Qanzas asked me awhile back how the “Everything Buddhism” book is and I completely forgot to answer him. It’s great. I am just now starting the section on karma. I read it aloud to my family and they were laughing their asses off.

“Sometimes you intentionally set out to cause harm with no malice in your heart whatsoever. You might decide to whack your dog over the head with a big stick because he won’t sit when you tell him to. You may even believe you are doing the dog some good, as he will have better manners and be better behaved. However, you are intentionally harming another creature, and this cannot be construed as a positive action.” (pp. 80-81.)

Steve’s interpretation: “As I rained down blows on and around the dog’s head I thought to myself, ‘Goddamn, there has got to be a better way.'” (Kids at that point fell off their barstools.) (No, they hadn’t had anything to drink, don’t worry.)

“It is mental volition, O monks, that I call karma. Having willed, one acts through body, speech or mind.” — The Buddha (p. 81.)

And now, a word about the Cursing Mommy, aka that assclown Ian Frazier. I hate that bitch. The End. Did you happen to read “A Cursing Mommy Serenity Prayer”? Well, you know what Mr. Frazier? Plagiarism is wrong. That’s all I have to say. Now stop reading my blog and find your own goddamn material somewhere else. Or split down your paychecks with me. Either way is fine, but buddy, you need to not continue down the road to ruin. Thief. Dirty hippie.

Now on to more important matters: “Waiting for Normal,” by Leslie Connor. My kid and I love this book and you should read it. Even if you’re a grown-up who doesn’t have kids, or a gothy teenager who only reads those books involving blood, piercings and wrecked cars, you should still read it. Especially if you’re that teenager you should read it.

“The Man Who Loved Books Too Much” is about a dirty thief who steals books using other people’s credit cards and by writing bad checks. As near as I can tell, he does not actually read any books. This makes him something like two of my ex’s who liked the way the books looked “fancy” on the shelf but never actually “opened one up.” People like that need to just stop their thievin’ and fakin’, sit down and read a damn library book. That they’ve checked out on their own card. After they’ve paid their cussing fines. Then they need to return the book, on time, once they’re done.

The End.

Love,

Wacky Mommy

More on libraries.

OK, i cannot do my usual links. u know why? because this keyboard and mouse suck is why. Right now i am at the word HELLO!! and all that shows up on the screen is “Right now.” I kid you not. I am such a good typist i am fixing my errors EVEN THO THEY ARE INVISIBLE ON THE CUSSIN’ PAGE.

i am going to try to tell u what i am reading: “the Everything Buddhism Book.” (because i can be Unitarian Universalist/ Marxist feminist AND zen buddhist, see? they all go well together. (oh! computer is speeding up. as i’m typing these words i can actually see each word. Am no longer 10 words behind on the screen.) (stupidass computers.) (did i mention that i’m married to a software engineer? NO EXCUSE for this kind of technical deficiency over here, okay? Maybe the fancy Mac doesn’t have these problems, but poor, pitiful Linux machine sure does.)

but i digress.

if R were here she’d yell FOCUS! at me right now. she’s around attorneys too much, i don’t hold it against her. (ps no i haven’t had anything to drink, thank u, just like this naturally.)

also reading “The Man Who Loved Books Too Much” and “Women Who Think Too Much.” IT IS A TOO MUCH KIND OF WEEK.

four more days til holiday break, thank you, thank you and good night. computer has gone stupid again. What are you reading right now? Hmm. Really? What are you wearing? JUST KIDDING.

FOCUS.

buh-bye.

wm

Reading this week:

Because it’s true, schools really are political places:

more stinkin’ books:

On the coffeetable:

I’m sneaking in a few book reviews here and there, and some light reading, too, but the sad reality is I have too many bigass textbooks right now to do much of anything “extra.” Now I can see that this is why I put off grad school for so long. Goodbye, free time. (And when you’re a mom, working inside or outside of the home, an artist, writer, knitter, person who volunteers, someone who enjoys eating something other than pizza… shoot. Who has free time, even without university on top of it all?)

Blaze Ginsberg (son of writer Debra Ginsberg) is a young adult who has autism. “Episodes: My Life as I See It” (Roaring Brook Press, New York, 2009, $16.99, 274 pages) is his story. It’s good and it’s unlike anything else I have ever read on the topic. I especially like the way the book is formatted in the style that Ginsberg interprets thoughts, memories, stories. It’s stream-of-consciousness, it’s how he sees thing, and he takes his readers along for the ride. Nice work.

“The Long Secret,” by Louise Fitzhugh (Harper & Row Publishers, New York, 1965, 275 pages), is the highly-underrated sequel to “Harriet the Spy.” It’s one of my all-time favorites and homework be damned — I’m going to finish it this afternoon. OK, I’m doing some homework first, but Harriet, you are my girl. Thanks for always being there for me.

“Boy,” said Harriet, “how love can poison the mind. Listen, I’m going to come around here even more. This is such a big place, they obviously get more notes; so that note leaver will have to be here more often.”

Beth Ellen nodded sappily, her eyes never leaving Bunny for a minute.

“The Day Leo Said I Hate You,” by Robie H. Harris, illustrated by Molly Bang (Little, Brown and Company, New York, Boston, unpaged, $16.99) is a brand-new release. (You may remember Molly Bang from her classic picture book, “When Sophie Gets Angry — Really, Really Angry…”) This one is a really good picture book for the little hotheads in your life.

Happy Saturday!

— wm

“These are not books, lumps of lifeless paper, but minds alive on the shelves.” — Gilbert Highet, writer (1906-1978)

Some fun stuff, some serious stuff, and some really heavy stuff:

On the coffeetable:

“Michael Pollan’s Food Rule #22 is: Eat mostly plants, especially leaves! For a crispy treat buy Tuscan kale and spray or brush with olive oil, sprinkle with salt and pepper and place on a baking sheet. Bake at 400 until crispy.” — thank you, Beaverton Farmers Market

“It’s one of life’s lessons: I’ve learned how to be generous, because I’ve allowed myself to receive.”

— my girl Suzanne

And now, for a little light reading:

On the coffeetable:

You know what all this learning hurts? My brain. Seriously, why was I thinking graduate school was a good idea? And not some correspondence-course grad school, either, oh no. It has recently come to my attention that you can get a master’s degree by just sending away for one by mail. (Or e-mail.) But no, I had to sign up for “rigorous program.”

Intellectual discipline is so over-rated.

Also, this week’s episode of “Glee,” the one with Kurt’s dad?, made me cry my head off, especially when Mercedes sang “Bridge Over Troubled Water,” and when Finn did “Losing My Religion.” So what did I have to go and do? Yeah, that’s right. We went to my daughter’s band thing last night (really fun), then when we got home, Steve made us grilled cheese sandwiches and I made the mistake of drinking two glasses of wine and watching “Glee” again. I was a hot mess after all that was over. Damn “Glee.”

Now, I work out and study.

xo

me