Next to my nightstand, tripping me everytime I get up:

* A pile of toys Wacky Boy keeps adding to — my Mother’s Day gifts. (They include, so far, five Boohbahs in different colors — hot pink, purple, blue, orange and yellow; a rubber snake; several teddy bears; and Whiskers, his favorite stuffed bunny. This is true love, that he gave me Whiskers.)

* One large black Lab, who thinks he’s a cat

* Four journals (two of my own, one for each of the kids)

* TV Guide (because who can maneuver television without guidance?)

* A large stack of old copies of the Nation, New Yorker and Cosmo (???) magazines

These books:

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A disclaimer: I am not a trained professional, and none of this advice should be considered “professional medical or mental health advice” in any way, shape or form.

Dear Wacky Mommy,

I have this same problem with my husband. I think he suffers from depression, can’t sleep at night, sleeps in as late as he can get away with. It drives me crazy! He is supposed to be a role model for our children. What kind of role model sleeps in until 10 a.m. sometimes while the rest of the family is up? He does take a daily pill for depression, eats well and exercises two to three times per week (only when I make him go). I am at my last straw here and I think the sheet changing, bongo parade or nose plugging will just add to the fighting this already is causing. He thinks it is no big deal and tells me not to worry about him. I know he is stressed because he started a new job, but I think he should be getting his lazy butt out of bed early to work as hard as he can to get better at it. Please give some words of advice.

Signed,

Desperate

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Whew. After reading your posts and e-mails, I am feeling okay about the Food Thing. I mean, you promise, right? You promise they won’t eat like freaks their whole lives?

Thank you, I feel way better now.

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A Short Story By Wacky Boy

Once upon a time, there was three sheep driving along in a car. Then… I forgot all the story.

Wacky Girl, to the rescue…

When all of a sudden the funny wheel rolled along…

WB: No! That’s wrong!

Then one of the wheels rolled off and then the sheep fell onto the wheel and the wheel rolled all over with the sheep on it.

THE END

When I was a kid, the neighbors next door had a grandkid who used to visit all the time. Let’s call him “Danny” because that was his name. Danny had what nowadays we would call “issues.” Yet my mother, God love her for her patience and endurance, let him come over to play sometimes, fed him snacks, and one fateful year let him go trick or treating with us.

All was well until we knocked on the door of the crotchety old lady down the street.

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“When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.”

— Jimi Hendrix, musician, singer, and songwriter (1942-1970)

Look — you give me the login and password for your blog, I am going to blog there. Take that, Hockey God. Heh heh heh. No one will be able to stop me now… no one, I tell you! Heh heh heh…

I made the rounds to the Starbucks stores today and gathered up ceramic mugs, travel mugs, pitchers for steaming milk, and little tasty boxes of Vanilla After Dinner Mints and Gum for the teachers at school, for Teacher Appreciation Week. (Dedicated as the first full week in May, but we’re celebrating May 8-12 at our school.)

But you know I couldn’t be normal about it, right? As I am not. Abbey Normal, here.

I’m going to add this post to the School Fundraising Primer, so look for it there.

Enjoy your day, everyone!

WM

SINUSITIS SOUP

Now, doesn’t that sound delicious? All that matters to me is that it works. It’s Hockey God’s creation. Give it a try next time you’re ailing.

1 onion, sliced thin
1 bulb garlic
2 vegetable bouillon cubes
6 cups water

Saute onion and garlic (I like whole cloves, but you can chop or press) on low until soft. Add bouillon cubes and squish. Add water and bring to boil. Can be garnished with fresh slices of jalapeno for an extra sinus kick. Wasabi would be good, too.

Reduce water and bouillon by half to thicken.

Go look at this blog right now.

Go Fug Yourself