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Am Extremely Busy

November 3rd, 2005

Am writing lovely fluffy freelance article about lovely fluffy place. Will be paid Real Money. Am thrilled. Am also working on third draft (3rd) of my novel. It will sell someday, I must keep believing this. Cuz with the bronchitis, and the unexplainable female hormone craziness (perimenopause? WTF?) the crazy children, and the damp, moldy, wet, disgusting Oregon weather that STAYS LIKE THIS FOR CLOSE TO TEN (10) MONTHS OUT OF THE YEAR JESUS GOD WHY DO WE LIVE IN THIS RAINBELT?

OK, if I didn’t believe that someday my book will sell, I would be crying myself to sleep nights instead of writing and reading and watching way too much awesome cable television. Fancy cable goes bye-bye next Wednesday. After that it’s just basic. School board meetings and Winterhawk Games. No more Brady Bunch. No more Munsters. No more Judging Amy re-runs that, frankly, are starting to irritate me. Other than the guy who plays Amy’s sexy-tortured brother, Dan Futterman. He plays a writer on the show and guess what? He happens to be a writer in real life! Who knew? He wrote the “Capote” screenplay, the movie that was just released, starring Phillip Seymour Alexander Hamilton Hoffmann Johnson Yeah I’ve Got Too Many Flipping Names.

I have not seen this movie. Am Extremely Busy, as I’ve already stated. Although I did find time last night to go to the Alibi, my favorite tiki bar, with Extremely Wacky (and pregnant) Mommy L (People? She makes me seem reserved. It’s astounding) and Work-Crazy Wacky Mommy E, who, who knew? showed up at the school function L and I were attending. The chances of this coming together of Mommy Forces was pretty random and cool. So we had drinks after. Except for L, who groused instead, just for something a little different, and had some virgin (HA! she wishes…) pina colada thingy. So fun. Also, we left before Cauterwauling L (not my L, another L) got up to sing karaoke.

Yes, she slept with my ex-boyfriend, this Cauterwauling Thinking-She-Can-Sing L, (he was my boyfriend at the time, dammit, you tramp) waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in 1989. While I was in New York. Nice! Also, he told me she was lesbian, “Don’t worry, baby!” Which I guess she is. One of those lesbians who sleeps with the boyfriends of women who are in New York for a week. Special exceptions were made, I guess.

Also am editing Wacky Mommy L’s third (yes, 3rd) novel. (A third “L,” by the way, in this already “L”-heavy entry. She is neither Pregnant L nor Cauterwauling L. Just to clear up these muddied waters.) Whereas I have published zero (0) novels, she has published 3. In addition to raising 4 kids and having 1 military husband, who’s always playing soccer or going to soccer games or thinking about soccer, or taking one of their kids to soccer, when he’s not off saving the world or working full-time at his extremely demanding civilian job.

Also, she’s thin and pretty, Writing Wacky Mommy L. Also she eats an insane amount of chocolate, yet never gains weight?

Some mommies — if they weren’t so intelligent and sweet and bringing you chocolate all the time and thanking you, by name, in their many published novels, well, you wouldn’t know what to do with them, would you now? I love this one so much. I am looking forward to being Wacky Grandmothers with her someday.

Also, she’d never sleep with my husband. Or my boyfriend.

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