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Stupid Bastard Painter

May 4th, 2006

Whew. After reading your posts and e-mails, I am feeling okay about the Food Thing. I mean, you promise, right? You promise they won’t eat like freaks their whole lives?

Thank you, I feel way better now.

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The Sheep That Rided in the Car

May 2nd, 2006

A Short Story By Wacky Boy

Once upon a time, there was three sheep driving along in a car. Then… I forgot all the story.

Wacky Girl, to the rescue…

When all of a sudden the funny wheel rolled along…

WB: No! That’s wrong!

Then one of the wheels rolled off and then the sheep fell onto the wheel and the wheel rolled all over with the sheep on it.

THE END

More Mac & Cheese, and Make It Snappy

April 30th, 2006

When I was a kid, the neighbors next door had a grandkid who used to visit all the time. Let’s call him “Danny” because that was his name. Danny had what nowadays we would call “issues.” Yet my mother, God love her for her patience and endurance, let him come over to play sometimes, fed him snacks, and one fateful year let him go trick or treating with us.

All was well until we knocked on the door of the crotchety old lady down the street.

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Today I Want This

April 28th, 2006

“When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.”

— Jimi Hendrix, musician, singer, and songwriter (1942-1970)

Totally Hijacked My Husband’s Blog

April 27th, 2006

Look — you give me the login and password for your blog, I am going to blog there. Take that, Hockey God. Heh heh heh. No one will be able to stop me now… no one, I tell you! Heh heh heh…

Happy Spring

April 27th, 2006

I made the rounds to the Starbucks stores today and gathered up ceramic mugs, travel mugs, pitchers for steaming milk, and little tasty boxes of Vanilla After Dinner Mints and Gum for the teachers at school, for Teacher Appreciation Week. (Dedicated as the first full week in May, but we’re celebrating May 8-12 at our school.)

But you know I couldn’t be normal about it, right? As I am not. Abbey Normal, here.

I’m going to add this post to the School Fundraising Primer, so look for it there.

Enjoy your day, everyone!

WM

Tuesday Recipe Club — Sinusitis Soup

April 26th, 2006

SINUSITIS SOUP

Now, doesn’t that sound delicious? All that matters to me is that it works. It’s Hockey God’s creation. Give it a try next time you’re ailing.

1 onion, sliced thin
1 bulb garlic
2 vegetable bouillon cubes
6 cups water

Saute onion and garlic (I like whole cloves, but you can chop or press) on low until soft. Add bouillon cubes and squish. Add water and bring to boil. Can be garnished with fresh slices of jalapeno for an extra sinus kick. Wasabi would be good, too.

Reduce water and bouillon by half to thicken.

Tom Cruise, on Safari

April 25th, 2006

Go look at this blog right now.

Go Fug Yourself

The House of Tile and Sinus Infections

April 24th, 2006

Enough about the school district, school closures, recipes, how-to’s, product and book reviews (I have a backlog that I still am not reviewing anytime soon, but will someday, sorry), the remodeling, the kids who will just not stop screaming and whining (hmm — wonder who they get that from?), etc. OK, I will say one thing, cuz I know the anticipation has been killing you — THE TILE IS ALL DONE! I EVEN TOOK PICTURES TO POST! But I can’t because I am just too toasted. So deal. Also, the tile guy is so nice and now hates my neighbor more than I do. Cuz her yard stinks. And she stinks. And she was rude to him. My tile guy, who is pulling this whole long, sad, way overdue project together and ta-da!

Don’t be rude to my tile guy, damn, what the hell is wrong with you, Neighbor from Hell?

(PS — Not Naked Neighbor, I mean the one who helped extricate me from The Mess. And was this a bonding experience for us? It was for me, but not her, apparently, cuz she bitched me out up one side/down the other two days later??? Shut up, WitchyPoo! I was feeling all sentimental toward you.)

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT HER AND HER STINKY BARNYARD BACKYARD AND HER IDIOT DOG WHO FRICKIN’ NEVER STOPS YAPPING AND HER XMAS TREE WHICH IS, YES, STILL IN THE DRIVEWAY. It’s April, savvy?

This is all about me, me, me and my hideous sinus infection and the “course of steroids and antibiotics” that I am now taking to avoid pneumonia. For the second time. I just went through this in February. Yes, it’s not enough that I get a sinus infection that makes me ache and cry and feel swollen and unable to breathe. It moves right down the nasal passages into my lungs and voila! Bronchitis, then bronchial pneumonia.

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A Brief Round-up of My Keywords Reports

April 22nd, 2006

Ahem. These are but a few of the searches people have used, thus finding me, Wacky Mommy, Writer at Large:

guinea pigs and pinkeye (funny — we just had pinkeye here again…)
booty coverings
horrid gory pictures (because, like, you find sooooooo many pictures on my blog)
sean croghan email
michael corinthos is kidnapping (a General Hospital reference)
because i said so shirt
i make milk, what’s your superpower?
how long does it take to vacuum a house (don’t ask me!)
sexy mommy with big ass (thank you!)
dirty thieves
tom and katie freak baby
voluptuous housewives (thank you again!)
cybill shepherd breasts
p diddy mac and cheese

(and, last but not least…)

*how much does it really cost: remodelling / repair.* (baby, don’t ask. There is tile ON THE FLOOR in the bathroom and tile ON THE WALL in the shower and NO IT’S NOT DONE, BUT ALMOST. You know who finally fixed the messed-up framing in the shower? No, not the one framer who came out here twice or the other framer who came out here twice. That’s right — the tile guy. He finally straightened it out because there was nothing standing between him and getting the g.d. tile installed. And the TRIKE THAT SAVED MY LEGS is now parked in the yard, in all its glory.)

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