“As Dorothy Zbornak, Arthur seemed as caustic and domineering as Maude. She was unconcerned about the similarity of the two roles. ‘Look — I’m 5-feet-9, I have a deep voice and I have a way with a line,’ she told an interviewer. ‘What can I do about it? I can’t stay home waiting for something different. I think it’s a total waste of energy worrying about typecasting.'”

— quoted in The New York Times, 4/25/09

“Don’t call me shrill, ho.”

The last time I was called shrill, hmm, let’s see. Hmm, hmmm, hummers! That was it! My boss wanted me to blow him and I wouldn’t.

Then one of the other managers (female, unbelievably enough. Oh, wait. Naw, I can believe it) wanted me to explain myself. Apparently he thought blow jobs were part of my job description, complained to her, she was dispatched to “deal” with “the situation.”

“It’s just, you don’t usually sound so… shrill,” she told me.

So forgive me, Anna Griffin, that I am a little “p.o’ed” at you for calling our recently-elected City Commissioner “shrill.”

Steve just wrote a good post about said column. Then told me, “Doesn’t matter, all their links go dead after two weeks, anyway.” So I won’t bother giving them a link. But I’ll give him one. A link! Settle down, now.

It is a weird, crazy day at Wacky House when Wacky Mommy finds herself in agreement with Kevin Mannix. (In today’s Oregonian, Mannix is quoted as calling Mike Erickson a “political sociopath.”)

And just to set everything straight — I’m pro-choice. Abortion needs to be safe, legal and removed of stigma and taboo.

However. (And this is a pretty big “however.”) I am against abortion when it involves your rich boyfriend driving you to the clinic, taking 300 bucks out of an ATM on the way, and dumping you at the clinic doors. (“That solves that problem.”) Then he takes you to Puerto Vallarta a month later, after you’re “good again,” so he can feel better and what? This is some sort of reward for “taking care of” the “problem”?

That I have a problem with. I mean, seriously. Fuck that. Fuck that about twelves ways to Monday. Because not only are you dealing with the post-partum that often follows abortion (and is something a lot of people refuse to discuss or deal with), you’re also dealing with Trauma of Asshole Boyfriend Who Treats You and Your Unborn Like Pieces of Dirt.

Something like that is going to take years of healing. Peace and healing to you, girl. You’re not alone. I hope you find some support and care and community.

wm

(Here is the text of the editorial that ran in the Oregonian this morning:)

The 5th District bombshell
Kevin Mannix circulates troubling charges against Mike Erickson in a fight so down and dirty that one of the two must go
Wednesday, May 14, 2008

“Political sociopath” is an awfully harsh label, but it’s going to stick on Erickson unless he goes public, and soon, with a convincing case that the Mannix allegations are unfounded.

“Your worth is not measured by the size of your ass, nor the depth of your cleavage.”

Write that one down and stick it up on the wall.

xxox

wm

Post-a-vista No. 7: Our girl, RECOVERING STRAIGHT GIRL!!!

RSG, this is everyone. Everyone, this is the RSG! There! It’s done. Now we all know each other. (I highly recommend reading through her archives — so much “there” there. I love spying on people via their archives, don’t you?)

So, Post-a-vistas!!!

If the system makes you want to “tweak,” then maybe you need tweaking!!!

Time will tell!!!

In the meantime, RSG lives with her amazingly hott girlfriend (I’ve seen pictures so I know) and RSG’s three beautiful daughters in a suburb not so very far away from moi. She goes to a lot of soccer and softball games! She has people drop by specifically because they want to fix meals for her!!! She is politically savvy and also an English major! So let’s hear what SHE has to say!!!

1. Describe your family:

My family consists of my amazing partner in life, HG and my three daughter’s who are 9, almost 11, and 13.

2. Name one thing America is doing right for parents (I, personally, would find this question “challenging.” wm):

I think the Family Medical Leave Act of the early 90’s was a good start. I believe that Oregon has just expanded this to include some paid time off but I’m not certain of the particulars. I don’t know, that $400.00 Bush sent me in 2001 was nice . . . (please note heavy sarcasm here.) I was pleased with the recent law that requires employers to provide a spot for mothers to nurse or pump their milk for their babies (that is NOT a bathroom.)

3. Name one thing America is not doing right for parents:

Let me get my list.

First: Women need to have true and honest access to information about their birth options and should be able to exercise their birth options with support from their healthcare provider; women should be active participants in their birth experiences, this is the first act of parenting. Parents need paid time off for having babies, mother’s need to be supported to breastfeed at LEAST through the first year of their babies life and hopefully beyond. All children (and people) have a right to quality healthcare. Women need to have viable options in regards to working part-time/flex-time/work from home so that they can be there for their children. Parents should be able to send their children to college without mortgaging their homes or going into debt.

