My political ally J just sent along this note:

Excerpt from “Letter from Birmingham Jail”:

“In any nonviolent campaign there are four basic steps: collection of the facts to determine whether injustices exist; negotiation; self-purification; and direct action.”

Let us honor Dr. King’s memory by staying the course.

(And the story I referred to here came from The Autobiography of Martin Luther King, Jr. )

Would you like to read the guest post I just wrote for MetBlogs? I thought so.

Love,

WM

My kids: “We stay up ’til 11 now and sleep ’til 11!”

(Lucky me.)

Happy Year of the Rat, yins.

WM

I’m writing out the rest of the Xmas cards. Does that count as fiction writing? I sure hope so. I’d like to think of something clever to say here, but I am just beat to hell tired. Damn holidays. Damn pressure. On a bright note, I cooked dinner tonight for the first time in… weeks. Months? Hard to say.

Hockey God: “Cooking a pot of beans and a pot of rice does not count as ‘cooking,’ per se.”
me: “Yes, it does.”
Hockey God: “But you didn’t do anything with them.”
me: “So?”

We had Tomato/Sweet Potato Soup that I made in the world-famous Rival Crockpot. (Thanks to my sis for the best Christmas present ever — still going strong, a year later.) I’ll list the ingredients, you put ’em together:

onions
garlic
celery
carrots
sweet potato cubes
tomatoes
vegetable broth
fresh rosemary
sage
salt n pepper

Yes, I made up this recipe myself, Suzy Homemaker that I am. It cooked on high for three hours and was just delicious. Would have been nice with white beans, too, or some smoked turkey.

Also, biscuits… and… vanilla cream pie with a graham cracker crust for dessert. Homemade, for both.

(Told you — brain donor.)

‘night,

WM

Christmas is gone and I say good riddance, ol’ pal. The kids had fun, my husband and family made a huge effort to make things nice — and special, not just the usual routine — but I just was not crazy about Christmas this year. Maybe it’s because I always expect snow, and instead we get buckets of rain — and I want to go out and see the lights, but it’s cold and wet and I am getting over bronchitis and still feeling run-down.

I’ve got no idea. It’s ennui. It’s me being selfish. I keep trying, but I just cannot get out of this little funk.

But yesterday — Christmas Day — it snowed here. (more…)

from my sister’s answering machine, circa 1989?? Her roommate, drunk, singing,

“happy holidays… happy holidays… leave a MESSAGE… fa la la la LA…”

best to you and yours,

love,

WM

It’s been a long while since I’ve run an advice column, eh? Here’s a question:

Dear Wacky Mommy:

New Here

Dear New Here:

You could always go to a petting zoo.

Love,

WM

PS — If you have questions, send ’em in and I will try to get them answered. WM

Wacky Girl, re: Jesus: “Yeah, people really are all about him this time of year.”

Hockey God is a good sport about the holidays. Well, not so much, but he tries. He’ll eat Thanksgiving dinner, and has even cooked it upon occasion. He’ll get a tree sometime before Dec. 25. Usually around Dec. 23. He’ll drink hot toddys, purchase and open gifts. As far as lights? Tinsel? Mayhem? The kids and I are on our own.

Our top five destinations, every year:

5) The Grotto’s Festival of Lights (Twenty years this year!)

4) Oregon Zoo Zoolights (Just remember, “Not all of the zoo is open. Only a few animals will be visible.” Yeah, most of them two-legged creatures, bitching because there’s no eggnog, and when is their kid’s band going to play, anyway? Heh heh.)

3) My mom’s house or sister’s house for appetizers, gifts and stockings

2) Winter Wonderland at PIR (Tacky, but fun.) (It’s kinda lame, but I love it.)

1) Peacock Lane (How I adore thee, Peacock Lane. I knew a girl in college whose family owned a home there. She used to throw birthday parties for her dog, wherein we would feed the dog cake, sing to her, and all get drunk. What a life. I have never taken the kids there yet. To Peacock Lane, not the dog party. Swear to God, it’s been raining every time we’ve attempted to go, eight years running now. Wish us luck…)

This year, I promised the kids we’d load up on extra Christmas outings because we’re not decorating the house. That’s right. I’m not packing/unpacking/repacking, etc. Christmas Ship Parade, here we come.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, 13ers and all THE USUAL SUSPECTS!!!!!!!

