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To Diaper or Not to Diaper

August 2nd, 2005

You heard of “elimination communication?” It’s raising babies without diapers, aka “nappies” in the U.K.

Wacky Mommy is in favor of diapering. Bring on the Huggies…

Sweet jeebus, help us all. Not all progress is bad. More later…

WM

Quote of the day:

from our own Ms. Lauren Bacall:

“When you talk about a great actor, you’re not talking about Tom Cruise.”

Look, just do not fuck with a woman who’s been through post-partum depression! Wacky Mommy, for instance. Were you aware that Brooke Shields’ father died THREE WEEKS BEFORE SHE GAVE BIRTH? Of course she was depressed, who the hell wouldn’t be? My dad died a million years ago, and I still was sobbing over him after the babies came. “And they look just *like him* and he’ll never *see them*!” etc.

And since she is Brooke Shields, and gorgeous and rich and all, I bet she doesn’t have any Wacky Girlfriends to call at three a.m. (or 4 p.m.) wailing, “There’s something *wrong* with me!” They are so comforting and know just what to say. You cannot hire someone for that, not really. Well, maybe my yummy hippie doula, V, but Brooke Shields didn’t call me to get her number, so that was that.

During my pregnancies and post-partum, my best Wacky Girlfriend, N, used to call me and tell me not to read the paper or turn on the news when something Horrible Had Happened Again aka child abuse or school shootings. I appreciated this.

Another told me (at 4 p.m.), “You gotta break the routine. Give that baby a bath now instead of tonight. Go for a walk. Go get a Frappacino. Whatever it takes. I couldn’t stop crying, either, after I had my baby,” etc.

Dear sweet jeebus, please drop something heavy on Tom Cruise’s head today. And knock the stars out of Katie Holmes’s eyes.

In jeebus’ name i pray,

WM

2 Comments

  1. zipdodah says

    I vote for Tom Cruise to push a 10 lb. baby through his crotch – 10 to 1 he’d be wailing for a valium-drip instead of his Book of Scientology.
    And as for Katie “deer in the headlights” Holmes……….Jeebus help her…

    August 7th, 2005 | #

  2. Wacky Mommy says

    Amen! Then have a nurse visit and ask, “Have we had a bowel movement yet?” and shove some Ducolax down his throat. Then fix him up with some Vicodin for the pain from the stitches. I’m expecting a tell-all memoir from Katie Holmes in about 15 years…

    August 8th, 2005 | #

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