STUFFED GRAPE LEAVES

One 16-oz jar grape leaves
2 T oil
1 onion, minced
3/4 cup raw basmati rice
1/4 cup pine nuts, toasted
1/2 tsp ground allspice
2 C stock (divided)
salt & pepper
2 T minced parsley
1 T lemon juice

Rinse grape leaves, pat dry, trim stems and set aside.

Heat oil in large skillet, add onion, saute. Stir in rice, pine nuts, allspice and 1 C stock (add more liquid if using brown basmati). Season with salt & pepper; bring to boil then let simmer until rice is cooked. Transfer filling to bowl, stir in parsley and let cool.

To stuff:
Place grape leaves, shiny side down, with stem end toward you. Place one tablespoon filling near stem end, fold in sides of leaf over the filling, roll the leaf away from you, and wrap firmly but not too tightly. Repeat.

Transfer grape leaves to 3 1/2-4 quart slow cooker, arranging in layers. Pour remaining stock, 1 T olive oil and lemon juice over stuffed leaves. Add water if needed. Cover. Cook on low for 4-6 hours. Uncover and cool. Serve at room temperature.

Still working with my Granny on her memoirs. Hoo-boy! It’s more exciting than a trip on the MAX train. (I only wish I was kidding.) You need a recipe from her, don’t you? It’s a little enigmatic, just like my dear Gran, but I think you will be able to decipher it.

Bon appetit!

WM

PINEAPPLE UPSIDE-DOWN CAKE

* Cake mix: Yellow, Supermoist Duncan Hines

* 1 big can + 1 little can pineapple (instead of using water to make the cake, use juice from the can)

* Make brown sugar/butter: Melt ½ cube butter, add brown sugar to butter, keep adding it as long as it can handle it.

* Bake in two 8 x 8 pans, greased (no flour)

* Sugar/butter, then pineapples, then cherries (fit them between the pineapple rings), then cake mix.

Have y’all been having trouble sending me e-mails? Because I deleted my e-mail address from my “About” page and completely spaced out on it for six months or so? It’s back on there. If you want to send me hott sex tips. Or recipes. Or what-not.

Happy Sunday, babes!

Love,

WM

From my mother-in-law…

Spice Mix

This spice mix is nice with fish.

* Cumin
* Oregano
* Mint
* Chiles
* Black pepper

Or, if you’re in more of a beans and rice mood…

Creole Beans & Rice
Serve with cornbread, sour cream or plain yogurt.

3 cups dried kidney, black or pinto beans
1/2 teaspoon cayenne
1/8 teaspoon allspice

for salsa:

3 green onions, diced
1 cuke, diced
2 tomatoes, diced
3/4 cup fresh parsley
1/4 cup vegetable oil
3 1/2 tablespoons cider vinegar
salt to taste
hot sauce

Saute vegetables:
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 small onions, chopped
7 garlic cloves, pressed
3 celery stalks, diced
1 cup carrots, diced
2 or 3 green peppers, chopped
1/3 cup tomato paste
1/4 cup red wine
1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
1 1/2 teaspoon brown sugar
2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
1 1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon cayenne
1/4 teaspoon ground allspice

2 1/2 cups uncooked brown rice

* sour cream

* cornbread, butter & honey

1. Cook the beans with the cayenne and allspice.

2. Combine the salsa ingredients; set aside.

3. Saute the onions and garlic in oil on medium heat until onions are translucent. Add the celery and carrots; cook several minutes longer, stirring occasionally.

Add the green pepper and saute vegetables are tender. Whisk together the tomato paste, wine and vinegar, brown sugar, mustard, herbs and spices. Add to sauteed vegetables. In a large pot, combine the (mostly) drained beans and vegetables; stir together. Simmer covered for 30 minutes.

4. Cook the rice.

5. Serve with a scoop or two of rice, topped with the beans, topped with salsa.

Bon appetit!

