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QOTD: Renard and No One Drowned, It’s OK!

September 27th, 2010

“Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.” — Jules Renard, author (1864-1910)

don’t i know it.

so, we attempted to enjoy a day at the beach yesterday. here’s the thing about the Oregon coast — it is what it is. times 100. so even when you know that it’s going to be blustery and cold, it’s still nice to take a not-too-long drive and get there, just for the sake of breathing the salt air. (from our new place, it’s 71.5 miles to the nearest beach — less than 2 hours by car, and I really do wish the trains still ran to the beach. i’ve heard tales and it sounds so good.)

all i wanted to do, with my one little measly day off, was walk on the beach (we brought our boots and raincoats), breathe in the good, wet air, have a bite of lunch somewhere, do a little window shopping at one of the chi-chi overpriced boutiques (seashell assortment, anyway? fudge? ice cream? Christmas ornaments shaped like ugly little elves?) then drive home.

but Hockey God and Hockey God Jr. had a different plan, namely, horse around in the ocean, get run over by a sneaker wave and almost die.

I like my plan better.

Also, this is where I really, really hate the whole “parenting together” thing. So when my son, soaking wet, sandy, exhilarated because they didn’t die, isn’t that great? told me, “Dad said you were going to punch him in the face for this…” well, OK. Let’s slow this down for a minute.

1) I’m glad they didn’t die and wow, that really is great, sweetheart. However…
2) If they hadn’t been reckless in the first place, this wouldn’t have cussin’ been an issue (see: a) don’t turn your back on the ocean b) stay out of the ocean pretty much Oct-April in Oregon and Washington c) why don’t you ever listen to me? You don’t see sneaker waves getting mommy, do you, now? d) aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargggggggggh)
3) they now have new sweatpants (thank you, overpriced gift shop!) and really awesome matching bright red sweatshirts and T-shirts. Hockey God’s says:

Cannon Beach
Established 1890
Search & Rescue
Mouth to Mouth Certified

(which is hilarious! because he’s not.)

Jr.’s says:

Cannon Beach Oregon
Beach Patrol
Save Yourself

That is more fitting somehow, no? Anyway, I don’t think I really should have rewarded them with a way to commemorate the whole cussin’ thing, but they were both nearly-drowned rats, I had to get them some warm stuff to wear. And no, I didn’t punch Hockey God in the face. On the one hand, I’m glad that he and the kids take some risks, live a little, blah blah blah. But there’s being adventuresome, and then there’s being unnecessarily reckless. I hugged my son, and told him, “You, I care about. Daddy, I don’t.”

My daughter: “Mom! That is not very nice!”
My husband: “You really are the meanest wife.” (looks worried.) “Are you going to punch me now?” (offers up his arm.) “Here! Punch me here! Just get it over with.”

I cried a little, then I calmed down and told my husband that if one of my kids (mine, not his, just mine. Cuz I’m the one who carried them for nine months, nursed them and kept them alive, they’re my babies til the day I die, mine, mine, mine) ends up harmed or worse because of his recklessness, then he had better go ahead and drown himself before he comes home. Cuz I can’t guarantee his safety.

That’s fair, isn’t it?

OK. Deep breaths.

— wm


  1. The Other Laura says

    Totally fair! I’m glad everyone is okay. (Keep breathing.)

    September 27th, 2010 | #

  2. Dan Hortsch says

    Wow. That is really, really scary. You were not exaggerating, obviously, in your FB post yesterday (under another FB name). That was way to close, clearly. Yes, your warning sounds fair. After yesterday, I suspect all will be more careful.

    The taking chances thing: We were glad to see a cautious grandson get a little bold at the coast — not in the water — in climbing up rip-rap. And a year ago, he was in a bit of water, but safely, with us near by, but in a way that was a little exciting to him (hard to describe; no actual danger), and that was good for him.

    What you faced, no, no, no. So glad that all are safe and you can breathe again, Nancy.

    The coast: Yes, normally it is a great break, even for a day, whatever the weather. But oh, those gift store prices. For some reason I bought a Pelican Pub hoody (by Cape Kiwanda/Pacific City) when there with family including grandsons. Definitely overpriced, but the mood moved me. We were having fun. (The Pelican is a family oriented place, with good beer.)

    Again, so glad that all are well. I don’t think he really thinks that you are the meanest wife.

    September 27th, 2010 | #

  3. LIB says

    Glad everyone is OK.

    Glad you can process things thru writing (and we get to benefit).

    I think, when enough time has elapsed, this will become a part of your Family History and you’ll like having those red T-shirts.

    September 29th, 2010 | #

  4. Winn says

    You should have punched him anyway. Men!
    I’m glad they’re okay. Did they at least learn to listen to you? And yes, they’re yours. Not his. Yours. I’m behind you all the way on that. (Unless they turn out bad and then they’re his. All his.)

    September 30th, 2010 | #

  5. E. says

    Something similar happened to our family when we visited the California coast years ago. Dad let us little girls wade around the rocks, an unexpected wave hit, and I ended up curled up in the hotel room with strained chest muscles. Mom was pretty annoyed with him.

    October 1st, 2010 | #

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