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May 8th, 2007

I forgot about work. Working-outside-of-the-home work. I work — I write; I get paid little or nothing for it. (Note to self: Put up PayPal button in hopes that people will donate to the cause. The cause being: Me and My Entertaining Self.) I watch the kids; I get paid in lovebucks. I am married; because of this I am well-shod, like a prize horse. He has also been known, my husband, to take me for dinner and a night on the town.

But a real job? Where you fill out paperwork and a W-4, and have to call your husband about how many deductions to claim (because when I work, we lose money. What with daycare, and taxes, and the cost of gas, etc. etc. ad nauseum) and it’s all a little baffling? That kind of work I haven’t done in three years. Yes, that’s right — he also had to do a Google map search for me so I could figure out where I was going. (Thanks, hon.)

Even though this is an employer I have worked for before, and I know where the building is. I actually had to go to two buildings, located ten minutes apart. I knew where both buildings were. I just spaced. Oh, please, like that never happens to you? I needed my husband to hold my (virtual) hand and walk me through this. Pathetic!

I cannot give you many details about my job or workplace, because in the words of the almighty Dooce: “Be ye not so stupid.” And don’t get dooced, fer Chrissake. I will tell you the following, and I will tell you in bullets:

* Someone nice is watching after the kids.

* There is a Baja Fresh by my work and I got a salad from there on the way home.

* I am now at home, after a hard day spent watching HIPAA videos, signing my name and writing my birthdate on numerous documents, and saying “Hello” to everyone. “Are you here to help?” someone asked me. “No, hinder,” I said, and winked at her. (The smart-alecky part of me needs to stay home while the rest of me goes to work.)

* It is a full-time, temporary job. It may lead to something. It may not.

* There is a sign in the bathroom at work that says, “Please flush the toilet after each use. Thank you.”

I may xerox this sign, on company time, and bring home two copies to post in my own bathrooms. Thank you.


  1. Himself says

    Love the sign in the bathroom. Where I work (a software factory), I want to put a sign on the door that says “Wash your hands before returning to work; you are handling somebody’s code!”

    I’m amazed how many well-educated humans grow to adulthood without mastering basic hygiene.

    Welcome back to the working world, WackyMommy, and maybe you’ll have to change the blog name to WackyWorkerBee?

    May 8th, 2007 | #

  2. Worker Mommy says

    Ah cool, now you’re Worker Mommy too – well sorta of. WackyWorkerMommy has a nice ring to it.
    Welcome back to the workforce. Now all you need is a private office were you can blog all day! That will take
    away some of the sting of not being able to work from home.

    May 8th, 2007 | #

  3. LIB says

    Good luck on the new job!

    A joke for you:
    Who’s there?
    Can’t tell ya.

    May 8th, 2007 | #

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