4. What’s one parenting issue that really “riles you up,” makes you ready to work for change:

The birth issue is probably my biggest issue. Women are so mis-treated during their birth experiences — most of the time they don’t even realize that they are being mis-treated. It’s abusive and wrong and women need to be given back their power to birth their children the way that they want to, not the way the medical establishment thinks that they should. It’s patronizing and archaic and depleting to a woman’s self-esteem. It’s her first lesson in advocating for her child, and our society strips this from her. (Hear, hear! wm)

5. Who’s gonna get your vote for President ’08 & why? (feel free to ignore this question):

I honestly have not decided. I’ve been torn from the beginning. The “girl power” thing is what keeps me from committing to Obama — but it hasn’t been enough for me to commit to Ms. Clinton.

6. Name one thing Post-a-Vistas could do to be a better place?:

Show more boob shots, definitely. (She promises to send a boob shot later. wm)

7. What’s your fave thing about parenting?:

I don’t really like anything about it; I don’t really like kids that much. Just kidding. I love snuggling with my girls and when they tell me how much they love me. I love teaching them things and seeing them experience different parts of life for the first time. Even my oldest at 13, learns things every single day, just like she did when she was three, only the lessons are way different.

8. Anything else you think we should know about you?:

I’m a pretty passionate person who gets heavily involved in whatever project is in front of me at the time. Right now I would say that my issue is equal rights and protections for all people because for the first time in my life I am being treated like a second class citizen based solely on who I love. This isn’t right and I’m not going to take it sitting down.

Thanks for playing, RSG!!! Keep coming back, it works!

OK, everyone else has weighed in, I guess I’d better, too. I do not like the politics so much, it makes me a little “headachey.” I alternate between hope and headache, as far as politics goes.

Then I’m cleaning the bathroom and there, staring up at me, is the Oct. ’07 Atlantic, with Bill Clinton’s shiny face on it. To the lower left of his ear there is an article promo’ed: “How To Be A Moral Investor.” And I’m thinking, that’s kinda funny. Cuz as we know, the man has the morals of an alley cat. So if he could learn how to invest in some morals I think that would be just dandy.

Everyone says no one died/when Bill lied but we know that’s bullshit. He was known to randomly, erratically, carelessly drop bombs on countries and kill who he could. And then there was the whole welfare-to-work thing, that killed people literally and spiritually.

Up top, the headline says: “Let’s Make A Deal: Bill Clinton Reinvents Charity — And Himself.” And I’m thinking, ha ha ha whoooo am I endorsing?

I do not know Mr. Obama, you know, personally. But he seems like an alright man.

Hillary? I did not appreciate it when she talked smack about my girl Tammy Wynette and was all, “I’m not one of those little stand by your man girls” and then… proceeded to be the worst kind of little “stand by your man” girls. Whereas Tammy Wynette, as far as I’m concerned, is country feminist hero.

And then there were the blowjobs. If you have a woman (or if you have a man) you give up your “random blowjobs from others” privilege. Now, if you partner, to quote the Allman Brothers (because… why not?) is off with one of your “good time buddies/they’re drinking in some cross-town bar” then, by all means, go grab a blowjob.

Really, life is too short for shenanigans like that.

Otherwise, do not pull some little tricks, then go on national television, all, “That woman,” “I did not sleep with that woman,” etc. And if you’re “and his wife,” and you get (or choose to be) set-up, then afterwards you had better say, “I had no idea and what the hell, the man is a dog and I am sorry I called you a slut — he’s the slut, you were just young and stoopid, so wise up, sister” or something. Just anything. But no, you are not allowed to say, “I’m staying with the creep and vote for me!”

Because that just confuses me.

I do not care for Hillary because she is anti-sister. (See above: bombs, no welfare checks, too many erratic blowjobs, the whole “that woman” thing.)

So Obama gets my vote because of… blowjobs. And bombs.

Ta-ta. Remember, vote early and vote often.

wm

UrbanMamas, I’m sorry I called you a bunch of pussies and bitches. Also, since I posted that, we’ve decided not to move across town, so here I am, baby.

What I meant to say was the following: By transferring your kids hither and yon to go to school, you are being socially regressive. Also, you’re not expressing with your full capabilities. I heard from ProtestMama that you’re having a panel discussion about school choice options. Neither of us was invited to be on the panel, oddly enough. That’s fine, I get ya. I am working for Portland Public Schools now, doing community outreach, and I’ve heard you don’t really want to have PPS on the panel. ProtestMama does not work for PPS, she just knows her shit, but whatever. I’m sure you had your reasons. But you are saying that parents and others in the audience will be able to add their two cents.

I’ll probably add four cents, possibly nine cents, we’ll have to see. ProtestMama and I are planning to attend, if we can make it. Which brings me to my first question: Are we welcome at the table? Uh, no. Are we welcome in the room? I hope so. You have indicated that we are welcome, it is a public meeting and all.