WM

If you want a delicious Chocolate Sundae for your birthday (or for any other reason), here’s what you need (recipe by Wacky Girl):

wip cream
cookie dough ice cream
vanilla ice cream
chocolate syrup
chocolate chip cookies
Oreos
gummie worms

We just got back from the ocean — Seaside! It is touristy and loud in Seaside, which is why we always go to Neskowin. But it’s fun for the kids. But not for the poor octopus at the Seaside Aquarium! Nowhere to hide. Aquarium people, you are sadists.

We skipped Pig ‘n’ Pancake and went to Pudgy’s instead. Wacky Girl would not recommend you go to Pudgy’s (although my crab ‘n’ cheddar omelette — something about the coast makes me want to ‘n’ everything — was delicious and so were the chocolate chip pancakes shaped like Mickey Mouse). (Wacky Boy: “Is that real dead crab?” Then later, at the aquarium, “Like those ones?” Who’s the sadist, eh?)

One of the waitresses at Pudgy’s had a little downtime and decided to clean all the windows, inside and out. This made Wacky Girl want to hurl. (A rhyme.)

Don’t trust a breakfast place where the waitress has downtime during mealtime. It has a lounge-y nightclubby feel, Pudgy’s. Then when we were leaving, I spotted the lounge through a separate entrance. Gamblers anon. needed.

We also had double-decker cones at this cool little place where an older man made the waffle cones hot ‘n’ fresh. (See? It’s ‘n’ again.) I can’t remember the name of the place, but it was right across from the other ice cream place, where they also sell espresso, and right down the street from that one gift shop.

With all the sand toys.

Off to water the parched flowers. More later…

love,

WM

Now let’s see… what haven’t I run? My grandma’s Banana Bread recipe. (Extra-good with chocolate chips.) (What isn’t?)

Granny’s Banana Bread

1/4 cup shortening or butter
1/2 cup sugar
2 eggs
2 med. mashed bananas (or substitute shredded zucchini for zucchini bread — one cup or so?)
2 cups flour
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. soda
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 cup buttermilk or milk
1 cup chopped nuts (optional)
1 tsp. vanilla

Cream shortening or butter. Mix well. Add eggs and bananas and mix well. Add salt, baking powder, soda and cinnamon to flour. Mix. Add to creamed butter, sugar and bananas. Mix. Add milk, vanilla, nuts and mix (but don’t overmix). Pour into two loaf pans, and bake at 360 degrees for about 45 minutes. Test with toothpick in middle.

Bon Appetit!

WM & her Granny

My temp job ended today, and no new job is in sight. That’s OK. I type for a living, remember? I just get paid in love bucks. I’ve started hunting for an agent again, in earnest. Wish me luck. I have a completed fiction manuscript, this blog (I think it would make a nifty parenting manual and/or memoir), a children’s story (in English and Spanish!) and a few essays. And my left kidney. Something will sell.

So, for now, goodbye work. Goodbye desk and my own coffee mug and a paycheck every other week. Goodbye, vending machines. Goodbye loud, funny, amazing co-workers who said things like, “Great shoes!” and “I like that skirt,” and “Wow, you type really fast! I wish I typed fast like that…” without even knowing how much it would mean to me.

These recipes are both from Zip, who always comes through:

Cheese Straws
Makes at least 10 servings

1/2 pound cheddar or other hard, flavorful cheese
1/3 pound parmesan cheese
2 cups all-purpose flour
Pinch cayenne pepper
1/2 cup chilled butter (1 stick), cut into chunks, plus a little more for greasing the baking sheet
Few drops ice water, if necessary
Coarse salt (optional)

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Grate cheese by hand or in food processor and place in bowl. Pulse flour and cayenne in food processor. Add butter and process until butter and flour are combined. Pulse in cheese.

Turn dough out onto counter or cutting board and knead by hand, adding a few drops of ice water if necessary. (You may wrap in plastic and refrigerate for 2 days, taking it out for about a half hour before proceeding.)

