“Whatsoever affliction assails me methinks I have the keys of my prison in mine own hand, and no remedy presents itself so soon to my heart as mine own sword.”

— John Donne, “Biathanotos,” 1646

(For my former PSU English prof, Jack Cooper.)

Wacky Girl: You know how to Irish dance?

Mini-Nekkid Neighbor: Yeah, I learned it on the computer.

Hmm. Want to know what I did tonight? First I took my daughter to tap dance. Her tap-dancing grandmother will be thrilled when I tell her. Then we came home and had a fast dinner, and drove over to Jefferson High School for a little meeting.

A meeting that numerous parents decided to boycott, so guess who was there? That’s right. Me. Hockey God. And three other parents. That makes — five parents. And three kids (who raced around our table like crazy hooligans, but mainly behaved. Thank you, kids. Here’s a cooky.)

Who was there, besides us and the kids? Oh, about fifteen, or possibly it was twenty-eight, Portland Public Schools administrators and staff. Again — hmm. Some of you would be a little, I don’t know, freaked out by this. Or perhaps you would boycott and say You should have given us more notice nyah nyah. (I heard about the meeting last week, as did some other parents.)

Anyhow, you are not me, and that’s what makes me Wacky Mommy and makes you… I dunno. Grouchy and blog-less? (Ha! Triple ha ha ha!) (Pours herself a triple espresso. Thinks about her manuscript that she will work on later tonight, dammit. Or possibly tomorrow.)

First, I listened to The Administrators and Staff. Then, they listened to me (and Hockey God, and the other parents.) Then we all had a cooky. (I brought a large bowl of chocolate crinkle cookies with me. Chocolate crinkles, how I adore you. That is the recipe I used, that I just linked to. It’s deluxe.)

Hmm. Where was I? Yes. Then I listened to them, they listened to me, they listened to the other parents, we listened to them again and we made a nice big list of:

What We Want For Jefferson High School

It turns out we all want the same things. Who knew? Then we had another cooky, then we all went home. If you’d like to talk about this, you can send me an e-mail, or leave a note in comments. Better yet, drop a note to the school and cc the district.

Regards,

WM

PS — There was some talk of building an ice hockey rink at the school, for my husband and son, but no promises.

UPDATED 10 a.m. Monday morning…
wm

The meeting scheduled for Monday evening (Dec. 17th) at Jefferson High IS taking place. Community members will have a chance to discuss educational opportunities at Jefferson with district and Jefferson representatives

The meeting on Tuesday, December 18 with Superintendent Smith at PPS district headquarters (501 N. Dixon) will also take place.

A Conversation With Carole Smith

Please join Portland PTA Council for a conversation with Superintendent Carole Smith about the future of PPS schools. Where are the challenges and opportunities for our PPS community? How can parents connect with the district and best advocate for our kids? What is going well or not so well at your school? How can PPS better meet your students’ and schools’ needs?

When: Tuesday, December 18
7:00 pm

Where: PPS District Offices
Blanchard Building Atrium
501 N. Dixon
Portland, 97217

Coffee and dessert will be served!

RSVP or direct any questions to Russ Albertson, President, Portland Council PTA, ralbertsonlegend at hotmail dot com

And you didn’t.

Rock and roll, honey!

And for those of you suffering from a lil seasonal depression, perhaps brought on by the holidays, perhaps by the weather, or perhaps it’s just a sense of ennui, you’re feeling “too much of the world” right now, I’d like to say:

“Keep passing the open windows.”
— John Irving

Oh, that BlackFriend, my BBFF (Black Best Friend Forever), she’s all “write, write!” I’ll give you bullets and that is it:

* I am job-hunting again.

* I am working on my manuscript and getting distracted by numerous things including 1) laundry 2) ringing phones 3) cats 4) husband wanting things 5) children wanting things 6) shopping for a. groceries and b. Christmas and c. baking

* We’re not moving.

* Didn’t see that coming, did you?

* Sigh.

* Puts cat out, calls it a day.

* Last night we bought a new car. Today we had my husband’s company holiday dinner, my son’s classroom’s puppet show and my daughter’s church Christmas pageant dress rehearsal.

