Dear Internet,

You still there? Even with everything I’ve put you through the last few weeks? Whew. Close one, huh? Were you worried for my sanity? Don’t be, please. Although, Jesus God, it was a little hit or miss, eh? Luckily there was just enough cocoa left to bake a Volcano Cake tonight. How about a kitty picture? (Wacky Cat 2, ten years ago; photo by my sister.)

“Some people crack, you bake,” my husband just told me. Yeah, I crack eggs. That’s better than cracking up. I was putting the cake in the oven and reorganizing the kitchen. Life gets worse, then it gets better, then you do the whole thing all over again.

In Italian, “Peggio di cosi, si muore.” (Literally: “It can be worse than this — worse than this, you die.” Or something like that.) Or you could have a Neighbor from Hell like this one.

Here’s my other favorite — Wacky Cat 1 is grooming him. He got filthy at the pound. (Pic by my sis? Or my husband? Who knows.)

The rhodies are blooming, the honeysuckle has already inhaled the back fence — it is covered and nowhere to be seen. My hostilities? Gone. I turned over all six of our garden plots this week — so far we’ve planted potatoes, two rows of corn, yellow zucchini, two kinds of peppers and a tomato. We’ll plant bush beans later, more tomatoes, and I don’t know what else. Basil. We harvested what was left of the winter kale and my husband braised it for dinner last night with olive oil, garlic, onion and a dash of lime juice.

Kids? Still home. Homeschooling? Still going well. We’ve been having fun with this site (Wacky Girl: “Are you serious? These words are too hard!”), and this one and this one. We started out here. There are all kinds of preschool sites out there, with coloring sheets and fact sheets and all that. Wacky Boy has mostly been working through his sister’s old workbooks, doing word puzzles and matching games. For fun he loves the Yuckiest Site on the Internet and I Spy Fantasy. And Sesame Street. We’ll probably go to the science museum this week, possibly the World Forestry Center, or back to the zoo.

Honestly, who has time for school? I’m being flip — they miss their friends. I miss my quiet time. But why get them all, uh, de-loused, to be blunt, and then send them back to get lousy again? There is no point to that. And I don’t miss the scene there, the drama, the runny noses, the drinking fountains that don’t work, the vomiting, the volunteering.

(Note that in my mind “volunteering” is right there alongside “vomiting.” What the hell went wrong, formerly altruistic self? Where did you go?)

I don’t miss the crazy cafeteria and the special needs kids who need individual aides but will never have them. My kids are doing well in spite of the public school system, not because of it. I cannot say the same for a lot of the kids. They need help they are not getting and that both pisses me off and makes me feel helpless.

Principal and district are negotiating terms of getting a Lice Swat Team involved in the whole brouhaha. Because the school secretary, poking at the occasional kid’s head with a popsicle stick, with a look of visible disdain on her face? It is not cutting it. Wacky Cat 2 says:

love,

WM