Pillow Talk, in Regards to Our Children Someday Becoming Teenagers
Hockey God, on his high school years: “I stayed out ’til 3 a.m. at a party, and after that my dad gave me a curfew of midnight. Which I thought was ridiculous, because the bars didn’t close until 2.”
me: “You were in high school.”
Hockey God: “Yeah, but the drinking age in Iowa was 19 then. And the third set didn’t start until 11 or 11:30. You wouldn’t want to leave midway through the third set. And all the good college parties were just getting going at midnight.”
me: “My mom tried to set boundaries the end of my senior year — she told me my boyfriend couldn’t stay the night anymore. But by then he’d been sleeping over for a couple of years. So we just started staying the night at his house.”
Hockey God: “See? You wouldn’t have been happy with a midnight curfew, either.”
Our daughter and son will be teenagers in five and eight years, respectively. You know what I’m guessing — they won’t want to leave midway through the third set, either.
, 
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Yikes! We were just panicking about this recently. My folks’ rule: “call us in the morning, early, and tell us where you are.” is that scary, or what? They said they trusted me not to do anything dumb. I THINK that their trust kept me straight, or at least not terribly bendy! It never occurred to me how hard that must have been for them till Chas started wanting to go and hang out with his buddies for the weekend (he is just 10). I said with all the bravery I could muster, “hey, you have a cellphone for the weekend, just call me if you want to talk, feel uncomfortable, whatever. (I know the Mommy, they aren’t maniacs!) You’re a smart boy, I trust you.” When I think of all the trouble I almost got into…! Sean also had a free reign, so I don’t think we would know how to be really strict with our teens. We will have to cross that bridge when we come to it!
March 2nd, 2008 | #
Frightening, but I’m coming to believe they’re better off getting it out of their system in high school. That way, they don’t become an 18-year undergraduate. (Like…ahem…yours truly.)
March 2nd, 2008 | #
A ray of hope: teenagers turn into twenty-year-olds (my daughters are 20 &23). Twenty-year-old are quite fun {Oh, what she’s leaving unspoken!;)}
From my vantage point loving them, praying for them and keeping the line of communication open are the most important things.
But, you do need to decide on boundaries and present a united front.
March 2nd, 2008 | #
I just hope Arch and I make it to three. Today, when Mommy got a flat tire in downtown, the cafe had no napkins and Arch had a fountain for a nose, when it took us 7 minutes to walk one block, when my voice is hoarse from saying watch out, don’t climb that, don’t eat that, sharp, hot, dog poop, do you have poop, I’m really hoping we both make it to three.
March 2nd, 2008 | #
I have a teenager and two on the way. I must tell you that there are certain things that I forget to tell her, we call them “Gray Areas” which are items like, 1. If you are invited to a sleep over and there are male teenage cousins of the friend staying over as well; these are things I need to know about. or 2. If you are going to a movie with friends and you ask me to pick you up cuz the other mother is giving you a ride, I may, may be a little alarmed if half of the crowd is boys and I do not know this, and 3. If you go to a friends house after school and I pick you up and find that there has been NO supervision and a group of kids is there; this I may want to know BEFORE hand.
Gray Areas. Things that we have not necessarily gone over prior, but when they happen Mommy is alarmed.
I expect many, many more coming up soon.
March 3rd, 2008 | #
recovering straight girl: Number 1 & 2 scare me so very much.
Um, yeah. I have a daughter and we’re colored so what looks like “allowing kids to spread their wings” when certain families do it, is termed straight up neglect when colored folks do it.
For instance, when Portland Police decided to enforce curfews last spring break, the only parents given court summons and asked to take a parenting class were black single mothers. My guess is that theirs weren’t the only kids catching spring fever.
consequently, I continue to be the system that is keeping my lovely from freedom. Freedom apparently only exists at the Lloyd Center Mall.
March 3rd, 2008 | #
BlackFriend, there is no freedom at Lloyd Center, either. The security guards hassle kids there all the time, I have heard, especially if they’re non-white.
March 3rd, 2008 | #
Okay, I know what I was doing was a teenager. I don’t know how you all are handling it. At first, when I read the comments, I thought, oh well, boys at the movie theater, and then I thought, OH MY GOD BOYS! And then I thought, wait, I’m not a teenager. And then I thought oh dear lord, what am I going to do?
March 4th, 2008 | #
the surly teenager would disagree. QUOTE: “when I was at the mall(when she was supposed to be at practice), I was FREE. I wasn’t ______’s daughter, I was just me . . . .”
I told her that she is free to roam Clackamas Town Center without a parent on the premises. Because I am sure she will be watched. As though she were on SuperNanny.
March 4th, 2008 | #