Excellent Blog
2007 Inspiring Blog
Rockin' Girl Blogger

Happy early anniversary, Hockey God. Welcome to my brain and how it works.

August 22nd, 2008

I have this problem. For me, it’s a small problem. For my husband, dear, sweet, understanding Hockey God, it’s a big, big, big, huge, frickin’ out-of-control problem. It’s all over the table, floor, stacked up in a rack next to the china cabinet.

It takes up a ton of room in the recycling bin and is heavy.

It makes his brain hurt when we talk about it, when I won’t pay attention to him at the table, because I’m absorbed in the obituaries, the recipes, the People column.

Newspapers. I have a pretty serious newspaper addiction going here.

A-hem. A few of his frequent comments go like this:

“Why don’t you read it online?”
“You know you can read it online.”
“Can I recycle these? All of these? No? Why not?
“Really. Why the hell not?”
“Can we cancel our subscription? I mean, permanently?”

Yargh, the pressure, I cannot take it.

I like a newspaper. I like the heft of it. The thud when they throw it on the front porch. The slick ads. The metro section. The metro brieflys, about horrible, random things happening to random people (who are usually not horrible. But sometimes I suppose they are. Like when a drug dealer’s house burns down because his gro-lights got too hot. I’m supposed to feel bad about that? If he had little kids, I’d feel bad for them. But usually child welfare has already nabbed them. Or when two guys are drunk in a bar and beat each other up, then crash their trucks into each other in the parking lot and get arrested, and their girlfriends won’t bail them out. Hmm…).

I digress.

How will I know about these horrible, random things if I quit my subscription?

Then one day it occurred to me: Why do I want to know about horrible random things? It’s enough to give you a headache. Why give yourself a headache on purpose? That happens enough on accident, no?

Then one other day it occurred to me: This is the only reason I keep my subscription to the Oregonian. That’s right.

Don’t judge me, you. I never claimed to be all fancy-schmancy over here.

For Better or Worse is a good reason to stay married (ten years for us next month!) (and happy 25th to my younger-than-ever girlfriend L and her youthful groom, by the way). But subscribing to the paper just so you can read For Better or Worse? Not reason enough to pay out the money.

Subscription now canceled.

My daughter will miss the funnies but y’know? She can read all of them online.

I’ll get her a free subscription.


  1. Vixen says

    I decided to save trees a few years ago. Get a yahoo page and make it your home page. Go down to the cartoon part of the page and add For Better Or Worse (its the only one on mine). You will get is served up to when as soon as you log on in the morning.

    August 22nd, 2008 | #

  2. The Other Laura says

    Well, it’s a nice gift for Hockey God. As for me, I have to have a physical newspaper. I have to hear the rustle as I read – it’s a sensory experience.

    August 23rd, 2008 | #

  3. Amy says

    Noooooooooo! At my work (which shall remain nameless please), we have long discussions about FBOW, and we have come to the conclusion that April is a total skank. It’s one of the few pleasures we have left. Also, today in the Metro section you’re missing a great story about a woman who was recently caught entering nursing homes dressed as a nurses assistant and ripping the narcotic pain patches (fentanyl–“30 times stronger than heroin”) off elderly patient’s arms. You can’t make that stuff up. But I suppose you could read it online. . . :)

    August 23rd, 2008 | #

  4. mneloa says

    Oh! For Better or Worse is worth taking the Oregonian. And now I
    share the comics w/ my kid…I had thought of canceling, but, hey,
    he’s reading…

    August 29th, 2008 | #

  5. edj says

    :( I love the newspaper, and I miss it when I’m overseas. Reading online is NOT the same thing at all. Why don’t you just commit to recycling it every evening? I only read 3 sections, so I’d quickly recycle everything else, and then I would only rarely keep part of it for the next day.

    August 31st, 2008 | #

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.