“Words /
as slippery as smooth grapes, /
words exploding in the light /
like dormant seeds waiting /
in the vaults of vocabulary, /
alive again, and giving life: /
once again the heart distills them.”

— Pablo Neruda, poet and diplomat (1904-1973)

Here’s what NOT to do when you’re broke: “payday loans.” (Which are now illegal in Oregon and 14 other states, thank God.) And avoid the damn credit cards, if possible. Get a roommate, move in with friends, reduce expenses, stop eating out, walk and don’t drive, take the bus and don’t pay for parking, balance the checkbook daily, don’t rack up “courtesy fees,” switch to a credit union, on and on. Yes, we know all this. Pay with cash when possible, put your money in little envelopes marked “groceries,” “leisure,” “emergency,” turn down the thermostat, donate money, supplies and volunteer when you can… But what about if you’re already over the edge? Hang on. You just have to hang on. Try to have hope when it feels like there is none.

Here’s what else you can do: Watch this show. It’s a Frontline special called “The Card Game,” all about the credit card fiasco our nation is diving into headfirst. We caught the end of it last night, it’s good. (more…)

Christmas movie season has started for us. We’ve already watched “It’s a Wonderful Life” and “The Ref.” Tonight we’re watching “A Christmas Story” and I also bought a copy of “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” for Steve. Because it was me and my cousin T’s favorite and now he is gone and I have to have something to make me not so lonely for him, once the holidays kick into full manic overdrive.

I realize that that will not happen until mid-morning this Friday, but I am getting prepared.

I am missing my cousin, and my grandma. He was the nicest person in our family so of course he died young. That is the way shit operates I guess. Same for his dad, same for my dad, I coulda called it but I didn’t. And my grandma was the wildest so of course I don’t know who the hell to call now that she’s gone. I go to call her once or twice a day, only she is not there. Then I do not want to pick up the phone at all when it rings because, ring, ring, hello? It’s not going to be her.

“Nancy. It’s her Grandma. Call her.”

That is the message she would leave on my machine, see?

Sigh.

Do the holidays affect you weird or what?

Also, what is your favorite holiday book and/or movie?

Please advise.

xo

Wacky Mommy
The Christmas Elf

on my nightstand this week:

Oh, how we love our Winter Hawks. The lack of shooting. The lack of scoring. The lack of winning. The fact that they’re housed on “Winning Way” makes it just that much more painful. Oh, wait just a minute here — we’re ranked 2nd in our division at this point???? Gooooooo, team!

Bart: “Hey Mom, did you save the love letters Dad sent you?”

Homer Simpson: “Maybe it’s the beer talking Marge, but you’ve got a butt that won’t quit. They’ve got these big chewy pretzels here that are [unintelligible] Five dollars? Get outta here.”

Dwight: Where are we going?
Jim: Come on. Get inside.
Dwight: Where are we going?
Jim: We’re going to Chuck E. Cheese.
Michael: Chuck E. Cheese? Oh, god. I’m so sick of Chuck E. Cheese.
Jim: We’re going to the hospital, Michael.
Michael: I know. I’m just sayin’…

My husband Hockey God and I just spend all day cracking each other up over here. We’re not good at much else but we’re good as hell at that. He knows this is my favorite YouTube clip ever:

I am living proof of what happens to a girl when she grows up with her dad’s parents loving them some Lawrence Welk and her mom’s parents loving them some Hee-Haw. I know for sure Steve’s gonna love this one:

You know why that one is so good? Well, a lot of reasons, obviously. The technical wherewithal, the go-to-it-iveness of the whole dadblasted thing. June is so adorable, and John is so handsome. (That’s what I called him, John.) But mainly, it’s classic because no matter how big and how famous she got, how many fancy houses and cars and all that, she was still that little honey who started out with her family, performing. I love u, June. (John, too.)

That’s right, I just do not know when to stop. Last one. I promise. Look for that sexy little vixen Tammy Wynette, and my friend John with a pie in his hand.

She’s reviewing big girl boudoir toys over on her blog. She kills me, with the descriptions. Yummy pink!

I will continue to write about… yummy pink sugar cookies. Yes, we need all kinds of writing in this world, yes we do. Hmm. Here’s a question: If you gave me a choice right now between a yummy pink sugar cookie and nooky, what would I take?

Both.

Here’s a thought: For those of you who are long-time readers of blogs (lurkers or not), have your blog needs changed? My writing has changed a lot in five years, mebbe not for the better, who can tell? But I’m going to the blogs for different things now: Less parenting advice, more recipes; less for the serious stuff, more for the humor. It’s not that I don’t need or want the parenting advice, I do. Oh, I do. But I’m not finding as much as I’d like for parents of tweens.

So… why do you go read around?

My Dear Granny has been gone almost seven months now. (Do you need her recipe for Lemon Bundt Cake with Orange Glaze Heartbreak?) We made it through the first Mother’s Day without her, her birthday, most of our birthdays… now the big holidays are coming up. And my sister’s wedding. My stupid surgery. My lungs hurt, and I’m always such a baby when I’m sick. Seriously, I alternate between calling my mom, my grandma, and my girlfriends. Steve and the kids totally baby me. I get bronchitis and pneumonia is why.

I could write an essay, “What Getting a Cold Means to Me: Fear of Bronchial Pneumonia.”

I’ve gotten bronchitis once, twice, three times a year, pretty much, since I was 12. Once in awhile I go for two or three years with just little colds, nothing more, I’m all yes, no more bronchitis, my lungs are strong, then boom. I get worried the antibiotics won’t work. If it’s viral, they don’t do anything, anyway. So I’m thinking of all those times when it was probably viral and the doctors and I panicked, treated with antibiotics, anyway.

