a thank you note will do. An assortment of teabags, a pound or two of coffee. Homemade or storebought cookies, mints, cheese and crackers.

6. Jewelry. My daughter came home from kindergarten saying, “Some of the kids bought the teacher jewelry for Christmas!” It was from the Dollar Store, but who cares? (If you can afford better, go for it.)

7. Neck wraps — I have a lavender-scented one I love. Heat it in the microwave for two minutes and neckache is gone. Teachers (the ones I’ve known, anyway) seem to internalize most of their stress.

8. Journals, blank notecards, fancy pens.

9. A homemade meal — something easy to transport, that you can leave with them at the end of day. Maybe a casserole with a loaf of bread, a bottle of wine, and dessert. No time to cook? Costco meals are much appreciated, too. (I’m thinking of my neighbors right now — new parents, teachers, the mail carrier — everyone likes a meal that they didn’t have to fix.)

10. A gift certificate for a massage, manicure or pedicure.

11. Fruit baskets — small or large.

12. DVDs, music CDs, books, magazines. Or better yet — subscriptions to magazines.

13. Anything, really, as long as you’ve put a little thought into it.

Honestly? It’s the thought that counts. When I saw my daughter’s teacher reading her poem to himself (she drew little pictures in the margins, it’s totally sweet), then asking her, “You wrote this? Did it take you long?” I don’t know who was happier — him, her or me. My daughter’s kindergarten teacher showed me the best present she got at the end of the school year — a little Matchbox car that one of the kids gave her. (He saw the other kids had brought in gifts, and didn’t want to overlook her.) Now that is a present.

“Witchi Tai To gim-mie rah/
Whoa ron-nee ka/
Whoa ron-nee ka/
Hey-ney hey-ney no wah/

Water spirit feelings/
Springin’ round my head/
Makes me feel glad/
That I’m not dead”

— Jim Pepper (peyote chant set to music)

Pepper’s not dead, not really. He’s here every time I listen to his music.

You guys, everyone out there in the blogger world — peace, happy New Year, and much love. I know that a lot of us get depressed and crazy this time of year. Just keep going.

And thanks for reading my blog. De-lurk, would you please? Heh heh heh.

WM

Courtesy of Wendy Johnson, chef and culinary instructor; our friend Zip; and yesterday’s FOODday………

“North African spices are a great way to perk up winter vegetables. In fact, seasonings are the main event in this Moroccan Vegetable Stew, laced with chiles, saffron, ginger, cumin and cinnamon, and served over hot couscous. Eggplant and fennel are nice additions, but if you don’t have all the vegetables called for, you can make a fine stew just from carrots, potatoes and tomatoes, plus the nutty-flavored garbanzo beans (S&W brand has good flavor).

Harissa, a paste of chiles and garlic used in North African food, gives this dish an extra punch. Any leftover harissa keeps well as a spicy condiment for soups, stir fries or tofu and plain brown rice.

Serve this stew with naan, a type of Indian flatbread available at New Seasons, Trader Joe’s, Indian grocery stores, and supermarkets well-stocked with international foods. Check the bakery aisle as well as the freezer section (look for heat-and-eat versions), and bring it to the table hot from the oven.”

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“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.”

–Ingrid Bergman

A word to the wise: When you make Mexican Wedding Cakes with margarine (because it’s all you have in the fridge) instead of butter and substitute half whole wheat flour for the white flour… Well. While they are vegan made this way, they just are not as yummy. Which is a good thing, now that I think of it. Those little cakes have ninety calories apiece! just thought I’d share that baking/dieting tip with you.

Looking for some real cooky recipes? Go check out Jenn’s Virtual Cookie Exchange. (Thanks, Amalah, for the tip.) Also an excellent way to check out a bunch of new blogs, if you’re in the market.

Now, gimme a cooky. We’ve baked chocolate chip cookies so far, the aforementioned Mexican Wedding Cakes, Peanut Butter Blossoms, and will make some fudge this weekend. And that is it. I mean it, Internet. I’m not putting on more pounds this season — I’ve lost twenty and they’ve been staying off, in spite of cookies. (Trick is to give them all away as soon as they’ve cooled, and not accept any from friends. Cookies, I mean. Not pounds. Damn, I wish there was a way to do that with pounds…)

Love,

WM

We’ve had some issues with homework lately. Delays, stalls, kvetching, rinse and repeat.

Yesterday I came up with the brilliant idea of letting the kids watch “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” on tape — but only after Wacky Girl had finished all of her homework. (Wacky Boy does not have homework until kindergarten, thank God.)

Ha! So this meant having her younger, pesky brother parked at the table with her, drawing self-portraits with markers (his “homework”) and asking her approximately every minute and a half, “Are you done with your homework yet?”

Hey, why should I be the only bad cop around here?

Really Nekkid, as in Newborn. The Wacky Nekkid Neighbors had their tiny (ha!) baby girl (nine pounds, two ounces; ed. to say make that THREE ounces) a little after two this afternoon, Monday, Dec. 11th, Two Thousand and Six. She was born Butt-Nekkid. She is born under the sign of Sagittarius, in the Year of the Dog. They named her Little Miss Patootie-Butt, Princess of Nekkidville, which I think is a grand name.

Wacky Girl plans to buy her a cowgirl suit. Wacky Boy will teach her to play marbles as soon as she is old enough.

Congratulations, and good job, mama.

If you’re trying to remember the planet names, you’ll remember them if you can remember this:

My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nachos.

M: Mercury

V: Venus

E: Earth

M: Mars

J: Jupiter

S: Saturn

U: Uranus

N: Neptune

That’s it! Oh, and my friend P is very mad that Pluto is no longer a planet. He is mad at the scientists. Our teacher told us that they call Pluto a “dwarf planet” because it’s so small. P thinks that it should still be a planet. I think it’s OK.

WG

From George Bernard Shaw:

“This is the true joy of life: the being used up for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clot of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.”

Yeah, that’s me alright — a regular force of nature. And this may be all you’re getting from me this week…

Book of the week: I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being A Woman by Nora Ephron. She is a funny, funny, funny lady. Sorry, I could never hope to be even one-tenth as funny as she is, so I will not try.

Christmas pageants are a lot of work, it turns out. If I was into pharmaceuticals I’d be taking a Valium right now.

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