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The Community Chest

August 16th, 2006

re: The Community Garden at our school. People, it is not enough to merely plant the garden, you must harvest it, too.

Also, tomatoes need to be staked.

Also, sunflowers? Pretty and all, but they suck. I mean suck. All. The. Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife out of the soil, sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp… yep, there it goes. Nutrients, water, compost — vanished. So don’t be planting ten sunflowers in with lettuce, herbs, cabbages, all hippie-happy, “Oh! How I love to garden! It’s so fun and easy!” and what-have-you and expecting anything to grow except the sunflowers. They will eat the garden, believe me.

Then they will say, “I look so beautiful, don’t I? I deserved it all.” They’re vain that way.

That’s all I have to say about any of that.

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