“Every burned book or house enlightens the world; every suppressed or expunged word reverberates through the earth from side to side.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson, writer and philosopher (1803-1882)
“If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.” — Nelson Mandela, activist, South African president, Nobel laureate (b. 1918)
“Everyone, in some small sacred sanctuary of the self, is nuts.” — Leo Rosten, author (1908-1997)
conversation between my ma, my son, and me:
Mom: “I’m going to the movies this weekend. We’re going to see this one about Mother Maybelle and the Carters…”
Wacky Boy: “You gonna see ‘Little Fockers’?”
Mom: “No, no we’re not. It’s about the Carter Family, you know them?”
me: “Sure he does!” (i start singing “Keep on the Sunny Side.” He shushes me. Yes, he’s nearly nine and he shushes us.)
Wacky Boy: “So why aren’t ya gonna see ‘Little Fockers’?”
Mom: “I’m just not that sophisticated, I guess.”
And the winners are…
(thanks, Zoot, for the tip!)
— wm
Qanzas asked me awhile back how the “Everything Buddhism” book is and I completely forgot to answer him. It’s great. I am just now starting the section on karma. I read it aloud to my family and they were laughing their asses off.
“Sometimes you intentionally set out to cause harm with no malice in your heart whatsoever. You might decide to whack your dog over the head with a big stick because he won’t sit when you tell him to. You may even believe you are doing the dog some good, as he will have better manners and be better behaved. However, you are intentionally harming another creature, and this cannot be construed as a positive action.” (pp. 80-81.)
Steve’s interpretation: “As I rained down blows on and around the dog’s head I thought to myself, ‘Goddamn, there has got to be a better way.'” (Kids at that point fell off their barstools.) (No, they hadn’t had anything to drink, don’t worry.)
“It is mental volition, O monks, that I call karma. Having willed, one acts through body, speech or mind.” — The Buddha (p. 81.)
And now, a word about the Cursing Mommy, aka that assclown Ian Frazier. I hate that bitch. The End. Did you happen to read “A Cursing Mommy Serenity Prayer”? Well, you know what Mr. Frazier? Plagiarism is wrong. That’s all I have to say. Now stop reading my blog and find your own goddamn material somewhere else. Or split down your paychecks with me. Either way is fine, but buddy, you need to not continue down the road to ruin. Thief. Dirty hippie.
Now on to more important matters: “Waiting for Normal,” by Leslie Connor. My kid and I love this book and you should read it. Even if you’re a grown-up who doesn’t have kids, or a gothy teenager who only reads those books involving blood, piercings and wrecked cars, you should still read it. Especially if you’re that teenager you should read it.
“The Man Who Loved Books Too Much” is about a dirty thief who steals books using other people’s credit cards and by writing bad checks. As near as I can tell, he does not actually read any books. This makes him something like two of my ex’s who liked the way the books looked “fancy” on the shelf but never actually “opened one up.” People like that need to just stop their thievin’ and fakin’, sit down and read a damn library book. That they’ve checked out on their own card. After they’ve paid their cussing fines. Then they need to return the book, on time, once they’re done.
The End.
Love,
Wacky Mommy
Happy holidays, everyone. See you in 2011, Year of the Rabbit. Thanks for a great 2010.
xo
wm
and now, from Lakeitha, Paula Deen and the City of St. Louis, the best damn cake:
GOOEY BUTTER CAKE
Servings: 6 to 8 servings
Prep Time: 30 min
Cook Time: 40 min
Difficulty: Easy
Ingredients
Cake:
1 18 1/4-ounce package yellow cake mix
1 egg
8 tablespoons butter, melted
Filling:
1 8-ounce package cream cheese, softened
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
8 tablespoons butter, melted
1 16-ounce box powdered sugar
Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Combine the cake mix, egg, and butter and mix well with an electric mixer. Pat the mixture into the bottom of a lightly greased 13 by 9-inch baking pan. Prepare Filling
In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese until smooth. Add the eggs, vanilla, and butter and beat together.
Next, add the powdered sugar and mix well. Spread over cake batter and bake for 40 to 50 minutes. Make sure not to overbake as the center should be a little gooey.
Bon appetit!
wm
“‘You are sad,’ the Knight said in an anxious tone: ‘Let me sing you a song to comfort you.’
‘Is it very long?’ Alice asked, for she had heard a good deal of poetry that day.
‘It’s long,’ said the Knight, ‘but very, very beautiful. Everybody that hears me sing it — either it brings the tears into their eyes, or else — ‘
‘Or else what?’ said Alice, for the Knight had made a sudden pause.
‘Or else it doesn’t, you know.'”
— Lewis Carroll
just kidding. it’s re-run day, i’m late for work!
“Sisters” and… how can I resist…
, Barnes and Noble or Powell's Books.
Also available for Kindle
.
