You know why I love my children’s teachers? They are smarter than I am. Yes, sir. They truly are. And as a mom who loves the hours between 8:45 and 3 p.m., I really liked this post. Bring on the free cheese.
The Internet sometimes has no sense of humor. Luckily, I do.
(For real, the comments section over there went insane.)
Thanks to the Wacky Nekkid Neighbors, I now have two full beds of strawberries plants rooting into the rich, crumbly dirt in my back yard.
I have been down. I get the blues, the mean reds, the woe is me tragic-tragics.Thank you again, Naked Sheep. Thanks for the rest of our lives. We love you guys.
I’m talking a rainbow of yarns, in cotton, mohair, angora, acrylic, everything under the sun. They’ve donated needles — straights and circular — patterns, half-finished projects, everything you could think of. Several knitters have stepped up to help.
Three other knitters want to start an afterschool club. To those of you (and you know who you are. And no, you probably aren’t even reading this blog) — to those of you who scoff and act like knitting doesn’t “count.” You’re wrong. It counts.
I’m starting to feel better already.
This is a good one and really says it all. (Thanks, Leslie Gould!)
Here, dear readers — My day in real time.
Sort of.
5, 6, 7 & 8 a.m.: Sleeping. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. Large Wacky Cat 2, the stripedy one, pins me in on one side; muscular husband pins me in on the other. Why does the Cat want to sleep with us? It’s so flippin’ hot. Unable to move. Sex? No. Have to sleep. Can’t open eyes. Consider a new lifestyle that involves not staying up so late at night. Hmmm. What time did we go to bed? Vaguely remember 11 o’clock news. Keep eyes closed. Sleep. (more…)
We sent our kids back to school yesterday for the first time in two weeks. My son, my husband and I have not had… I can’t say the word anymore. The situation. We have not had the situation do a little merry buggy dance on our heads. Although if you asked anyone at the school or in our neighborhood, they’d tell you, oh, yeah, they all four had it, it was terrible.
No, it has just been one problem scalp here.
My girl — my girl who refuses to let us shave her head, or clipper cut it — my girl has been clear of the situation since Tuesday, April 10th. That’s when she was clear of adult bugs, nits and anything resembling them. My girlfriend L, and really, God love her for doing this, picked eggs off my daughter’s head on Monday, April 9th. She had a couple of dead nits on her head on Friday, April 13th.
So technically, as of yesterday a.m. we have been “situation-free” for thirteen days. That’s 13. Can I say that more LOUDLY? Almost two weeks. We were in okay shape. I thought. I combed through her hair yesterday with tea tree oil, found nothing, braided it and sent her off. The school secretary (because our school nurse is only there two days a week) checked her out, thoroughly. All clear.
She comes home with an adult louse on her head, several nits and lots of eggs. (The Internet, in unison: Duh.) The principal refuses to check heads, refuses to send a “we have lice” letter home, (although they did send home a generic “here’s what to do if you have them” letter), refuses to pick up the phone and call parents.
We’re not going back to school this year.
Once again, the kids and I are doing TV Turn-off Week (April 23-29). This is our fourth year! And once again, it’s Stanley Cup play-offs, so my husband gets a pass to watch hockey. And celebrate 4:20. Damn, update that blog, dude.
That’s fair, I’m thinking. Hockey is different. I mean, hockey, hockey, hockey!!! (The kids and I don’t join him.)
I’m also thinking… “No Grey’s Anatomy???” Good thing there’s not a No Blogging Week. (Yes, I realize we should try for no computer time, too. But my kids don’t often play computer games, so that’s no big loss for them to go without. And blogging saves my sanity — what little of it is left. Plus, writing is my source of income. And Hockey God is a computer guy, so keyboarding = $$$ at my house. So don’t try to take our keyboards away!)
Are y’all doing the no TV thing at your houses?
Here’s a Q&A with Wacky Mommy, by Wacky Mommy:
Q: Only dirty sluts get lice. You are such a dirty slut.
A: Please phrase your question in the form of a question.
Q: Are you a dirty slut?
A: No. But the three parents from the other second-grade class, the ones who refused to play room parent and call the other parents, so I could make 25 calls instead of 100? They are dirty sluts. Also assholes for not helping.
How, oh how, Wacky Mommy, you ask, did you get your house and life so organized? People, you need to do this:
* Decide you’re moving, thus you need to get the house ready to sell. (Or you need to get your rental fixed up to get your deposits back.) Begin putting things in boxes.
* Change your whole outlook.
* Change your whole life.
(PS to the guys who think that it’s up to their wives to get them organized. No, no, no. All of this is not “woman’s work,” whatever the hell that outdated expression means. She needs you/you need her/do this together please, thank you.)
Honestly, you would not believe the number we’ve done on our house since we’ve started talking about relocating. My. Friends. Are. Jealous! Ha. (My friends are rarely jealous of me. Mostly they call me, saying things like, “Honey. I’m worried about you.” I love my friends, their loyalty, their relentlessness.)
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