Roll out into a rectangle about 1/4 inch thick on a lightly floured surface or between 2 sheets of plastic wrap, then cut into 1/2-inch-wide strips as long as you like. Place on a lightly greased baking sheet and sprinkle with salt, if using. Bake until golden brown, 5 to 8 minutes. Serve hot, warm or at room temperature.

Crockpot Vegan Chili

1 can vegetable broth
2 cans kidney beans, drained, rinsed
1 can garbanzo beans, drained
2 cans chopped tomatoes in puree
1 can whole kernel corn, drained
1 onion, chopped
1 bell pepper, chopped
2 stalks celery, chopped
2 cloves of garlic, chopped
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 tablespoon basil
1 tablespoon oregano

Combine ingredients in crockpot, heat on high to start, then low for at least 2 hours.

A few links, and a recipe, because I think you need ’em. Also a tiny bit of advice.

Love,

WM

For the kiddies:
Eloise — “I am a city child/I live at the Plaza.”
The World’s Youngest Blogger
Nancy Drew

From my kids’ wish lists:

Wacky Girl: 1) big house 2) big screen TV 3) lifetime supply of candy

Wacky Boy: 1) big house with a swamp in his room 2) a pen with 200 gallons of ink so it wouldn’t run out of ink

For breakfast this weekend:
from J’s thoughts and musings:

Company French Toast

1 ½ Sticks Butter
6 Eggs
1 ½ tsp. Cinnamon
2 cups Milk
1 ½ cup Brown Sugar
Syrup
*White Bread (Pepperidge Farm Toasting)

Melt butter in bottom of 9×13 casserole dish.
Add brown sugar and cinnamon: Mix and spread on bottom
Cut Crust off bread (personal choice here….) and layer bread 2 slices deep.

In separate bowl:
Beat together eggs and milk
Pour mixture over bread in casserole dish
Cover and refrigerate overnight

Bake uncovered 30-40 minutes in 350º
Drizzle maple syrup and broil until brown and bubbly.
Broil for 5 minutes or less.

*Note: The Canadian White bread is just as good as the Pepperidge Farm bread.

for you foodies:
The Smitten Kitchen
Ms. Dorie
Epicurious
and one just for the kids

Throw caution to the wind! Go bake a cake or make a vegetable dip or something. Cheese straws, perhaps.

For you gardeners… Were you aware that Miracle-Gro is now making an Organic Choice formula? Will wonders never cease?
Gardening With Lil Children
Rough Terrain
The Edible Schoolyard

(And for those of you needing to de-stress…)
Just Bubbles
Sex Tips for the Rest of Us (wherein women’s breasts do not bob up at top of website, thank you!)
…and last, but certainly not least, we have “Lock the Bedroom Door.” All I can say is — whoa.

Dear Wacky Mommy,

Losing Hope

Dear Hope,

Yes. Who can turn the world on with her smile? Who can take a nothing date, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile? Well, it’s you girl and you should know it! With each glance and every little movement you show it… Love is all around, no need to waste it…

No, jeez, of course you can’t have it all, and thank God for small favors because what would you do with it all once you got it? But you can have 1) Grey’s Anatomy re-runs 2) Bosom Buddies on DVD 3) some flowers to watch grow 4) that next breath you inhale. And that, for tonight, is enough.

Love,

WM

My Great-Auntie Vera passed this week. She was 86! I’m sad that we lost her, but how cool is it that she lived to almost 90? Cool, indeed. Yay for long-lived family members. She was funny and sweet. She was a great cook, and sent us a family/church cookbook for a wedding gift. Then my grandma swiped it, then she gave it to my auntie and uncle. I finally tracked it down and got it back. HA! Ha to you, grandma! (Who is herself 87 this July.)

Auntie Vera’s husband, my Great-Uncle Bunny, was best-known for his threat to my aunts and uncles, when they were diving into the river: “If you durn kids drown yourselves I’m gonna whup ya!” It is threats like that that make a family strong.

Here are two recipes from the cookbook for you, in her honor. And really, when you’re from Arkansas like my mom’s family, there is no point to life without bacon, fried. So both recipes include it.

I love you, Aunt Vera. You really were the best.