Anyway. The discussion will be held at noon, next Wednesday, January 30th, 2008, in the U.S. Bank Meeting Room at Multnomah County Library’s Central branch, 801 SW Tenth Ave. My second question: We both do work outside of the home, as do many other mamas. Why noon? On a weekday? Ah, catering to the stripedy crowd, with their cunning hats and their stay-at-home UrbanMamas? Is that it? I would suggest holding another discussion, in the evening, and not downtown.

What would I like? I would like you all to please support your neighborhood schools, walk through the doors, tour them, give ’em a couple of years and a chance before deciding to transfer out (and I hope you do not transfer out, I hope you invest in your neighborhood schools). I want you to meet the teachers, administrators and staff. I want you to volunteer, so you get a true idea of what the school is about.

But most of all: I want you to please help us fight for equity for all of our students. If you want to know how you can help, go leave a note on my better half’s blog or e-mail one of us. A whole lot of us want equity for PPS students. You can start now, right this second, by e-mailing the school board, the superintendent, your neighborhood school’s principal. You can talk to your friends.

I thought it was telling that the little picture on the announcement for the panel discussion shows two suburban-looking ladies, gabbing at the back fence. Those “back fence deals,” (Should we fly? Should we stay?) those deals make and break our schools. Birds of a feather flock together and all that.

I started getting pretty involved in school politics the day I had two PTA moms, both white, in my home office. We were going over the books, figuring out fundraisers for the year. My daughter was entering kindergarten. They had older boys who were going into sixth grade, and both had decided to send them to a west side school, across town (loooooong train or bus ride) because they “couldn’t” go their neighborhood school.

“We’d be in the minority there!” one of them said.

“I know!” said the other.

My response: “I don’t give a shit about that — why do you?”

Blank stares. Blank. As blank and one-dimensional as those two women in the little picture on that post you ran.

“If we stayed, I mean, if we all stayed, we could make it better,” one of them ventured.

But they didn’t.

Did you know kids who transfer out of their neighborhood school are more likely to drop out? Feel like fishes out of water? Feel unwanted, and out of place, when the students who “belong” there let them know, You are not from our neighborhood?

Anyway.

I have the good fortune (or in her case, she might see it as bad luck. Ha.) to have a friend who is also a mom in the neighborhood. I’ve known her and her husband for more than twenty years. They’re not right in our neighborhood — they’re up the street a ways. But their kids dip in over here for a charter. The point is — we’ve been having some good discussions about what it will take, what PPS needs to commit to, what parents and community need to commit to, what changes need to be made in order to get people back to their neighborhood schools. To end the segregation in this town, the starving out of low-income children and children who are not white, to get as many of the goodies to as many people as possible. Complicating factors: The district’s radical open transfer policy. No Child Left Behind (will the Democrats rid us of this crippling legislation, if they get into office? I remain unconvinced). Classism. Racism.

She is going to start, in her own life, by volunteering at our neighborhood high school, Jefferson. Go, Demos!

I’ve finally started telling a Certain Group of Parents — let’s call them the, “We Are the World/We Are the Parents!” parents — that they are working against the greater common good by taking their little sweeties out of their own communities, where they live and (possibly? not often enough) play. The social fabric of our larger community is being damaged by all this me, me, me attitude. When you make sure your kid is getting a big enough hunk of whatever, and helping to ensure that other kids get a small hunk, or no hunk at all — you’re hurting kids.

I noticed this syndrome first at birthday parties, right around the time Wacky Girl turned nine months old. The chaos! The fancy cakes! The bounce houses, cotton candy machines, expensive, elaborate decorations and gifts. The kids, once they got a little older, weren’t as intent on playing and socializing as they were on something bigger: The Goody Bag. When would it come out? Where was it hidden? What did it contain? What if the parent forget to give them out???

If you are a parent who does not Give the Goody Bag, you feel shame. (I have been guilty, myself, of Goody Bag Overcompensation.)

Life, thank God, is not a birthday party. Education is not a birthday party, although it has become, as one of our local principals said, “A case of the haves and the have-nots.”

It’s about more than cake and goody bags. We’re talking about people’s futures, their healthcare, their livelihoods. Their self-esteem, the way they find (or don’t find) a place to fit in in the universe. It is important to me that we help our kids, our future, our collective national pride, that we help them however we can so they do not end up:

1) Shattered.
2) Addicted.
3) Abused.
4) Incarcerated.
5) Dead.

That’s important to me, for our children. They are our children, not just mine and hers and his and yours. Ours. I claim them. Do you? Because if you don’t, for real — and all you’re caring about is that goody bag and hunk of cake — you are a pussy.

Peace, yours in equity,

WM

Thelma: “Are you sure we should be driving like this, I mean in broad daylight and everything?”

— from the film “Thelma and Louise”

Thirteeners! And Usual Suspects!

Nan at Things I’ve Found in Pockets (good blog name, Nan) has requested that I write about…

Political topic please: breastfeeding and working mothers! (more…)

You’ll find excellent photos of breasts right here.