I’m glad the sky is painted blue,
and the earth is painted green,
with such a lot of nice fresh air
all sandwiched in between.

(anon.)

Well, well, well. When there are no kids at my house, it is extremely quiet. Also I got a little lonely. But not too lonely! Hockey God took me to Sal’s for dinner (salmon for me, veggie lasagna for him). We’ve been going to Pause non-stop, and why? Because Pause kicks ass. We love Pause. But Sal’s is alright, too. Then we drove over to Vancouver, Wash., to see “Knocked Up,” the new film by the “Forty Year Old Virgin” Guy.

(That’s how I refer to him, cuz I can never remember his name. FYOVG.)

(His real name is Judd Apatow.)

Hockey God thought it needed a major re-write. I thought it was funny as hell. We were both right.

WE SLEPT IN. We had tamales, potatoes and fresh fruit salad for breakfast, and a pot of coffee. We got the kids from mom’s (they had a great time, of course), stopped by the library, went out for lunch, now Hockey God’s off to his game. They may win, they may lose, they may push the other players down. It’s hockey, it’s hard to say.

Perfect day today. Perfect weekend.

My Grandma is an interesting chick. She’s funny and loud, a great cook, a good friend and listener. I’ve been meaning for years now (since I was in college) to help her jot down some memories. She doesn’t type, use a computer or take shorthand. I do occasionally write, so there you have it.

She turns 87 next Tuesday (it’s my mom’s birthday, too! Happy birthday, Mom!) so Internet, tell my Grandma and Mom happy birthday, would you? And now, for a 13:

13. Grandparents, parents (and uh, me) tend to sometimes tell you the same story over and over and over. Have you noticed this? Not if you’re really listening they don’t. I started asking questions and off we went…

12. I started out by asking her if it was okay if I wrote some things down for my kids, so they can remember her. Maybe a few anecdotes, a little bit of a family tree. Then we added recipes. My grandma and I love recipes. (See here, here and here for a few favorites.)

11. Next thing I know, she’s telling me about the time she and my grandfather ran off to the Memphis Zoo in the middle of the night.

10. Then she’s pouring her heart out, talking about my grandpa, and my dad (my Grandma loved my dad and stood by him when he was so sick), and we’re talking about all this, and about all the places she loved to go camping when her kids were little kids. To her, it seems like that was yesterday. My kids are little kids right now and some days? It feels like it will last forever. But I know it won’t. (I am looking forward to them growing up and dreading it, too.) Time goes so fast. You know that, but you don’t really know it until you’re almost 90, I guess. I made a list of all of her favorite getaways and am including that in the book.

9. The book? Yes. We’re turning it into a book. We can print it through Cafe Press. (PS — Shameless Commerce Plug — You know I sell Wacky Mommy gear at Cafe Press, yes? Go buy some!!!) I am so psyched about this book. She can sell it to her buddies at church, to her family back home, to the neighbors, to her own kids (ha, ha). Funny, eh? She wants to donate the proceeds to Meals on Wheels. (Thank you, Meals on Wheels, for visiting my Grandma five days a week.) I already have I don’t even know how many pages typed up. Twenty or so? I’m shooting for something around one hundred pages. Mebbe one twenty five. And I’ve typed up a bunch of recipes.

8. Including this one. It’s perfect for Fourth of July:

SHOYU CHICKEN
2 lbs. chicken
¼ cup oil
¼ cup soy sauce
¼ cup brown sugar
Garlic (1 clove)
½ tsp. grated ginger

Mix. Marinate. Bake at 350 degrees 1 hour or barbeque, turning twice. Sauce can be thickened with cornstarch.

7. Which reminds me. I need to get her potato salad recipe. And the recipe for the salad she makes with butter lettuce and milk dressing.

6. I’ve found out all kinds of stuff about our family, the Depression, World War II, her life. For instance, her brother was a bootlegger. And she and my Grandpa used to own a store, back home in Arkansas.

5. My mom is psyched, too — she has a family tree she’s going to send me, so we can include that in the front. It goes back to 1730!! Geez, who knew? That’s on my Grandpa’s side. And my Grandma’s side goes back to her grandparents, around the 1860s? My mom is going to keep researching.

