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Friday Advice Column for Wacky Mothers & Others

February 24th, 2006

Dear Wacky Mommy:

Question: How do we encourage our daughter in her artwork without making her more conceited?

Signed,

Mother of Three

Dear Ma:

Start selling her art. Frame it, display it, set up a lemonade/art stand, do it over the web, mail it to relatives with an invoice attached, whatever. This puts her smack dab into the commerce side of art and away from the “Aren’t you a genius!!!! What a gift you have! Too bad none of the rest of you are talented!”

Oh wait — that’s my family. (Honestly — my grandma once showed me a photo my cousin took — a great picture, she’s a fabulous photographer — and kind of murmured to herself, “She is my only talented grandchild.” THERE ARE EIGHT OF US, ALL SPECIAL, DAMMIT! I THINK I SHOW A LITTLE ARTISTIC TALENT! OK, enough about me.)

Then if it doesn’t sell, tell her about Van Gogh, to comfort her. (Only leave out the story about his ear and the hooker.) I mean, the man only sold one painting in his lifetime! What, were people blind? Yadda yadda. Then she can go to the Misunderstood Artist portion of the evening. Ego can be a good thing, especially if she’s nearing those early teen years, when girls start being told they’re not good at math, science, make-up, weight loss, etc.

Love,

WM

Dear Wacky Mommy,

What to do for wanderlust that is actually quite painful sometimes?
And there is not money or circumstances to make this something that can be acted on quickly enough (i.e. NOW). Circumstances include y�know children in school. I know, I know�plan, plan, plan, right? What pearls of wisdom do you have for this little state of mind?

Signed,
Heartstrings Being Pulled off this Continent

Dear Heart,

There is an almost sad yearning that comes along with true wanderlust. A longing for no rain, perhaps? For the air to be a little cleaner. Crisper. For the colors to be sharper, brighter. I know what you mean. What part of the world are you thinking of? Like Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?, Where in the World are Your Heartstrings Pulling You? Make it so. But realize, it may not be all you think it’s going to be. For instance…

We took the kids to Canada a couple years ago — the snow! The skating! The dinosaur bones! Alberta — we went to Banff. I completely adore Banff. The skiing! The drinking! The handsome men! The beautiful women! The food! Yeah, the food. That’s right — as soon as they delivered our breakfast to the table, whoops, Wacky Boy puked all over.

In fact, he threw up every morning we were there. Was fine the rest of the day — no fever, no bad butt, no additional pukage. But it was jarring, obviously. Duh. Obviously.

Did we ski? No. (Losers! Frickin’ losers! But I didn’t want to deal with a pukin’ kid on the bus and besides, he was too young to ski at the time.) And the sexy singles? I’m married, remember? Turns out once you’re married you can’t date any more. Who knew? And the boozing it up? Not so fun taking care of two little ones if you’re frickin’ hungover. Again. So much for hanging out in the bars with the sexy Europeans. “Are we skiing Jasper tomorrow, or Sunshine?” Dammit, I really used to enjoy dating. The whole thing where the guy laughs at your jokes just so he can get some? And you don’t have to do his laundry? Or labor three days with his large-headed baby? Sorry, I’m completely off track here.

MY POINT IS: Sometimes, even if you get out of the country things are still the same as if you’re at home. The puking. The dirty laundry. The not being able to date.

(Wacky Dee — I love you, stud. You’re the best date I’ve ever had.) But how to deal with the yearning — which is, to me, the bigger problem. (Cuz you can save for Hawaii, you can get a sitter and go for a ski trip alone with your husband.) The kids and I had a great idea a couple of years ago — WB and I picked up Wacky Girl at school. I had the car packed, the room reserved, and off we went to the beach, without their dad. We called him from the road and told him we were going. He got the night off, we had a little impromptu vacation.

Another time, WG asked, “What are we doing this afternoon?????” in the way that only an extremely bored five-year-old can. Wacky Dee asked her, “If you could do anything, right now, what would you do?”

“Go to the beach.”

“Go pack. And pack for your brother, too.”

She packed in about four minutes flat, it was funny as hell. Off we all went that time. I don’t know what’s nearest to you, but kids love it all, don’t they?

Have some splendid adventures. And if it’s not in the budget right now, put up some Caribbean wallpaper on your monitor, get some Lonely Planet or Rick Steves travel books, and start dreaming.

Love,

WM

PS — WM is not opposed to pulling the kids out of school to travel. They can blog about it for school or do a report or something. Right?

4 Comments

  1. HH says

    Dear Wacky Mommy,

    What to do for wanderlust that is actually quite painful sometimes?
    And there is not money or circumstances to make this something that can be acted on quickly enough (i.e. NOW). Circumstances include y’know children in school. I know, I know…plan, plan, plan, right? What pearls of wisdom do you have for this little state of mind?

    Signed,
    Heartstrings Being Pulled off this Continent

    February 24th, 2006 | #

  2. Wacky Mommy says

    See today’s advice column — I added your question.

    February 24th, 2006 | #

  3. travelin' mom says

    Heartstrings, I think you should plan and save. Who knows; it might happen sooner than you think. Do research, start getting shots, atart getting the kids psyched, etc. (Like maybe you could give up some family treat, like renting movies once a week, and put the money in a jar for your big vacation. The kids (depending on age) could get stoked on this) As for the kids, all that stuff about travel being broadening is actually true. I think it’s really good for kids to see more of the world, meet people with (gasp!) other viewpoints, etc. Also, we still have that wonderful holdover from when our society was agricultural–the long summer vacation. I know (believe me I know) prices are higher then, and also places more “touristy”, but it’s better than being miserable! I think travel is awesome! Come visit me…I’m in Africa :) I wish you luck and hope you’re soon a travelin’ mom too.
    And wackymommy, you wanna talk about losers? We spent an entire school year in the French Alps (not far from Turin, Italy!) without skiing even once! But we were so broke, the dollar was weak and the euro strong, and we had no equipment, no car, etc. At least I am qualified to talk about the coffee, the pastries, the cafes, the wine, etc, so it wasn’t a complete loss :)
    PS HEY YOU NORTHWESTERNERS–Quit knocking the rain! I miss it so much.

    February 26th, 2006 | #

  4. Wacky Mommy says

    It didn’t rain yesterday! I worked in the yard all afternoon. Ahhhhh… too early to plant, though. Still frosty here.

    February 26th, 2006 | #

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