“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.”

–Ingrid Bergman

From George Bernard Shaw:

“This is the true joy of life: the being used up for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clot of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.”

Yeah, that’s me alright — a regular force of nature. And this may be all you’re getting from me this week…

Book of the week: I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being A Woman by Nora Ephron. She is a funny, funny, funny lady. Sorry, I could never hope to be even one-tenth as funny as she is, so I will not try.

Christmas pageants are a lot of work, it turns out. If I was into pharmaceuticals I’d be taking a Valium right now.

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See this. And have a happy weekend! We’re decorating the tree, listening to “Here Comes Suzy Snowflake” and baking chocolate chip cookies.

It’s a Winter Fucking Wonderland over here, to quote Wacky Grandpa.

“Maybe next time I see you I’ll have a little one strapped to my chest. I’m looking forward to it — I really need a vacation from work. I’m taking three weeks paternity leave.”

— dad to dad, overheard by WM at Sohbet Coffeehouse

“I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to have a holiday season to emphasize it?”

— Charlie Brown

“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.”

— Will Rogers, humorist (1879-1935)

So you all know my husband, the inimitable Hockey God. He found the funniest new blog — Overheard In PDX.

Here are my two favorites so far:

Put it on lay-away

Girl #1 (In Massage Chair): “Do you think I could marry this thing?”

Girl #2 (Standing in front of her): “Maybe, but it would leave after you whored around with the shower massager.”

– Pioneer Square inside of Sharper Image
— Overheard by Jay

Pennyless is Timelessness
Teenager: “Dude, can you spare some change?”

Man: “Sure, kid.”

Teenager: “Thanks, that’s cool. So, how’s it going for you today?”

Man: “What can I say? It’s Friday.”

Teenager (bugeyed): “It’s Friday? Oh man, I am so screwed.”

– Blue Moon Cafe
— Overheard by Rich

(PS — If you want to read about our Disney on Ice experience, go look at Hockey God’s blog.)

Happy Sunday, everyone!

WM

From Aldous Huxley: “I met, not long ago, a young man who aspired to become a novelist. Knowing that I was in the profession, he asked me to tell him how he should set to
work to realize his ambition. I did my best to explain. ‘The first thing,’ I said, ‘is to buy quite a lot of paper, a bottle of ink, and a pen. After that you merely have to write.'”

From Steve Martin: “I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.”

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Because nothing says “Tuesday” like a Gandhi quote:

“Seven blunders of the world that lead to violence: wealth without work, pleasure without conscience, knowledge without character, commerce without morality, science without humanity, worship without sacrifice, politics without principle.”

— Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)

No recipes today, sorry. But here is a good article for you to read:

Rosie O’D on The View, by one Melanie McFarland.

It’s a good article. But I’m wondering, why are they (the network execs) not offering us our own TV show? We are coffee-klatching like crazy here. Can you imagine a roundtable with Our Lady of Amalah, Dooce, Zoot, and Rockstar Mommy? Round it out with an international perspective from Planet Nomad and a fiction writer like Leslie Gould (mom of four, military wife, active in community and still finds time to do her art). I could bring everyone coffee; I choke on-camera. Also, I develop nervous tics, or I stare at the red light like Cindy Brady.

Anyway — splendid idea, no? I guess physically getting everyone in the same room would present a little bit of a challenge.

It’s raining here. How is it there?

From last night’s episode:

Earl: “Van Halen started with two brothers. We could be Van Hickey! And Ralph.”

Ralph: “I bet if we played with real instruments, we could have sex with real girls! Yeah, rock ‘n’ roll, honey!”