CORNBREAD SALAD
(from my cousin Debbie)

1/2 lb. bacon, fried
4 tomatoes, chopped
baked cornbread
2 bell peppers, chopped
1 onion, chopped
1/2 cup sweet pickle, chopped
1 cup mayonnaise
1 tablespoon sugar
1/2 cup sweet pickle juice

Crumble cornbread in bottom of casserole dish. Layer onion, tomato and pepper. Crumble bacon on top. Mix sweet pickles, mayonnaise, sugar and sweet pickle juice together. Beat well. Pour over top layers.

Fried Rice
(from my cousin Pam)

1 cup onion, chopped
1 cup celery, chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 medium bell pepper, chopped
1 cup cooked rice
2-3 tablespoons soy sauce (or to taste)
salt
pepper
6-8 slices bacon, cut up

Fry bacon, add celery, onion, garlic and bell pepper. Fry till tender. Add rice, soy sauce, salt and pepper to taste. Mix well. Cook on low heat 10 to 20 minutes.

MamaToo just posted the best Pasta Alfredo recipe. Go grab it and print it out.

Oh, chocolate. We love you, chocolate. We love you when we are PMS, we love you at weddings, we love you during parties. And this week, we loved you during women’s group on Wednesday.

My Wacky Friend got this from America’s Test Kitchen, and I got it from her, for you. She says: “It kind of looks complicated, but it was really easy and my son helped me quite a bit, so I recommend it as a ‘Martha Stewart’ activity with the kiddos!”

Flourless Chocolate Cake

8 large eggs, cold
1 pound bittersweet or semi-sweet chocolate, coarsely chopped
½ pound unsalted butter (2 sticks), cut into ½-inch chunks
¼ C strong coffee* or coffee liqueur (optional)
Confectioners’ sugar or cocoa powder for decoration

1. Adjust oven rack to lower middle rack and heat oven to 325 degrees.

2. Line bottom of an 8-inch springform pan with parchment and grease pan sides. Cover pan underneath and along sides with heavy-duty foil and set in a large roasting pan.

3. Bring kettle of water to a boil.

4. Beat eggs with a hand-held mixer at high speed until volume doubles to approximately 1 quart, about 5+ minutes. (By setting the hand held mixer on a pile of books, you can avoid having to hold the mixer for five minutes while you beat the eggs to a froth. Alternately, you can have your child hold the mixer, thus involving them in a fun activity and keeping them out of other things for 5 minutes.) :-)

5. Meanwhile, melt chocolate and butter (and coffee or liqueur, if using) in a large heat-proof bowl set over a pan of simmering water until smooth and very warm (about 115 degrees), stirring once or twice. (For the microwave, melt chocolate and butter together at 50 percent power until smooth and warm, 4-6 minutes, stirring once or twice.)

6. Fold 1/3 of egg foam into chocolate mixture using a large rubber spatula until only a few streaks of egg are visible; fold in ½
remaining foam, then the last of the foam, until the mixture is completely mixed.

7. Scrape the batter into prepared springform pan and smooth surface with a rubber spatula. (Thoroughly lick spatula and bowl – also a great activity for salmonella-immune children.)

8. Set roasting pan on oven rack and pour enough boiling water to come about halfway up the side of the spring form pan.

9. Bake until cake has risen slightly, edges are just beginning to set, and a thin glazed crust has formed on the surface (an instant-read thermometer inserted in the center will read 140 degrees), about 22-25 minutes. (If using a 9-inch pan, rather than 8-inch, the baking time will be 18-20 minutes.)

10. Remove the cake pan from water bath and set on a wire rack; cool to room temperature. Cover and refrigerate overnight to mellow (up to 4 days).

11. About 30 minutes prior to serving, remove from springform pan sides, invert cake on a plate covered with waxed paper, peel off the parchment pan liner, and turn cake right side up on a serving platter.

12. Sieve light sprinkling of confectioners’ sugar or cocoa powder over the cake to decorate, if desired.

Bon Appetit!

WM