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The Name Game

January 29th, 2006

Let’s say you want to name your boy baby something like… Monkey. (I love monkeys.) And your neighbor is all, “The kids will be mean! They will play the Name Game and say ‘Monkey-monkey bo-bunky, banana-fana fo-funky mo mi my mo Krunky, Monkey!’ Wouldn’t that be horrible?” And you’re thinking, “Cool song.” And she proceeds to play a game AT THE BABY SHOWER SHE THROWS FOR YOU where “Everyone is supposed to come up with a good” (accent on “good,” said in loud, cheerful voice) “name for Wacky Baby.”

Would you be insulted? Well, I was eight months pregnant at the time and wasn’t sweating too much besides C-Section Number 2, coming up, so I didn’t say anything. Except “No” to Wacky Sister when she suggested “Cornelius.” She’s wrong, Con is a terrible nickname for a little boy living in a “transitional” (ie — poverty-struck) North Portland neighborhood. And, hello, monkey-guy from “Planet of the Apes.”

Now we find ourselves in an interesting predicament. Wacky Cousin is pregnant with a little Wacky Cousin. Wacky Cousin’s name is…

…I can’t tell you, she’d kick my ass. This is a sorta anonymous blog, in case you’ve forgotten. Also, she’s the only person I’ve ever met in life with this name, so she knows, and I know, that names mean a lot. And don’t be naming your baby some name that 18 other kids are named. (Like Wacky Mommy did.) But also you maybe don’t want to name your Little Baby Love a one-of-a-kind name that will have her giving the name “Tiffany” at Starbucks so her own, perfect, cool, hip, one-of-its-very-own-kind name doesn’t get called. (This is what my Wacky Cousin does.)

Cuz people stare.

So far I’ve come up with:



(Both of those are questionable, hello, I know this already.)

Any other favorites out there?


  1. zipdodah says

    Amanda Rae

    Jude (Sounds too much like Dude?)

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  2. Wacky Mommy says

    I’m fond of the name Mary Margaret. Peg for a nickname. Peg is a great nickname.

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  3. zipdodah says

    One more…….
    Emma Jean
    I like names that you can’t make nicknames out of! Maybe because I had many nicknames growing up! Nannygoat Nana banana Nutnut Na na na na na NA! Nanners …the list is infinite… can you guess what my REAL name is? :-)

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  4. Wacky Mommy says


    January 30th, 2006 | #

  5. HH says

    I agree Pearl is a great name. I like girl names that go along in that same flavor (these are the coolest girl names): Opal and Ruby. Also not in the same flavor, but equally cool: Zora. Quinn is a GREAT not-heard-enough-name for either a boy or a girl (I especially like it for a girl). Other great boy names (I like the timeless names, can you tell?) are Henry (preferably with a real, frog-in-the-pocket kind of middle name like Jack) and Gregory (NOT Greg). And I think George (just George, NEVER Georgy [requires firm, self-controlled parent])is a nice, friendly boy name. Harley is one more modern name that I do like as well for a girl or a boy, but can be tricky (people either love it or hate it, and as my husband said when we considered it for if we had a boy,”Do you think we’re cool enough?”– whatever). So, there ya go, my all-time faves.

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  6. wacky cousin says

    See, I always thought that I would name my daughter Pearl, if a daughter I was to have. But then, my mother, who is mostly great, but sometimes, not so much, says “Pearl? That’s awful!” and there went that. I can’t name a child something that my mom won’t call her. Mom says Beth or Luke. I say Hell No.

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  7. Wacky Mommy says

    Elizabeth is a lovely name. Or Elisabeth. But Luke makes me think Luka. Sure, perfect, then you can sing that “My name is Luka/I live on the 2nd floor” song and traumatize the kid. (This is HH’s fault! She e’ed me the lyrics the other day and now they are stuck in my head.) I love the name Pearl cuz we had a neighbor, Miss Pearl, who was the coolest ever. But everybody’s all hoity-toity about country names. Especially Wacky Grandmas. Wacky Girl had one name (a country name, okay?) when we started out, but her wacky grandma called her by another name. (Wacky Cousin knows this whole story already, sorry WC.) Then that’s the name WG decided to go by. They have been in cahoots since the beginning. May this not happen with you, WC. How about all my favorite General Hospital names? Yes, yes, yes: Jason Morgan, Elizabeth (Lizzie), Laura, Luke — no, scratch those two — Carly, Sonny, Brenda, Jax, Robin… OK I’ll shut up now.

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  8. HH says

    Yes! Liz. Strong & full of personality, but simple. As well as Eva. Elizabeth lovely- also Bethany: equally lovely but a bit more unique perhaps? and not so pretentious in that way of “I could be a nickname real easy but I’m not because my parents won’t allow it to be kind of way.” Refer to Gregory and George. Some yoga & very intensive therapy may be in order for grandma’s aversion to Pearl. This name will serve one well for this generation. Mark my words. I completely agree with your Hell No for Beth or Luke, O Wacky Cousin. ixne on those nameses. Or is that Namaste? Now there’s a name for you. Just kidding.

    January 30th, 2006 | #

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