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for real?

November 19th, 2008

My blog’s top 10 search keywords:


to? the? my? For real? Because it seems like if you typed those words in you’d come up with a whole lot more than just my blog.

I can’t tell you anything lately, Internets. It saddens me. Because I would like to regale you with tales of this and that and her and my and to and the, but I just can’t. And I think you can probably figure out why.

I have a job now.

My creativity is going in another direction at the moment and being stifled here at Wacky Mommy Headquarters.


I have to go now.



and now, a guest post from my daughter

November 16th, 2008

Today we had facials. Da-da-daaaaaaaaaaa. We did not go to church. Here are three books for you to read:


That’s all, just three books. Why do I like these? I say they’re good. Du-du-duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun.

(Edited with a note from her mother: I am looking forward to the new Pippi, with illustrations by one of our favorite artists and writers, Lauren Child. But the others? No, they are no good. That’s why I took them off my library shelves and discarded them all.)

I SAY THEY ARE GOOD. Cuz they are really good — the writing is nice and scary in Goosebumps. In Rotten School, it’s like… yeah. It’s really, like, um… I just like them. All kids do, actually. That’s all.

See you later,

Wacky Girl


November 15th, 2008

That does not fully express my pain over here. My pain at finally having a minute to blog for the first time this week and NOT BEING ABLE TO LOG IN because MY BLOG IS TOAST AT THE MOMENT.

I used to just reboot the server and all was well, we’d be up and running. Then a couple weeks ago received word from Hockey God, aka Master of My Domain, that went like this, “Jesus Christ,” (he always calls me that. It’s kinda weird), “I told you, do not reboot. You could take down the entire universe if you do that.” (My power, it astounds me.) “I told you that. I’ve told you that like four times. It will reboot automatically.”

Guess what? It hasn’t. And now all I’m getting is a note that says ERROR ESTABLISHING A DATABASE CONNECTION.


So you’re probably all out there thinking, Girlfriend has quit the blog. Or that I’m trapped under a large stack of books that fell from the shelves and crushed me, and I’ve Fallen And I Can’t Get Up.

Also, I have this song going on in my head, it’s so groovin’ and very ’80s, no? I hear the ’80s are “hip” again so hot damn, let’s break out the Firm!

I mean — look at that hair. Listen to Jimmy Page. Wow. What’s next? Dokken? Quiet Riot? I have no idea, I just like a catchy riff, don’t you?

All for now, until Steve wakes up. I’ve been awake since 5 a.m. It’s my new schedule, and will not adjust itself for the weekend. Whatever. I like the peace and quiet.

But not my inability to access my own frickin’ blog. That I can do without.

Rock on, Internets.



YAY, he fixed it. Thank you, thank you, we’re live.

The Monday Night Book Review: “Husband-Coached Childbirth,” “What Your Preschooler Needs to Know” and the “Twilight” series

November 10th, 2008

You know who is an amazing writer? Lois Duncan. And she just has never, ever, ever, gotten her proper respect, as far as this humble reviewer is concerned. More on that in a minute. First off — why am I reviewing in a hodgepodge today? Because it’s my blog, that’s why. No, because I promised books to a reader who is expecting, and before I hand them over, I must review. (more…)

show me the power, child

November 7th, 2008

Oh, Chris Cornell. Ouch. Too bad you had to leave your sexy-awesome wife and run off with… a French model? What? (I may be getting the story entirely wrong.) (I don’t think so, though.)

Note: Kim Thayil in background looking remarkably like Young Steve, circa 1989.

(Also, would kill to find copy of interview Ann Magnuson did with Soundgarden, “Sub Zep?” for Spin, February 1992. I believe this is the interview wherein she asked them, “Who would you kill if murder was legal?” and Kim Thayil got all huffy, Well, it’s not. “But what if it was?” Well, it’s NOT. “Sheesh, Ted Nugent wouldn’t have a problem with this one.” hahahahaha Ann Magnuson, you are funny, funny girl.)

(Why am I rambling? Why am I posting all this? Cuz you know I am feeling thoroughly, totally, completely outshined at the moment.)



ps my mom-in-law is in town. We will consume wine, celebrate Kim Thayil’s Hockey God’s birthday early and eat cranberry sauce. TTFN.

they are all crazy over here

November 5th, 2008

I was missing my family. My family I haven’t seen cuz I worked all day, then went to meetings, and just now got home.

I missed ’em right up until the point my son came at me with his Dad’s drill. His Dad’s drill that he found lying on the bench upstairs. Then his sister (who is 9, lest you have forgotten) said, “Put that fuckin’ thing down it’s a piece of shit.”

Internets, at that point I told them, all three of them, “I’m glad I didn’t see you guys all day because you all are crazy.”

In my day, if you found a drill lying around, you left it the hell alone because hello, you could hurt someone with that thing. Or they might make you do some remodeling or something and God knows, you didn’t need that, did you?

Also, if we had just gotten back from hunting, and my uncles, their buddies and my grandpa hadn’t had a chance to clean their guns, and the guns were scattered all over the kitchen floor (What? Well, where the hell do you keep your guns?)… here is what you did:

You stepped over the guns.

You did not pick them up, see? You stepped over them. Leave the drills alone, leave the guns alone, keep passing the open windows, it’s not that hard.

Here’s a story I told my kids the other night, about their great-grandpa, who died 11 years ago this week (my mom’s daddy):

When he wanted to get a kid’s attention, he would ask this question:

“‘What say we tell your folks about this?’ Well, no, he didn’t think that was such a good idea. Then I’d say, Son, I have a gun. You might’ve gotten shot. You wouldn’t have liked that, would you?” And he’d say, No sir, I guess I wouldn’t.”

(My kids: “He shot people?” Me: “Just to watch them die. NO, he didn’t shoot people. He just intimated that he would shoot them if they didn’t do what he wanted.” My kids: “Huh.”)

My grandpa was the rockingest dude. Just as long as you didn’t mess with him.

“Black is the new president, bitch”

November 4th, 2008

(Thank you, Tracy Morgan.)

(Congrats, Mr. Obama. We love you.)

“We are not as divided as our politics suggest. That we are one people, that we are one nation, and together, we will begin the next great chapter in the American story, with three words that will ring from coast to coast, from sea to shining sea: ‘Yes, we can.'”

— Barack Obama

“Clear Eyes! Full Hearts! Can’t Lose!”
— Friday Night Lights

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