Who knows what the hell to do when your lungs betray you.

“Girl, you’re burning the candle at both ends,” was what my Granny would tell me. “That’s why you get bronchitis.”

Colds without laryngitis, she was convinced, did not lead to bronchitis. Laryngitis = bronchitis. I must say, she has been right on that one every time. Ah, well. We’ll see, okay? I have been losing my voice off and on the last couple of weeks. I talk too much, anyway. haha. Can always blog.

I got the nicest e-mail the other night, from a lady my Granny went to church with. She wanted to know, have I finished Granny’s cookbook yet? (That I started, what, five years ago?) No, I have not. It was like getting an e-mail kick in the pants, which I needed, ha.

I love this lady. She and my Granny talked on the phone often, she said, especially Sunday night, when they would discuss the sermon at church. They worked on the senior luncheons and holiday luncheons together.

“I loved her outlook on life. I thoroughly enjoyed her commentary on life. And I miss her encouragement and good humor about life. Losing her has been a tremendous loss for a lot of us.”

Yeah. I just smiled and got misty all the way through this e-mail — it was like getting a hug from my Granny. Then she gave me some recipes, and told me to let her know when we get the cookbook done. (I’m hoping we finish it over the holidays — just need to cut and paste the files together. I think we’re going to do it as an on-demand print job through Cafe Press.)

love,

wm

Apple Pizza

Crust (or make pastry for 2-crust pie)

Add the first 4 ingredients and mix with a pastry blender or fork until fine grained:

2 c. flour, sifted

3/4 c. shortening

1 2 tsp. sugar

1 tsp. salt

In separate dish, mix these 3:

2 egg (2 T.)

2 tsp. vinegar

3 c. cold water

Add the egg and water mixture to the flour mixture. Gather dough together so it cleans the bowl. Chill at least 15 minutes.

Cinnamon mixture

2 c. sugar

1 tsp. cinnamon

3 tsp. nutmeg

Mix these 3 together.

Apples — 4-5 peeled and finely sliced.

Topping

Blend together:

1 c. flour

2 c. sugar

2 c. margarine

Roll pastry to about 15-inch circle on cookie sheet or pizza pan.

Slice apples on top.

Sprinkle cinnamon mixture over topping.

Sprinkle on topping mixture. Bake 20-25 min. at 450 E . (Check at 15 min. — you don’t want it to get too brown.)

GRAMA’S SUGAR COOKIES

Beat well:

1 c. sugar

1 c. butter (2 cubes)

2 tsp. vanilla

1 egg

Sift:

3 c. flour

2 tsp. cream of tartar

2 tsp. baking soda

Add to sugar mixture and mix well.

Drop by large spoonsful onto greased cookie sheet. Flatten with a greased glass dipped in sugar. Bake at 400 E for 8-10 min. (watch carefully) or until lightly browned. ENJOY!

UNSTUFFED PEPPER SOUP

2 lbs. ground beef

3 large green peppers, chopped

1 large onion, chopped

2 cans (14 2 oz.) beef broth

2 cans condensed tomato soup (undiluted)

1 can (28 oz.) crushed tomatoes, undrained

1 can (4 oz.) mushroom stems & pieces, drained

2 cups cooked rice

In a Dutch oven or large saucepan, cook the beef, green peppers and onions until meat isn’t pink. Drain off fat. Stir in broth, soup, tomatoes and mushrooms. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer for at least 30 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add rice, heat through and serve.

Yield: 10 servings

what is it with Mondays around here?

1) i’m home sick from work today and tomorrow, trying not to slip over into bronchitis, cuz The Thing I’ve had for a month has moved into my lungs

2) i’m wheezing

3) i heard from the doc’s office — they found “abnormal endometrial cells” on my cervix. Isn’t the first time for this, but hopefully if I get all better by next month and can have surgery, it will be the last time for this kind of call.

4) if i’m sick, no surgery; if i have no surgery, i’m sick (exhaustion, anemia, cancer worries)

5) doesn’t this all just suck?

6) there has been a big windstorm all day and it’s kinda freaking me out, what with all the crashing and blowing

7) i didn’t get one of the grants i applied for for my library. jury is still out on other two grants.

8) on a bright note — steve and the kids are my favorite thing in life. they are sweet, funny, and know when to worry and when to breathe. (unlike me.) their love and enthusiasm keeps me going every day.

9) i’m really happy that my sis and the Red-Headed Guy are getting married next month. And guess what? My job is to provide the cupcakes for the wedding. With that in mind, they bought me my very own Cupcake Carrier. Do we need the Tree Stand, do you think? Or just arrange on platters? Oh, frosting. Oh, love. Oh, a Christmas wedding, so cool. Magic, magic, magic.

10) i’m also losing weight, cuz i’m worried all the time and don’t want to eat. that’s something. argggggggggggggghhhh. OK. Make it positive, girl. I love the Wii-Fit and the Wii-Fit Plus they are the best, funnest work-out ever. The end.

11) c’mon get happy.

love,

wm

And, because sometimes it’s not:

And, because this one is always true:

I always thought Danny was highly underrated as a bass player, didn’t you?

edited at 7:30 p.m. to say:

* one doctor wants me to come in so they can listen to me wheeze; other doc is on vacation for a week. the cells are probably… nothing. and if they are something? will deal.

* fixed vegetarian meatloaf, polenta and broc, an old favorite, for dinner. kids were not amused.

* climbing back in bed. have a good night, y’all.