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Pu-Pu Platters for All!

October 29th, 2007

I got a real shocker when I picked up the kids from school today.

“Dad says you’re supposed to feed us dinner, so we can carve pumpkins when he gets home!”

What? I mean, what? I need to play chef? For the Kids Who Refuse to Eat? I’ve turned into Cher in “Mermaids,” when she serves the kids cocktail weiners, aka “pigs in a blanket,” and fruit kebabs.

We are now eating a pu-pu platter of goat cheese, crackers (the healthy kind — Wheatettes!), dried cranberries and cashews. By “we” I mean “I am” because the kids aren’t touching any of it.

Let’s play a game, it’s called, what will your 8-year-old daughter and 5-year-old son eat, Wacky Mommy? Have they gotten over that whole Picky Eater thing?

Q: Vegetables?
A: No. Except french fries. And not all french fries, just the crinkly kind. No, the shoestring kind. I think. Who knows. They won’t eat home fries, sweet potato fries, anything that doesn’t “look” like a french fry.

Q: Vegetables with ranch dip?
A: Nope.

Q: Fruit?
A: Yes. But only pears, apples, oranges, raspberries (Wacky Girl); pears, raspberries (Wacky Boy). Wacky Girl: “I kinda like strawberries. And watermelon. Kinda.”

Q: Cheese?
A: Mostly, especially if it’s combined with macaroni or melted on top of pizza.

Q: Meat?
A: They do not care for meat. Any meat. Wacky Boy occasionally likes a Dino Nugget from Costco.

Q: Hot dogs? Hamburgers? Weiner wraps? Chili dogs? Sloppy Joes? Meat or veggie ones?
A: They will say no.

Q: Desserts?
A: All desserts are accepted. Desserts, however, are not regularly offered, due to the lack of eating Real Food.

Q: How about tater tots? All kids like tater tots!
A: Not mine. Once in awhile my daughter will eat a baked potato, and she likes cornbread, and spaghetti. (No meat sauce, no meatballs.)

Q: Is it a bitch, trying to cook for them?
A: Nope. I used to sweat it, now I just roll with it. Vegetables and fruits: Offered (and refused). Bean burritos, tacos, nachos: Offered (and refused). Mashed potatoes? My daughter will sometimes eat mashed potatoes. Wacky Boy could live on cereal bars, toast, and vanilla yogurt. Que sera, sera.

They’ll eat when they’re hungry.


  1. Steve says

    We’re having tator tots for dinner?!? I’m coming home soon, sweetie!!

    October 29th, 2007 | #

  2. Mallory says

    Its awesome that you are so cool with it. I am really lucky in that my kids eat anything but meat, but when I had a daycare I encountered many a picky kid, and it drove me nuts. It is hard not to take it personally.

    October 30th, 2007 | #

  3. slouching mom says

    This is EXACTLY the way things are at my house. But I’m not nearly as laid back about it as you are. Sigh.

    October 30th, 2007 | #

  4. WackyMommy says

    Slouching Mom,
    I would say I am possibly semi-relaxed about things now. I finally got sick of being a short-order cook.

    October 30th, 2007 | #

  5. nan says

    What about nuts? Max will eat nuts, and bananas. I figure our close simian relatives get big and strong on that diet, so why not us? I like to get an egg into my kids too, they are so full of good stuff. And you can hide them in stuff.

    October 30th, 2007 | #

  6. FREEAF says

    Ah, so I am not alone. Our son lived off Brown Cow blueberry yogurt for a year! I no longer stress, when he is hungry enough he eats. But our daughter, watch out ’cause she will eat the plate too!

    October 30th, 2007 | #

  7. Qanzas says

    Weren’t you picky at that age? I know I was. Poor Mom and Dad, only bologna and cheese, pepperoni pizza, toast without butter, and cookies were acceptable by me. Now I eat everything except for a scant few particulars. (Celery, peas, kippers and anchovies are a no go. Everything else under the sun is fair game.) They’ll grow out of it. Also, I can’t believe your son likes vanilla yogurt! That’s cool.

    October 30th, 2007 | #

  8. Sharpie says

    I have given up being head chef at that shitty restaurant! I now serve as I please and the kicker…You don’t finish what’s on your plate – you don’t go to your activities for that day. No carrots – no karate. Do they like it? No. Do I force them to eat something I know will make them gag? No. But, they do end up eating most everything on their plate. Might be worth a try….

    October 31st, 2007 | #

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