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Grandma’s House Restaurant cookbook: my new BFF

April 2nd, 2011

You know, when you’re on a road trip with your rowdyass family, there is nothing better than stopping at a family restaurant/diner-type place for some pie. Especially when that pie is accompanied by mashed potatoes and gravy and roast beef on an open-faced sandwich. Or perhaps a grilled cheese ‘n’ fries, with a chocolate milkshake. Or a gardenburger with extra pickles and some homemade potato salad.

(Here is my tribute to pie, my grandma, and my cousin Travis.)

I like to eat! Food tastes good, that is why. Especially when you’re in Salina, Utah. The only way Steve talks me into traveling is by telling me, “I’ll take you out for pie, c’mon…” and we’re good to go.

For my kids, a “good” restaurant means “gift shop.” We found that at Grandma’s House in Yreka, California, and that’s where I bought one of the craziest cookbooks ever. It now has a home in my collection and I will treasure it always. It has all the usual recipes you’d expect — Sweet ‘n’ Sour Meatballs, crockpot recipes galore, caramel corn, Oompa-Lompa Bread, Stroganoff for Nursing Mama’s Or Picky Kids (OK, those are different ;) The latter calls for oyster sauce, IMO and cream of chicken soup…) plus lots of standards that call for Rotel, jello and/or mayo. Lots of recipes from Sis, Cheri, Flo, Taffi and Laverna. (Why did I not name Wacky Girl “Taffi”? Man.)

my Dear, Late Granny: “You don’t eat enough bacon, that’s your problem.”

But this little gem has something out of the ordinary, and that something is… Jade. Here is one of her recipes:

Baked Beans
14 bean seeds
1 big bottle ketchup
Only 1/2 bottle mustard (because of how it tastes)

Put them all in the oven part of your stove at 5 degrees for 16 hours.

— Jade

I’m assuming Jade is the owner’s granddaughter, or perhaps just a kitchen sprite, but whoever she is? Funny, funny, funny. It also contains poetry!

I called her an angel when we were wed,
But it did not long endure,
For a year had not passed
When I really did wish
That she was an angel for sure!

Man! I can’t believe I only paid 14 bucks for this.

One more from Jade? OK.

Chocklit Cake
1 box of cake stuff
20 eggs
A drop of milk

Put every single thing you have in a mother-size pan. Put it in the oven department of the stove. Make it as hot as the coffeepot. Cook it until the big hand is on the 6. Eat it when the news comes on.

— Jade

3 Comments

  1. Dan Hortsch says

    I love “Cook it until the big hand is on 6.” And 14 bean seeds and a bottle of ketchup and a half-bottle of mustard, too, of course. That book is a gem, no question.

    The not eating enough bacon line reminds me: A friend said that her mother would tell her that she is not eating properly for breakfast. Ruth would be eating a container of yogurt, and her mother would say, “Oh, you can’t live on that. Here, have a doughnut!”

    April 3rd, 2011 | #

  2. Nan says

    I love it! Sounds like some of the ones I’ve got written down…

    April 3rd, 2011 | #

  3. Wacky Mommy says

    Mmmmmmmmmmmm doughnuts…….

    Nan, I had one written down that called for “one cup soya sauce and crashed garlic.” Yes, to any amount of garlic; no to one cup soy sauce unless you’re cooking for an army.

    April 3rd, 2011 | #

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