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The Stabber

January 7th, 2006

There are three new kids in Wacky Girl’s class this week, bringing the total to 29 kids and one stressed-out teacher. Let’s call the new ones The Crier, The Stabber, and Violet Beauregarde, and I got to know them all up close and personal when I volunteered yesterday. Yes, The Crier can’t stop crying, and no amount of comforting will help her. Hand her tissues, and she flings them around and grabs more out of the box. Tell her to try taking a few deep breaths and she sobs, “I can’t! I can’t!” and cries harder. The other kids look at her like, “WTF?” and keep on with their lessons.

Violet? Violet just wants to eat the candy she brought for lunch. “After you eat your lunch,” I say. “No,” she says, “I’m just going to eat my candy! I don’t have to eat my lunch!” She holds the chocolate bar aloft and squishes it. “I have more, too, see!” She holds up another piece.

The Stabber, he likes scissors. He likes them so much he cuts his palm, and his finger, too. On purpose. Then he requests a paper towel and fixates on the blood.

Aren’t you glad you don’t go to our school? For real, mommies and daddies, what can I do? Is it OK to hold Violet’s candy hostage and force her to eat lunch? And WTF, indeed! Since when do schools allow candy at lunch? Wacky Girl’s little friend was over today (she goes to school across town), and she said, “You can’t bring candy to school at all at our school. Only on holidays.”

Must talk with principal about instituting similar rule. As for The Stabber, I told WG to steer clear of him, especially if he’s packing sharp objects.


  1. HH says

    Okay, I’m humbled by the problems your daughter is encountering in school. Kind of makes the exclusive
    happy little world my daughter has created not sound so bad. And even outside of her one best friend only true friend syndrome there is no crying, no stabbing, and no candy for lunch. I mean kids may bring it, but that’s not all their eating. As far as I know. Good luck to you and good luck to her. You guys are troopers.

    January 8th, 2006 | #

  2. HH says

    I meant “they’re” eating. Maybe I should start previewing these comments. Anyway…

    January 9th, 2006 | #

  3. Zipdodah says

    I would definitely let the teacher know about the behavior patterns of the 3 Amigos. Maybe the teacher could send a warning note home, letting the parents know that this behavior will not be tolerated. If it continues, there will be consequences. Your daughter, and the rest of her class deserve to have the safest learning environment possible. I also think it’s a great idea about not having candy, sweets, etc. My oldest daughter’s school had the rule about no candy. There were designated days that sweets could be consumed. Such as birthdays, holdiays, etc. All had to be pre-approved due to food allergies etc. At this age, your daughter and classmates should be having fun learning, and just being kids!

    January 9th, 2006 | #

  4. Heather says

    I think what you’ve got here are two cases of “bratty/teary-martyr” behavior paying off in the past in lots of attention, and one truly disturbed little boy who needs help. The crier, I’ve seen it a thousand times, just ignor the wailing and the wailing, she will cease. You will feel like a real heartless witch but honestly, she is just doing it for the pay-off in attention. The brat, also seen it before, it is as easy as telling her you will take the candy away and she will never see it again if she does not put it away right now. She will throw a big ol’ fit, but it will go away. The problem is, she probably either has an absolute pushover for a parent, or worse, one who is an even bigger brat, so you are probably in for a bumpy ride with that one. The cutter, my heart goes out to, scary behavior not withstanding. Cutting is a stress relieving compulsion for some people. I’ve never heard of it in one so young but if you google “cutting” and “cutters” you will find more info than you ever wanted to know. The little guy needs therapy and plenty of it. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was some abuse situation somewhere, but not necessarily.

    At least you don’t have a poop smearer! I had one in my daycare and five years later I am still not over it…

    January 9th, 2006 | #

  5. emma says

    Hi. I’m new here, looking at all your old stuff. Ignore the Crier, she’ll get over it. The Stabber needs some special attention. Violet’s candy is not your problem; all the decisions about what she eats have been made. By someone else, not you. If her parents give you any grief, you might explain this to them [well, make it seem like they thought of it] and ask them not to send the stuff to school with her. If they continue to send the stuff, as I said, the decision is theirs, not yours.

    February 4th, 2006 | #

  6. Wacky Mommy says

    Crier — poor Crier is not getting over it, unfortunately. It’s gotten a lot worse. All of the kids are shunning her, except Violet, who is sorta settling in. Crier makes up fibs and tries to get the other kids in trouble, but they are united and strong. Also? She is “going with” the Stabber.

    Hello??? They are in first grade. Dear Lord. She says, “He says he broke up with me, but really he’s still in love with me.” No joke. Followed by, “He broke up with me, but I broke up with him first.”

    Candy — have totally given up on candy issue. Am not looking forward to Valentine’s party. Will bring two bags of goldfish crackers in lieu of cupcakes.

    Funny you should say that about the Stabber — you are so right. I worked with him most of the day yesterday when I volunteered and does he ever blossom with attention! He didn’t have any colored markers (more than half of the kids at our school are poverty level, so school supplies are always an issue). But I found some in the cupboard for him, wrote his name on the box and the room number and told him, “This is your classroom. This is our classroom. These belong to you now, and you belong here in our classroom, got it? With us.” He smiled so big. Then he asked me, “You’re her mom?” and pointed to Wacky Girl. I was like, “Dude, who did you think I was?” He says, “I dunno. A substitute, I guess.” The Stabber: My New Best Friend.

    February 4th, 2006 | #

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