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Joy, Rosie & Erica Kane Take on Elisabeth With an “S”

October 9th, 2006

More like with a vengeance… Damn. Do you watch The View? Yeah, me neither. Because why? Because when Star was on there, and Meredith, they were all getting a little grouchy with each other. And if I wanted that, I’d turn off the tube and go spend time with my family.

However. I was watching Desperate Housewives on tape, and after it was over I flipped on The View. And there were Rosie O’Donnell, Susan Lucci and Joy Behar completely taking down Elisabeth Hasselback, miss prim little Republican Dennis Miller fan. (Dennis Miller, who thinks global warming isn’t a problem. Dennis Miller, who is pro-war, yet oddly isn’t over there on the frontlines. Dennis Miller, who Elisabeth drooled over when he was on the show. She so was yearning to blow him…) I’m paraphrasing from today’s show, but here goes…

Rosie’s take on it: The whole war is built on lies. Close to 3,000 Americans have already died in the war. End the war now. (Thank you, Rosie.) (A conservative estimate on Iraq Body Count, as of today, of how many Iraqis have died: 43,850. Number could be as high as 48,693.)

Susan Lucci’s take: The world powers — not just Americans, not just the Republicans and Democrats — all need to talk about making the whole world a better, safer place, protecting our kids, looking out for each other. (Thank you, Erica.)

And Joy’s take: Everybody in the whole world is sick of the U.S. and our bullshit tactics, end the war. And by the way? What if something really does go wrong? If we’re in danger, or need to help someone? And we can’t do anything then, cuz we have no resources, no people-power. (Which made me think of Katrina, which still makes me bawl my eyes out because can we please get some help where we need it? Instead of killing parents, children, grandparents, community members, both domestically and abroad? Please. So Joy? Thank you, too.)

Elisabeth: You are being unpatriotic and disrespectful of our soldiers and yadda-yadda…

Joy: (smackdown) Talks about her relatives who were in WWII, her opposition to Vietnam, her husband being in the National Guard, and basically told Elisabeth, Don’t give me that bullshit.

Rosie: I support our troops by saying end the war and bring them all home now.

Elisabeth: keeps trying to talk and they won’t let her. She starts, stops, starts, gives up. (Give up, Elisabeth. Say to yourself, Maybe I need to rethink this whole thing. Or go enlist. Leave your baby and your husband. See how scary this bullshit war truly is, and how completely NEEDLESS. We need everyone here, at home. Having dinner with their families, re-grouping, loving on their kids, their husbands, wives, parents, friends.)

Audience: Ignores Elisabeth and claps like mad and gives STANDING OVATION.

Thank you? Thank you! Is there a chance the U.S. will stop bombing the shit out of everyone, in my lifetime? In my children’s lifetime? We have been at war since I was two months pregnant with my son. He is now nearly five.

Is there a chance, in his lifetime, that schools will be properly funded AND WARS WON’T BE so the parents, staff and community members can all stop the bitchy, fucked-up in-fighting and we can focus on what we’re there for? The kids. The kids are not getting their needs met. They are not getting the medical services they need, the attention they need. (For those of you who don’t have kids in school — say there’s a little bit of a pot of money, for art, for music, for extra books — you all dive on it and pull each other’s hair out to get it. Rich v. poor, white v. non-white, parents who volunteer v. parents who don’t, stay-at-homes v. working-outside-the-homes… It. Never. Ends.)

Could we get New Orleans rebuilt?

New York?

Feed the people who are starving to death in this supposedly free country of ours?

Could we provide mental health services to people who need them?

Work on cures for cancer, and AIDS? And…

Get medications to those who need them, instead of charging them outrageous amounts for them?

Subsidize safe, decent, dependable childcare?

Love each other? I want all that. I want a lot more than that, but this would be a start.



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