“Hold me and hold me and hold me…”
our daughter, at age 2

“I just made Love Potion #9. It’s pink.”
our son, at age 6

“For truly it is to be noted, that children’s plays are not sports, and should be deemed as their most serious actions.” — Michel de Montaigne, essayist (1533-1592)

You know my blog? This one? What the heck kind of blog is this, anyway? It’s Wacky Mommy, but it’s not always 1) Wacky or 2) about parenting. Especially now that the kids can read. They started exerting editorial control some time back. And I’ve never been one for the cutesy stories.

“Are you telling someone another cute story about me?”
— my son, bellowing at me at a party this weekend, making the other guests laugh, stomping off

No laughing allowed, and I do try to respect this. I do understand this. I used to be a kid, too.

“Little girls are cute and small only to adults. To one another they are not cute. They are life-sized.”
— Margaret Atwood, Cat’s Eye

I don’t write about Oh. My. GOD! I love Portland so much! There are some things I like about Portland, and Oregon (my mom and sister live here. I like my job. My husband likes his job. There are no ginormous bugs, tornadoes, hurricanes or floods here. We do have volcanoes, which is kind of insane, when you think about it. So I don’t.) There are many, many things I hate about Portland. There are some things I like about PDX.

I don’t really like to travel, or write about it. My travel posts usually go like this.

I think everyone is a bigger “Blog Star” than I am, and sometimes I get intimidated and don’t post because of this. I don’t have a lot of commenters (how do you spell that?) (and you know who you are, Usual Suspects, and thanks for leaving comments! I love comments!) but I have a lot of readers? This makes no sense to me. I’m all, damn. Say hello, would you?

I love writing book reviews, and I do review parenting books fairly often, even though no one ever answers my number one question, which is:

“Am I messing this up?”

I love “chick lit,” and cookbooks, and the classics, and pretty much anything Felicia and Suzanne send my way. (Just started this one. It’s good.) I’m not always the most inspired, when it comes to cooking. My kids hate my cooking. My husband tolerates my cooking. (Go see Lelo if you want the total foodie blog.)

I am heading toward being more of a book reviewer/librarian/domestic life blogger.

I am upset about the decline of newspapers and at the exact moment I am helping that decline along. Sure, anytime! No problem! Eh. Newspapers have had this attitude forever, this Old Boys’ Network b.s. that I have always hated. So-and-so’s brother will get in trouble if we write about this, or we need to write about this because it’s the editor’s sister’s business, and she needs the press, blah blah.

Happy hour? OK, be right back…

A-ha! La Bete Pinot Gris, cheese, crackers, grapes, and green olives stuffed with almonds. Perfect.

Shall I continue? OK.

Blogs are fucking with the Old Boys’ Network and to that I say, Hear, hear. Because many of us are not old boys, and it turns out we have brains and can write. And photograph. And do art. And let our opinions be known.

Who the fuck knew? I’m not giving them links, because they are pigs, but Bob Packwood? Neil Goldschmidt? The Oregonian knew the dirt on those guys, but they were networked in and were protected. That is bullshit. Why protect them?

Johns who hurt prostitutes? Child predators? We would have had a lot more information a lot sooner if blogs had been around Back Then.

B.B.: Before Blogs.

No, I’m not saying that blogs are the panacea to the woes of the world, but if you have someone who is being held and tortured, and that person can somehow get word out, and get that on a blog, that is an amazing thing. If you have a social justice program that is working, and it’s working on a shoestring, and you want to promote it and maybe find some funding, the Internet and the blogs are a good way to go.

So. On the one hand, I’m sorry that newspapers are hurting. (Craigslist. Advertisers who are finding they can buy space for cheaper on Thee Internet. Online publications. Wikipedia. Everyone and his dog with a website. Etc.) On the other hand? Maybe they should try a little harder to find something to blog about, to write about, something, anything, loosen up, MOVE ME. And maybe they should leave their brothers and the Old Boys out of it.

They just might like it.