Four babies, or possibly only three, two angry bird parents: We’re being held hostage over here by four or five robins.

I have a pretty good routine down for the yard, in the summertime. Take my coffee with me, drink it. Scoop up dog crap (usually not too bad, if you do this task daily. Skip a day? You’re screwed. Especially if you have a 100-pound black lab like we do). (Edited to say: Just got back from the vet. Dog is a svelte 84 pounds! Waaaaaaaaaaay to go, Fat Boy! You’re worth every nickel of the $235 I just spent on you. Oh, wait. No you’re not.)

Go inside, wash hands, check on kids (late sleeper slackers — it’s 10 after 8 right now and not a peep) (Edited to say: Slacker Spawn slept til 9 a.m. And no we don’t keep them up late at night, are you mad???), grab laundry. Hang out laundry on line. Sometimes a second load. Or a third, like today. It’s Zen-like, really. All that clean wet stuff. We planted peas at one end of the laundry lines, and they’ve wrapped around the twine all the way to the top. It’s pretty. Especially next to Hockey God’s gear hanging on the line overnight to air out. Heh heh. “Price of a laundry line: Four bucks. Airing out your gear: Priceless.”

Hockey God waters for me, too, which cuts my time in half. Awesome! Usually I’ve watered half the garden, in between hanging out laundry. I alternate — flowers, shrubs and trees one day; vegetables and berries the next. Hanging baskets pretty much need to be watered daily. Hot, hot days I have to hit it all, which takes forever. Next, I scribble a note on pad in kitchen: INSTALL DRIP LINES BEFORE NEXT SUMMER. Then I misplace note and forget.

Today, Mama Robin is divebombing my head, so I’m hiding inside for a minute, hoping she’ll fly off to steal whatever’s left of Wacky Nekkid Neighbor’s strawberries. Testy, testy, that bird. So that side of the yard is being neglected for now. Also? Cannot use our patio door, cuz she freaks out. Also? The bird droppings are ugly. And no, the deck hasn’t been sealed yet. God. Damn. It. When will these babies fly? I love how ugly they are.

Have a superfine Thursday, everyone.