New website I just heard about.

Overheard in my backyard, just now — someone talking to a kid from one of the neighbor’s yards:

“Damn. Stop, OK. OK? Shit. You share with your damn sister. Bitch.”

(Please let him have been talking to a dog, not a kid. A female dog.)

(No, it’s not “enough” to call child welfare.)

From Overheard in PDX:

Pottymouth

Little girl in a stroller about 2 1/2, speaking to caretaker:
“Shut the fuck up.”

Caretaker (laughing a bit):
“Hey. I love you”

Little girl:
“Shut the fuck up, shut the FUCK up, shut the FUCK up.” (laughing)

Caretaker (to horrified passengers):
“Oh, ha ha she learned that in daycare. We just ignore it. ”

Little girl (leaning over in stroller and spitting several times on the floor):
“Shut the FUCK up. Shut the FUCK up, Shut the FUCK up”. (Spits on the floor a few more times before continuing her mantra.)

Caretaker: (Calling the father of this child on her cell phone):
“Yeah, she’s saying shut the “F” up, you know, in that cute little voice of hers.”

– Eastbound MAX on way home from work 7/25/07

— Overheard by Dyana, who writes:
(At this point, I am waiting for the girl’s head to rotate 360, and for her to puke pea soup.)

Wacky Mommy says: People, “No” is a complete sentence. Say “no” to children like this. Do not say they have a “cute little voice.” Do not just ignore the behavior. Do not laugh and giggle. Do not say “Gentle!” over and over until I am tempted to throw something at you. Say “no” and head for home.

So. If you went, how was Blogher?

I’ve started a new series: The Dogs of Portland.

Just fyi. Because I know how much you love dogs, Internet.

(PS — I’m going to get business cards printed, and hand them out when I take photos of dogs. So if you see your crazy dog here, leave a note in comments. thankyouverymuch.)

My post is up over at Grasshopper New Media. Leave a comment, eh?

love,

WM

Did you ever think about going over and looking at my Flickr pictures? That aren’t even mine they’re my husband’s? (Some of them are mine. Just not all of them.)

“Did you ever hear of the Napoleonic code, Stella? Now just let me enlighten you on a point or two. Now, we got here in the state of Louisiana what’s known as the Napoleonic code. You see, now according to that, what belongs to the wife belongs to the husband also, and vice versa. It looks to me like you’ve been swindled, baby.” — Stanley Kowalski, “A Streetcar Named Desire.” (more…)

Starting this weekend, I’ll be a weekly contributor over at Grasshopper New Media.

Yow!

So if you haven’t roamed around the site, take a look at their contributors and what they’ve got going.

Happy Thursday, y’all.

WM

Thirteen, how I love you.

I love these hot summer nights, too. Especially:

13) Cool, crisp, clean sheets on the bed after a

12) Cool shower

11) Ice cream in the yard

10) Watering the vegetable garden and hanging flower baskets last thing at night so I don’t have to water first thing in the morning

9) Smelling the night-blooming jasmine that has taken over my fence

8) Watching my kids splash in their wading pool

7) Writing in my journal in the yard

6) Croquet!

5) Badminton!

4) Hanging the laundry out on the line and it’s dry by the morning

3) Getting the kids to bed and staying up late, drinking gin and tonics and playing cards with my husband (Pounce! aka Nerts!)

2) Listening to all the night noises — crazy howling cats, neighbors out for midnight walks, all of the sounds that are missing or muffled during the winter

1) Crickets

(Edited Thursday morning to say: How cool is that — I have Meatloaf ringtones on Google ads over there! Go click my ads, I (heart) Google money. I was singing “Hot Summer Night” in the shower last night, after writing this post. Heh heh. Thank you for all the comments — you guys are the best readers ever.)

I was trying to 1) run a book over to my friend’s house. My friend who lives five blocks from me, 2) drop off videos at Hollywood Video, because apparently Netflix and the library and its awesome DVD three-week check-out are not enough for us, we need Hollywood, too and, 3) get my daughter to her swimming class.

Then I saw 1) two cop cars blocking the intersection where I needed to turn and 2) another cop car, who let me through and 3) a SWAT team set up three blocks from my house and 4) another SWAT team? aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii I hate this shit! Let me out of my neighborhood! (more…)