We love Halloween at our house. I love it so much that I would like to eat a pound of chocolate right now to celebrate. Self-control is good, but on Halloween it goes OUT the window. I will try to not eat too much chocolate. I always try to try. Here are 13 funnies for you:

13) One of the first Halloweens my husband and I spent together, we all three dressed up as princesses — Hockey God, me, and Good Ol’ Wacky Dog, who was adorable in a pink sparkly cape and pointy pink hat. We went to a party where a few friendly lesbians took a liking to him, and spent the evening “frenching” him and feeding him beer. Arooooooooooo! (Here is a picture of him, the cutest dog ever, from last year, with my sister’s dog, who is dressed as a dinosaur.) (He used to like to spend Halloween bum rushing the door every damn time the bell rang, and scaring the kids.) (Good puppy! Why did we not lock him in the office? He was part beaver and would have chewed his way out.) (Poor dog. Poor scared trick or treaters.)

12) One of my favorite memories is my daughter’s second Halloween, when my mother tried to “teach” her how to hand out Halloween candy. Only neither one of them would let go. The neighbor kids found this to be “frustrating.” We have it all on videotape, it’s pretty hilarious and a little goofy.

11) First Halloween for Wacky Girl? I dressed her as a bear. Second? She was a little bunny, and every time a kid came up on the porch she shrieked with glee and nearly scared them off.

10) “Trick or treat and make it snappy!”

9) Wacky Girl is dressed as a pirate tonight; Wacky Boy is dressed as a hippie.

8) Wacky Girl: “On Halloween, little girls go wooooooooooot-wooooooooooooooot! Hallelujah! Tricker treating!”

7) Wacky Boy: “On Halloween, little boys say twick o tweet. TWICK O TWEET FOR UNICEF!!!!”

6) Wacky Girl, upon finding out that trick or treating ends when you turn 12 or 13: “I thought that was horrible and… pretty bad.”

5) How about some candy, y’all?

4) My dad used to take us out trick or treating for blocks and blocks and blocks and never gave up before we did. That is my definition of a great father. My mom used to sort out all of our candy after we went to bed and only ate some of it, not all. That is my definition of a great mom. Also, she used to sew all of our costumes — gypsies, clowns, witches, whatever we wanted.

3) Wacky Girl’s definition of the perfect Halloween: “You get a medium amount of candy. You go home, you eat half of it, and you go to bed. The next day you don’t go to school cuz it’s Candy Hang-over Day. Then after lunch and dinner the next day you eat the rest of your candy. And that’s a perfect Halloween.”

2) Wacky Boy’s definition of the perfect Halloween: “I do not have one.” (Proceeds to wrap ribbon from sword all around the office. “It took me a very long time to do.”)

1) Happy Halloween, and I hope you get lots of treats and hardly any tricks.

WM

Linus: [to Charlie Brown after Sally tells him off] You’ve heard of the fury of a woman scorned, haven’t you?

— from “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”

Oh, Linus, I root for you and the Great Pumpkin every year.

Wacky Girl, this morning: “What are you going as for Halloween, Mom?”
me, thinking it’s best to stick with what you know: “How about… a scary witch?”
Wacky Girl: “How about a MOM they’re the scariest!!!”

I want tricks and treats! I was smart and bought only candy I don’t like — Nerds, Tootsie Pops, Reese’s sticks and Mounds. (I like the Mounds, but it was the smallest bag.)

4:45 p.m. here — We’re going to attempt dinner. Ha! Futile, but I’ll plough ahead. The kids will pretend to eat. My sister is coming by. Hockey God is bringing home Indian food yes chole and samosas! Woo-hoo!!! Wacky Girl is already in costume, dressed as a pirate, yar, complete with a stuffed parrot and a ribbon-festooned sword. She keeps practicing with the sword, it’s a lot of fun.

Wacky Boy? He’s a cute little hippie, complete with a hat his sister knitted him, a scarf I knitted him, a tie-dye shirt, peace symbol necklace and his dad’s safety glasses. (Don’t ask. The boy likes safety glasses.)