Check out Figment.

My favorite essay I’ve ever written on the subject of chores.

How To NOT Do Your Homework

By Wackyboy & his friends

Chapter #1 1st you feed it to your dog, cat ect. If you do not have one then you must “accidentally” drop it in the sink

Chapter #2 2nd ( if chose to drop it in the sink) fold it in half 20 times and throw it over the fence.

Chapter #3 3rd well actually 2nd if you feed it to a cat or a dog . Then you go tell your teacher that your dog/cat ate your homework.

Chapter #4 Now it happens that some teachers give you waterproof homework. If this happens then you should tear it up and put it on your dad/mom’s salad.

Steve sent me this clip along with a note that said, At least I’m not this bad!

He’s wrong, he is. Cuz when our girl was waiting for the bus, for her first day of middle school, with a bunch of kids she has never seen before in her life, Daddy wanted to check on her. So he dropped off her brother, buzzed back home, then, uh… yelled out to her…

“HI HONEY, I, UH, FORGOT SOMETHING! HAVE A GOOD FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!”

She loves him so.

“it’s the first day of school/
and the boys are watching…”

“OLD VET

PLEASE HELP”

love ya, Laura.

What better way to celebrate spring and International Women’s Day than to throw a nice little peace rally over at the Portland Public Schools World Headquarters? So my friends and I are doing that, next Monday, March 8th at 6 p.m. in beautiful North Portland, Ore., at the BESC, 501 N. Dixon (2 blocks from the east end of Broadway bridge).

My friends, and the rally’s supporters, include (but are not limited to) a bunch of exceptionally cool and smart moms and our friends (yeah, as a matter of fact, they blog, too), Jobs with Justice, Whitefeather Peace House, Students United for Nonviolence and the Oregon Peace Institute.

Also the American Friends Service Committee’s Peace Building Program is endorsing our rally.

And the vets are speaking out, too.

(Add to the list of supporters: Recruiter Watch PDX; War Resisters League, Portland Chapter; and The Military & Draft Counseling Project. And my husband, Mr. More Hockey/Less War, himself.)

Everyone? Thank you for the support, it means a whole lot to me. Dear readers, I think it’s important to have friends and allies who love peace as much as I do, y’know? You want a little speech? OK, ready? I think that peace is something that people shouldn’t just want “in theory,” I think it’s something that people should practice and fight for every day, even if it’s just a little bit. And yes, I see no small amount of irony in “fighting for peace,” i mean, how ridiculous is that? I will, though. I will fight for peace.

I will also light my candles every day for our soldiers, both abroad and at home, and pray that they come home safely. I want us all safe.

So for me, “fighting for peace” sometimes means nothing more than raising my hand and saying, Our country is at war, children should not be on military bases.

I really don’t think it’s smart for anyone to try to get between mamas and their babies. A person could get in trouble doing that. Just sayin’.

So… so, so, so. It’s not enough I’m fighting my own demons, now i’m fighting other people’s demons, too. Wacky Mommy, Super-Hero at large. Uh, yeah. What are you scared of? Don’t be scared, hon. Work it on out.

Seriously? Yes. Seriously. I am upset about Starbase, about the need to throw a little peace rally/protest, it kind of pisses me off. I think it’s nice that it will be on International Women’s Day, but that isn’t, like, a comfort to me. I think it’s bullshit that women have to keep saying, No you can’t have our sons (and daughters, nowadays, too), no you can’t have access to the children. That is the bullshit that’s been going on since time immemorial, no?

Also, I’m speaking out in honor of my late friend, Terry Olson, who was just the coolest dude; my late father, who was a big ol’ 6 foot 4 pacifist (my mom jokes that he didn’t have to fight, “He just stood up and that ended it”); and my late friend David Johnson, who signed up to be a cook in the Army and instead died being a gunner in Iraq.

God rest all three of their amazing souls.

Anyway, if you are in or near Portland, Ore., USA and would like to join us, please do. Send me an e-mail or leave a note in comments if you want more details.

Peace, always, peace, love, peace,

— WM

(For more on the military’s recruitment of our students, see this article by David Goodman in Mother Jones.)

me to the kids in the car on the way home: “I want to make you as miserable every day about doing your homework as you make me miserable every frickin’ day about not doing your homework, see?”

the kids (silently to each other): Don’t make eye contact with that woman, we’ll be fine.

i rock at motherhood.

ouch.

Lovely blog.

The Tangled Nest

we had our little buddies, ages 4 & 6, over for dinner and play tonight. they are so good, I forgot they were here. seriously. their mama came by to get them and i was all, Nice to see you, but why are you here?

our kittens are not always nice to guests.

wacky boy to friend: “The one cat is mean to kids and the other cat just doesn’t like kids. but the other one is okay.”

i made waffles (“…with WHITE flour!” wacky girl told her dad, gleam in eye) the special way. that’s right. with white flour. cinnamon sugar, organic milk and eggs, REAL butter and REAL maple syrup. won award for mother of the year, yes, that’s right.

but i’m thinking, why is it that as a mother, your worth is measured by how good the waffles taste and how entertaining the puppet shows are?

just wondering.

because the content of my character, my love of books, my ability to spin gold from straw, my large and impressive vocabulary, my inability to properly use capital letters, my newfound skill at knotting scarves… shouldn’t that matter, a little?