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QOTD, Rain & Hormones

March 21st, 2008

“Sweep first before your own door before you sweep the doorsteps of your neighbors.”
— Swedish proverb

I think we can all learn a little something from that quote, don’t you? It’s raining here. It won’t stop until July. Stupid Portland, Oregon, why do I love and hate you in equal portions?

Internets, my kids are getting older. They’re not really liking my spilling my guts to the Internets. This poses a problem because… I blog. I stress, therefore I blog. Also it clears my head. Also you guys always are supportive and have good ideas, or at least offer to crack heads for me. Or bring me some crack. Or at least commit to getting up at the crack of dawn to see if I’ve posted.

That goes a long way with me.

People I attend meetings with, in real life, are not willing to go so far. They are willing to insult my knitting, though. Who would insult someone’s knitting, for pete’s sake? I knit nicely. It’s pretty, my knitting. Do not be rude, you meeting people. You could try bringing me candy, and saying, “Nice scarf!” and “Wow, you teach kids to knit every week? And the customers and owners of the Naked Sheep Knit Shop donate a ton of stuff to the kids? Fantastic! That is so cool of them! Can I learn, too?”

It’s a nice fantasy world, up there in my head. Some people have been really sweet about my knitting classes. Almost everyone, in fact. Just the handful that were rude stand out. I will now shove their comments out the door, sweep them off my steps, and be done with them. I will only remember the people who said, “Excellent work.”

The glow of working outside the home has worn off, by the by. I do not care for meetings so much, it turns out. And yes, Lelo, I’ve turned into a “Meeting Knitter.” Because I can, that’s why. Also, I ate the Girl Scout cookies I was saving for you. (See: Stress, meetings, parenthood, weather, above.) I’ll bake something for you to make up for it. It had to be done, my apologies.

Also, I do not have to worry about getting dooced here because, contrary to public opinion, I AM NOT GETTING PAID. Maybe someday.

So… let’s say someone at your house has started getting insanely hormonal and random, and let’s say that for a change, that someone is not me. (Not that I’m calm and non-hormonal, oh no, I’m just not as hormonal as someone else here is.)

The advice I was given was:

“Hormones are normal and they get worse then better, then worse, then better. This goes on for several years, like 20. I suggest that you start drinking heavily now or abusing prescription drugs like Xanax, Valium, Ativan, or the like. Painkillers work well, and especially work well mixed with alcohol–but DON’T mix them with alcohol AND any of the aforementioned drugs and anti-depressants or you could end up like Heath Ledger.

Just sayin’.”

Can you top that? I don’t think so, but please try, anyway. Ativan makes me puke, but I will consider the other combos. JUST KIDDING in case my mom is reading this.

Happy Friday to y’all.


  1. Recovering Straight Girl says

    I’m up and reading, do I get baked goods too? I have never seen your knitting, but I have seen my own crochet and I can tell you one thing–anything is better than my crochet so I’m sure that your knitting is beau-ti-ful. I think the advice you got was stellar, what brilliant person dispensed it?????

    March 21st, 2008 | #

  2. Vixen says

    Agree with RSG, stellar advise (is it possible it was dispensed by the brilliant RSG herself?). I have no advice as I have no memory of how I survived the first she-child and the last she-child is in the throws of “gets worse” and I am unsure if she will be allowed to reach 17.

    March 21st, 2008 | #

  3. LIB says

    YOU’RE NOT GETTING PAID!!???!! Whahappend?

    I, too, think that’s stellar advice. To it I’d add: give lots & lots of love. Even when it’s met with eye-rolls, on some level it’ll be appreciated.

    You might need to dig deep to find lovin’ feelings, but it’ll be worth it in the long run.

    Although you don’t want to live in the past–escaping there briefly might help with the lovin’ feelings. Now’s the time to scrapbook baby pictures, have slide shows and so forth.

    We’re pullin’ for ya girl!

    March 21st, 2008 | #

  4. Lelo says

    I would have done the same thing with those cookies, so it’s best you did instead! As for becoming a meeting knitter, just as long as it’s not a fun social meeting knitter. That just freaks me the &^#&# out.

    March 21st, 2008 | #

  5. WackyMommy says

    Lelo, I’d be all, “This is fun girls, but I’d rather be home watching re-runs of Matlock” while I’m knitting compulsively.

    March 21st, 2008 | #

  6. nan says

    When I was pregnant with Max, I prayed: “lord, give me a girl this time!”. When my friends’ girls turned adolescent, I prayed: “Thank you! THANK YOU! For not answering my prayers!” I was a horrible adolescent. I remember it well. How my mother let me live is a mystery!

    March 23rd, 2008 | #

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