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School’s (Almost) Out!!!!!!!! Thirteen Goodbyes

June 13th, 2007

I’m definitely in the mood for Thursday Thirteen this week. Oh. Man. Has it been a looooooong school year or is it just me? I thought we had one of the shortest school years in the nation? Oh, all those Wednesdays and Thursdays off, I guess they mean. They add up.

Yesterday wasn’t the last day of school for my kids (who are now proud to be kindergarten and third grade students-in-waiting), but it sure felt like it. It was field day! Water balloons, dumping buckets of water on each other, the long dash, the frisbee toss… fun.

13. Goodbye, Bruno. I hope over the summer you learn to stop stabbing yourself with scissors. I also kinda hope you try out a different school. One where they have more counselors?

12. Goodbye, school cafeteria, and your chicken fingers, Hip Dipper Chicken Pieces, chicken nuggets and chicken patties. (All chicken, breaded and baked, just in different shapes.) Cluck!

11. Goodbye, Penelope, who snatched a popsicle from Boris yesterday at field day, threw it, then yelled, “Boris! Stop it! He’s throwing things!” and made him cry. Goodbye, Penelope. I hope your dad wins the custody war because he lives on the other side of town.

10. Goodbye, career. See you later. Much.

9. Goodbye, Rose Festival. We’ll see the fruit of your loins come March, when we find out how successfully the sailors’ seeds swam. Goodbye, too, to the crew who ripped up all the tape from the people who were “saving” seats on the sidewalk for the Grand Floral Parade. Thank you! Come back next year. I love bloggers, I totally, completely do. Those tapers, and lawnchair-on-the-sidewalk-leavers? Not bloggers. Bloggers, on the other hand, were able to mobilize quickly for this covert (ha!) action. Thanks, Mercury newspaper and Randy Leonard, for lighting the fire. The whole escapade made me love Rose Festival all over again. And I have not been a Rose Festival fan in a real long time.

8. Goodbye, PTA wenches. I’ll see you at the pool. I’ll have my sunglasses on, and a jug of vodka lemonade.

7. Goodbye, water fountains at school that don’t work, kids who are always lousy, teachers who are tired and need several weeks’ sleep. Call a plumber, get some Rid, and please, take a nap. See you in September!

6. Goodbye, Miranda, who never, ever invites us to her parties but always has to make sure we know she’s having one. “We’re having a party! For end of school. This weekend. We already invited everyone!” You’re not getting an invite over here anytime soon. When your cellphone doesn’t ring, little cutie, it’ll be us that’s not calling. Have fun at your really, really, really fun party!

5. Goodbye, overplanted, abundant school garden that nobody waters, weeds or harvests because SCHOOL IS OUT! I’M NOT WEEDING THAT THING! SCHOOL IS OUT!!! WOOO-HOOOOOO, so Miss Pinchy and Miss Mavis down the street can walk by with their rheumy-eyed poodles, harrumphing about all the waste in today’s world, and how some people like to throw away tax money but certainly not them. Goodbye, bolting lettuce. And goodbye, come August, all you tomatoes. You would have made some nice sauce.

4. Goodbye, rain. Soon it will be nothing but sun.

3. Goodbye, Wacky Nekkid Neighbors, who always leave for the summer. I’m not watering your yard or picking up your mail or bringing in your newspaper. Because you never bring us any treats is why.

2. Goodbye, anyone I’ve forgotten.

1. Goodbye, bad attitude. No, I mean it! Only rainbows, kittens and sunshine from here on out.




  1. dew says

    Poor little Bruno! I wonder how he got that way? SO SAD. I hope Miranda gets the lice over the summer!

    June 13th, 2007 | #

  2. Jenny says

    I would love to be sharing that lemonade with you by the pool, we can commiserate about power hungry room mothers and PTO moms who love their roles.
    Great idea for a post, can I include the three chicks in my son’s 8th grade class that invited 3/4 of the class a dj party at the community center…..you really hit on the meanness of kids, whininess of teachers and all that is a pain about school. Enjoy your summer.

    June 13th, 2007 | #

  3. TeaMouse says

    That is too funny! You enjoy your lemonade!

    June 13th, 2007 | #

  4. Audrey - Pinks & Blues says

    Oh now that is a great post! Perhaps you need something stronger in the lemonade!? :)

    June 13th, 2007 | #

  5. Michelle M Pillow says

    We’re already enjoying our summer. I love not getting up early, lol

    June 13th, 2007 | #

  6. Raven Paranormal Blog says

    Great list!

    June 13th, 2007 | #

  7. mitchypoo says

    Too funny! Enjoy your summer! Happy TT and thanks for stopping by!

    June 13th, 2007 | #

  8. Erin the Innocent says

    mmmmm Vodka and Lemonade

    June 13th, 2007 | #

  9. Starrlight says

    Wasn’t the Tearing of the Tape drama awesome?!?!? I as so tickled the Rose Fest crack heads had to deal with lines like everyone else =)

    June 14th, 2007 | #

  10. Sharpie says

    Thank you. That was MUCH needed!

    June 14th, 2007 | #

  11. Crazy Working Mom says

    Horray for summer!!
    Great list. Hope you have a LONG, fun summer. :)

    June 14th, 2007 | #

  12. pussreboots says

    Happy summer and TT.

    June 14th, 2007 | #

  13. edj says

    Hope to join you poolside for some lemonade! We’re coming back in August.

    June 15th, 2007 | #

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