4. It has made us closer, talking. I’ve been trying to call her at least every other day, and interviewing her for an hour or so at a time. Sometimes it’s a little much for her, tripping down memory lane. It can be a little intense.

3. But her mind is so clear and her memories are so strong. I’m grateful for this.

2. It means a lot to my mom.

1. My cousin and I are planning to add a memories section to the back, with our favorite stories about her. And we’re going to put a section of “Grandma-isms” in there, too. Fun!! Happy Thursday, everyone!

“The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been.”
— Madeleine L’Engle, writer (1918- )

“Words are things; and a small drop of ink / Falling like dew upon a thought, produces / That which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think.”
— Lord Byron, poet (1788-1824)

me, this afternoon: “I’m going to write for a while.”

Wacky Girl: “You always write! That’s all you do!”

me: “You should be glad you have a mother who’s an artist. You could have some boring old mother.”

Wacky Girl, leaving the room and calling out over her shoulder: “Writing. Is. Not. ART!”

I’ve started writing up my Grandma’s life story. She’s 87 next month. She’s a pistol. That’s what everyone says when they meet her: “Your Grandma is a pistol!” I’m like, damn straight.

You know her a little from what I’ve written here, here and here. She of the Coconut Cooky fame. She can tell a damn story. I wish I could share it with you, but I can’t. But once we get it published on Cafe Press you can order a copy. Pictures, recipes and all.

So, Internet, is writing art? Or not?

WM

“I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often, but I’m well preserved.”

— Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy (1890 – 1995)

(i turn 43 this weekend. What??? wm)

“Many people hear voices when no one is there. Some of them are called mad and are shut up in rooms where they stare at the walls all day. Others are called writers and they do pretty much the same thing.”

— Margaret Chittenden, writer

Dear Internet,

Are you out there, or what? Why no comments? WTF? I mean, really — WTFF? (My mom’s favorite expression: “What the fucking fuck?” Yes, she says this in front of my children. “Ouch, my freakin’ ears!” — “The Simpsons.”)

I’m e-mailing agents. Rather, I’m compiling a list of all the agents who have previously rejected me, so I don’t bother them again.

It’s a fairly long list. I need to change my strategy. You know what I’m thinking I need to do? When I talk on the phone with my granny, I need to write down every freakin’ thing she says, and get that published. (more…)

“The most powerful prayer, one
well nigh omnipotent, and the
worthiest work of all is the
outcome of a quiet mind.”

— Meister Eckhart

“If You Should Meet a Crocodile”
(anon.)
If you should meet a Crocodile
Don’t take a stick and poke him;
Ignore the welcome in his smile,
Be careful not to stroke him.
For as he sleeps upon the Nile,
He thinner gets and thinner;
And whene’er you meet a Crocodile
He’s ready for his dinner.”

“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.”
–Eleanor Roosevelt, diplomat, author, and lecturer (1884-1962)

I came across this again today (from “A Room of One’s Own” — and why is it that all that anyone ever remembers is “…a woman must have… a room of her own…” when there is so much more to it? WM):

“…a woman must have money and a room of her own is she is to write fiction; and that, as you will see, leaves the great problem of the true nature of woman and the true nature of fiction unsolved.”
— Virginia Woolf

“True remorse is never just a regret over consequences; it is a regret over motive.”
— Mignon McLaughlin, author (1915-)

(I miss my doggie. WM)

“Writing is like driving a car at night. You can only see as far as the headlights, but you make the whole trip that way.”
— E.L. Doctorow, writer (1931- )

and (just as importantly) from a WM diary entry, 4/6/85:

“The object of painting is not to cover the wall. It’s to empty the can.”
— Homer Groening (Matt Groening’s dad, also an artist)

Remember this, ladies, as we head into margarita/mojito season:

“It’s OK to drink, just don’t drink and drink.”

— WM and Zip

“What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?”

–Ursula K. LeGuin, author (1929- )

from Zip:

“The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.”
— anon.

(Unless you’re me, then there’s always a Beastie Boys song playing somewhere in the background.)

Homeschooling, Day 8:

(more…)