ok did you watch that? did you traumatize your children with it? it is scary!!! here is what is even scarier: being a teenager, living at home (really scary!), then your sister’s boyfriend says, Was it that scary music box music? when you mention you slept in the basement and had nightmares all night.

me: How did you know?

he just shook his head.

seriously. I never mentioned to anyone that i nightmared about music box music. know why? because it was always this vague, slippery horror, and as soon as I woke up, it just slid away and i would be thinking, What the hell was that? But he used to stay at our house all the time, and I always wondered why he stopped crashing in the basement and insisted on sleeping on the living room floor. It was that music.

too many nightmares.

“In matters of conscience the law of majority has no place.” — Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (1869-1948)

standing today in solidarity with my sisters and brothers in Wisconsin. All power to the people.

my son, smiling and patting my head, “Oh, mommy, look! You’ve got so much hair you could hide a whole family of munchkins in there.”

and what mama wouldn’t want that?

…don’t you I think I should stay up all night reading? then in the morning the kids can toast some Eggo waffles (which I always call Eggo Waffos by accident, because to my way of thinking, that just sounds right) and make instant hot cocoa? And i can sleep in!

who’s with me?

of course, it’s not that funny if we end up not having Snowpocalypse again and i have to work tomorrow, after having stayed up all night reading. (just joined a new book club it’s rilly rilly good, the reading list. and most of the titles on the list are FREE on my KINDLE and you know i like FREE.) also, did I mention that i gave notice at my job? again?

because I wanted to, that’s why. i’ll work this week and next, then done, all done.

Honest to mike, those of you who have been following this blog since its humble beginnings and right up until its riotous present, fucking how many jobs have i had since i had kids? Seriously. Search under “work” or “jobs” or “starting next job” or “finishing this job and packing up both of my offices I’m done with this shit” and see what you come up with. At one point I worked in three different offices, in three different buildings — Tigard, Hillsboro and Beaverton, too. I could never remember where I was supposed to be is why I quit.

This latest job is good, but the arm thing is making me nuts. Too much typing.

And am somewhat whimsical girl, damn. That’s fine.

later.

edited 6:46 a.m. Thursday to say……….. SNOW DAY! for both school districts :) So the kids are off and I am, too. hallelujah xo me

Steve told me that his school music teacher had them sing this in chorus, hahaha. What the heck?

Guess she liked the “writing fifty times I must not be so, oh, oh, oh…” line.

— wm

what do you think?

Marge: “Homie, you always mean to say the nicest things.”

— The Simpsons

* that Watson IBM thing on Jeopardy was stupid. I am such a die-hard Jeopardy fan, and you know I belong to the Ken and Brad fan club. So it sorta headached me, is what I’m saying. Gimme a real game, not an avatar.

* Steve is at work; Wacky Boy and i are home with colds (sore throats, coughs, fatigue, and perhaps just a general sense of ennui)

* They bring Brenda back to GH, I’m over the moon cuz she’s always been one of my favorite characters, and what? they’re going to kill her off now, instead of having her marry Sonny? Cussin’ writers. Do it right, writers, i mean it.

* I have tendonitis from my library work (and facebook, and too much mousing, and from typing too fast. i’m like, crazy-fast typist). It goes up my right arm, stopping for a special pocket of pain in the elbow (i think it’s cussin’ bursitis or something, too? I smacked my funny bone — NOT FUNNY — a month ago and it is still swollen and tender), then travels all the way up my shoulder, down into where my shoulder bone’s attached to my/back bone, then up the right side of my neck, up and over my ear, into my jaw (thank you, TMJ, you suck, too) and into my head.

What does this all mean? I hurt all the cussin’ time. and it hurts to type. and you know i love to type (see: work stuff — required by law; e-mails; FB; my book; various writing projects and yes, blog). it pains me to type. it pains me to say that. it pains me to mouse mouse blip all day, too, at work. (checking in/checking out.) it pains me to carry around large boxes/armfuls of books, dishes, laundry, and i can’t grip sometimes with my right hand. it also hurts to just write longhand (see: journal, pen, propped up with pillows, ow).

i write, therefore i am i write, therefore i am i write, therefore i am i write, therefore i am i write, therefore i am

honestly, I can’t blame this on middle age. I’ve been dealing with some of this crap (thyroid, girl problems) since i was a kid. and yes, i know i need to go in for physical therapy, but i am scared. I just worked up the nerve last week finally to go in and get my bloodwork done (again) for thyroid. I LOVE my (now-former) doctor, she was amazing. she also had this great practice with four or five other doctors. I saw most of them, in the few years I’ve been going to her, and they’re all as great as she is.

However. They’re in north Portland, and we now live on West Side. Fancy West Side. And I haven’t been willing to start with someone new. I love my doctor so much. She has two kids my kids’ age, and she’s from the neighborhood, and she can handle anything (see: thyroid, see: wacky heart, see: follow-up on surgery, see: bronchial pneumonia, see: flu shots; see: general bitchiness). This doctor would never randomly cut into me on a Monday morning, is what I’m saying.

I found a new doctor. They’re nice. They took my blood and only bruised me up a little. My one “good” vein collapsed years ago. My “second-best” vein is nearing collapse. To cheer me up, the phlebotomist told me awhile back, We can just take it from behind your knee if that one collapses.

Because that’s just what sounds good — a needle coming in at ya from behind the knee.

So when i am being a big baby and refusing PT? Too. Many. Issues.

xoxoxoxo

me

some days are good, sweet, filled with chocolate bon-bons and kisses and more love than you ever thought you’d receive.

Other days?

“Just another hurdle on my way to the grave,” in the words of Joey’s Grandma Pigza.

Hey! you know what I did for fun, though? Made a bunch of posts on here “public” and not “private” so… it’s like an Easter egg hunt, kinda. (Clue: check the “remodelling” category. hahahee!)