The Random Pooper, All Dressed Up For Halloween
My sister decides she’s going to get a dog. I think, Good! Big dog! Big dogs good!
She says, No big dog, medium dog.
I think, Eh, medium dog OK. Maybe a 40- or 50-pounder?
She is pleased as punch with 16-pound squirrel killer, The Ratter, aka Random Pooper because, you know. These are the reasons Random Pooper has been 86ed from our house, from time to time: Random pooping, licking her own ass and then my kids’ faces, licking the cats’ asses (repeat), kicking the cats’ asses, OH! Litter boxes! MORE cat ass! Good grazing.
Me: Fwaaa fwaaa fwaaa fwaaa fwaaa fwaaa fwaaa fwaaa fwaaa fwaaa fwaaa fwaaa fwaaa fwaaa fwaaa fwaaa fwaaa fwaaa fwaaa fwaaa fwaaa fwaaa fwaaa fwaaa.
My sister: I’m sorry!
Me: Why? Did you poop on the floor?
Then the Random Pooper shows up at my door, dressed up as a dinosaur, and how can I refuse her? (Notice she stays on her leash, so she won’t commit any crimes while she’s here.)
“I won’t fuck with the cats. Or eat their poop. I promise.”
“AIIIIIIIII AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII I CAN’T SEE! HELP ME!”
“Are the cats here?”
My mom: “I tried to find one in Wacky Dog’s size — they didn’t have one!”
Me: “That was sweet, Mom.”
Wacky Dog: Thank you, Jesus.
ohmigoodness….I love Dino dog.
Wacky dog does look a bit disappointed…
September 26th, 2006 | #
After repeated attacks by larger, stronger, meaner, hungrier dogs, Random Pooper fights back with…an ADORABLE DINO COSTUME?! Like a stuffed animal? A play thing?
If she were MY dog, I’d take a bunch of beer cozies and make her one of those safe suits they use for training guard dogs.
But this…THIS is like…what could be worse? A steak costume?
September 26th, 2006 | #
She is plant-eating stegosaurus.
September 26th, 2006 | #
I so love that costume! Wacky Dog should be so lucky! He’d love it, too!
September 29th, 2006 | #
Yeah, first I thought the look on Wacky Dog’s face was “relieved.” Now I realize it is “jealous.”
September 29th, 2006 | #
No I think the look on Wacky Dog’s face is…scared! As in, what is that thing???? and, They won’t do that to me if I don’t randomly poop, right???
September 30th, 2006 | #