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two more weeks ’til Christmas break, and monday advice column: should i wean my baby?

December 10th, 2007

And that’s about all I have to say. This has not been the easiest autumn at Wacky House. But I did survive a field trip here. It turned out to be a blast. Get it — rocks? TNT? Ha.

I’m writing fiction today, so no big posts.

Let’s be careful out there.

I do have one question for the advice column. And no, this should not be substituted for “real” medical advice, this column. A disclaimer: I am no expert.

Dear Wacky Mommy:
I am taking sh*t for “extended” nursing. He’s fifteen months old. WTF? I have a hard time telling people that it’s none of their business. Also, his dad is already saying what a hard time I will have with weaning. Why is everybody so effing concerned with my tits and not my son’s health and well being?

Signed,
Help

Dear Help:
Your tits are no one’s business but yours and your son’s. Unless you’re trying to get pregnant again (breastfeeding does not always prevent pregnancy, we know this, ladies. But it does seem to have a correlation with decreased fertility), unless you’re taking drugs or drink that your child should not be ingesting, unless you’re using nursing as a way to avoid sex — oh, wait, I think I’m OK with that one — then nurse away.

I nursed my daughter ’til age 2, and only quit when I got pregnant. (And only then, it was because I was having some bleeding and the nursing seemed to make it worse. History of miscarriage and all.) I nursed my son until 18 months, and only quit then because he was too busy chasing after his sister to want to sit down and nurse.

That was when the hormones plummeted. I got a little bit of post-partum depression, but counseling, meds, vitamins and calcium helped. (Fuck you, Tom Cruise, BTW. You have no idea what it’s like to go through PPD.)

Weaning was not an issue at my house, because in both cases we were ready to quit at the same time.

Milk has been know to stick around, just in case you or your baby have a change of heart. Enough water and nursing gets it going again.

A lot of women nurse their kids until they’re 2, 3 or 4 — they’re just not talking about it because they’re made to feel ashamed and dirty. Your partner is a lactation consultant? What? I mean, he thinks he’s more of an expert on boobs than you are? He doesn’t even have any.

Don’t feel dirty — you’re not. You’re comforting your baby.

Get a T-shirt printed that says, “I make milk. What’s your superpower?” and tell people that your tits are not up for discussion.

Bon appetit to your little guy.

Love,
WM

6 Comments

  1. nan says

    3 or 4 years? Here in Trinidad, I am a breastfeeding counselor and lecture teens on the importance of breastfeeding. I often ask “anyone here remember breastfeeding?” and a few hands go up. These kids were breastfed till they were 5 or 6, sometimes longer! When all the babies around are dying from gastroenteritis, some moms never want to quit. Breastfeeding offers continued protection against diseases beyond 2 years, and many benefits to brain, body and spirit! (and just THINK of all that festive food you’re gonna eat this month… Let Junior remove those calories and get himself fatter. It looks much cuter on him!)

    December 10th, 2007 | #

  2. Vixen says

    Well Nan now has me wishing I could nurse a kiddo so they could take all my calories!

    December 10th, 2007 | #

  3. Anne says

    It amazes me how unbelievable callous, rude, and wrong people can be about nursing. There have been lots of indoctrination in this culture (3 generations worth) against breastfeeding.
    Here are some other thoughts to counter those doubts. It is great that you came here for support. Good for you for nursing your baby. Good for you for listening to your inner wisdom, for respecting yourself and your baby. Just wondering, how does the baby’s dad know what weaning will be like?
    You may want to find the study that shows how a baby’s IQ goes up in relation to how long they nurse. Or you may just want to ignore them and listen to Wacky Mommy and any of your friends who support your choice to nurse.

    December 10th, 2007 | #

  4. wacky cousin says

    Thank you, everybody! I am not going to wean just because his dad is an idiot. In fact, if the IQ thing is right, that’s a reason to keep on nursing.

    If his nursing was enough to negate my cake eating habits, I’d nurse forever. Sadly, I like cake more than he likes nursing. But it’s a close race.

    December 11th, 2007 | #

  5. Doris says

    Wow! Nothing like breastfeeding to get a lurker talking. I support everything you all are saying and would just like to add my 2 cents. I nursed my kids till they were just shy of 3 (because I got pregnant again) and to exactly age 4. One of the lovely things about nursing older kids is you can actually talk/reason/negotiate about it. And it is very sweet when they are older and have actual memories of nursing. As all who’ve done it can attest, nursing a 2, 3, 4 year old is very different from nursing a 6 month old. It’s also a great management tool. And weaning happens when it happens- gradually, easily, naturally- if you just let it. Just like toilet-training and sleeping in their own beds). None of them is still doing it at their bar mitzvah!

    However, those burned calories always seemed like a myth to me. Yeah, you burn more, but you also tend to eat a side of ox to compensate. from the ravenous hunger…

    December 11th, 2007 | #

  6. Dawn says

    I had a friend who said it was like “taking fat off your thighs and shootin’ it out through your titties”

    Apparently I have a lotta fat ….

    December 12th, 2007 | #

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