* I’m wiped out.

* kisses.

* WM

Dear Thursday 13ers and All of You Usual Suspects,

I’m dedicating this week’s Thursday Thirteen to you (and you and you and you)… Why? Because you deserve it.

13) I love my readers for a lot of reasons. Number 13 would have to be — You’re pretty good about keeping your head on straight, even when I’m not.

12) You laugh at my bad jokes.

11) And my good jokes. Um. Make that “good joke”? I think I’ve maybe told one good joke here. At some point.

10) Whether I’m talking about General Hospital, school politics, sex, recipes, gardening, whatever, there’s always someone out there who can relate.

9) I’ve “met” all kinds of people I would have never met otherwise, all ages, all types, all parts of the world. It’s cool.

8) I like being able to help, if someone’s having a hard time, or needs a question answered, or just wants to kvetch.

7) My readers are rilly, rilly, rilly funny. It adds some lightness to my day, when people leave comments.

6) However, the trolls can stay quiet.

5) People are usually pretty supportive, even when I’m being an idiot.

4) Y’all go with the flow, which I appreciate.

3) You’re pretty.

2) You’re handsome.

1) Happy Holidays!!!!!

Love,

WM

Y’all,

You really do not want to start hurling insults in my neighborhood unless you know what you’re doing. No fighting! Only love! No fighting! Try saying this, instead:

You’re right! Why didn’t I see this all along?

Let’s be careful out there.

Love,

WM

PS — here is who’s in for NAWACOTID. Some bloggers are adapting our weekly holiday to include “no arguing with assclowns in real life, OR on the Internet.” Excellent idea. send me an e-mail or leave a note in comments if you want to be added. Cheers.

Jack Bog
BETSY
Hockey God
Vixen’s in
Zip. My Zip is IN.
Qanzas, all the way from Kansas
Qtpies7!
J. Lynne
Grand Poobah
Melissa Lion
Kevin Allman
TERRY OLSON
Me.

“Sure, you wear nice shoes but you are not the cutest baby in the nursery. I trust you understand the point I am making.”

You know that thing that always happens, how when you get a tax refund, and you’ve spent it 1,500 ways before it arrives, on things like, you know.

This and that.

Crack cocaine or whatnot.

Prostitutes.

Some new high heels.

Maybe a little toward the credit card bills.

Perhaps some new shoes and jeans for the kids because, damn. My dad was right. They really do grow like weeds.

My mom, circa 1974-1980: “Didn’t I just buy you new shoes last week?”

Then your husband calls, “Can I take you out for lunch?” And for once, your hair is clean, you’ve actually showered and are wearing clothes that are not an old shirt of your husband’s and a pair of sweats, and, “Yes, I’d love that!” (Lentil Garden in Beaverton, Indian buffet, great food.) Then the very exact second you’ve finished lunch, the cell phone rings and it’s the mechanic and guess what?

Yer right! It’s not just the whoozy on your car, it’s the whatzy, too, and since the car is almost 20 years old, is it worth it to fix it? (No.) And geez, isn’t it great we got that tax refund so now we can use it to pay for a new car? (The down payment, anyway. Fwaaa fwaaa fwaaa.)

Does that ever happen to you? Or is it just Wacky House?

Why are we getting a tax refund in December, here in Oregon? It’s something called a “kicker.” Meaning (and this is all pretty technical, so stick with me here) that the State of Oregon gets all confused about money, socks it all away, refuses to spend any on, you know, health care and/or food and/or both for the poor; or new roads; or schools. Or whatever else cash-tax money is supposed to go for in America.

Then the State of O they’re all, WOOT! WE HAVE ALL THIS MONEY! and they send chunks of it back to us, the taxpayers. Which is nice and all, but I’d really rather they spent it while they had it.

“why’s everybody/
wanna keep it like the kaiser?/
give it away/
give it away/
give it away now”

— red hot chili peppers!

I’d rather they kept the money and fed some hungry people. Maybe given shelter to some of the homeless. Provided a few more teachers for the schools. Something.

Cuz if they had — I swear this is true — my car would still be running.