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Thursday Thirteen Ed. #77

January 24th, 2007

For my Thursday Thirteen (helloooooooooo everyone!) Wacky Mommy, Advisor to the Would-Be Stars presents:

THIRTEEN REASONS YOU SHOULD NOT GO ON “AMERICAN IDOL” (and I’m not joking here, people):

13. Most of you are unable to keep your breasts inside your bedazzled halter tops.

12. You don’t know how to pick songs to save your ass.

11. Your asses (speaking of) are not shakin’ nearly as well as that girl’s in the opening credits of “Las Vegas.” That is some ass-shaking, there.

10. Simon is a jerk. Paula is drunk. Randy is unpredictable. Ryan doesn’t give enough hugs.

9. Your kids need you at home. (Did you catch the guy who missed THE BIRTH OF HIS BABY GIRL because he was waiting to audition? AND HIS WIFE SEEMED TO BE OK WITH THIS. Good thing for him the judges said “yay.”)

8. Your wardrobe needs to consist of something a little more, I don’t know, telegenic? Khaki: nope. Dirty T-shirt: nopey-nope. Jeans that don’t really fit: triple-nope.

7. They won’t let you bring your dog to howl back-up. And I know you won’t leave home without him.

6. There are other ways to become a star.

5. You need to give more attention to your blog.

4. And the dog.

3. Really, do you need to break your parents’ hearts? No, I did not think so.

2. Your acting is much better than your singing.

1. You’re just not that damn good.


  1. ancsweetnsassygal says

    This is a great list!! I will take your advice and keep my breasts and butt in my clothes at home. Plus, I think I’m too told. Don’t you have to be…what…17?..to be on this show?

    My TT is up too on my fav tv shows.

    January 24th, 2007 | #

  2. Missy says

    I’m amazed at the folks that put themselves through what could possibly (and most likely) be a humiliating experience. Fascinating.

    January 24th, 2007 | #

  3. Laughing Muse says

    On the one hand, yes – it’s humiliating.

    On the other hand, having a career as a performer means either developing a thick skin or spending LOTS of time in therapy.

    On the third hand (playing at being a Hindu deity today), if you want a career in the performing arts, there are better ways to achieve it. Both the acting and music professions offer their share of humiliations…but so does any career path. It’s up to the individual to determine up with how much they will put.

    January 24th, 2007 | #

  4. Wacky Mommy says

    Three hands! Ha ha ho! Now that would impress the judges — all of a sudden you’re gesturing, and you whip out the third hand… “…Blame it on the rain that was falling, falling/Blame it on the stars that did shine at night…”

    January 24th, 2007 | #

  5. Rose says

    LMAO. You need to give more attention to your blog. Omg ROFL lol Great post!

    January 24th, 2007 | #

  6. Michelle says

    This is Truth. Who would subject themselves to this?

    January 24th, 2007 | #

  7. Danger says

    OMG ROFL!! Thanks for the laugh!! This was great!! I don’t watch it, but I cannot believe that “his wife was okay with it.” What a moron. But then on the flipside, there’s always William Hung. I CANNOT BELIEVE HE HAD A RECORD DEAL! ACK!!

    Happy T13ing!!

    January 25th, 2007 | #

  8. Alexis says

    These are hilarious!!! And so true!

    I’m up at http://ajpr2.blogspot.com/

    January 25th, 2007 | #

  9. DKRaymer says

    Great list! I am constantly amazed at how many people show up at these auditions who have absolutely NO business being there! And what’s with their weird parents? Wait, that’s another list altogether. Thanks for visiting my blog, and drop in again any time you’re in the neighborhood!

    January 25th, 2007 | #

  10. Raggedy says

    I don’t watch tele but I sure have heard a lot of people talk about this show. Good list. Have a wonderful Thursday. My tt is posted

    January 25th, 2007 | #

  11. Amy Jo says

    ROFLOL, I love the list. Some of those people are just flat out scary (like the Darwin chick and her mother!! YIKES!)

    January 25th, 2007 | #

  12. annie says

    Great list, I have to admit I am enjoying AI, although I do feel sorry for the ones that are more mentally challenged than just show offs.

    January 25th, 2007 | #

  13. Frances says

    I love 1 & 5.
    How did you think of this? LOL
    Thanks for stopping in

    January 25th, 2007 | #

  14. Zipdodah says

    Great list.
    And to think…some of these people are (gasp!) “staged” to give higher ratings. Say it ain’t so Simon!
    How about a new show…”American Dog Howl”

    January 25th, 2007 | #

  15. Wacky Mommy says


    January 25th, 2007 | #

  16. Eric says

    This was a highlight of my day. And, no, I don’t watch, nor do I plan to watch, American Idol anytime soon.

    January 25th, 2007 | #

  17. Barb says

    To ancsweetsassygal, a 16 yr old boy won today.

    I think, anyone who wants to not be embarrassed, needs to stay off. Simon is terrible, smart-mouthed, and hateful! To tell a young guy, who did have a great voice (sort of girly, like Vince Gill), that his singing should be in a dress and stilleto shoes, was very hateful. I thought he and Paula were going to have a fight over that!

    Check out my TT

    January 25th, 2007 | #

  18. Wacky Mommy says


    I don’t appreciate his hatefulness either. There’s no need for it. It’s easy enough to just tell someone, “Sorry, you’re not for us” and leave it at that.

    January 25th, 2007 | #

  19. Jennfactor says

    Outstanding list of things that needed to be said.
    Especially the sage advice about the bedazzled halter tops.
    Thanks for visiting my TT!

    January 25th, 2007 | #

  20. Mrs. Flinger says

    My personal favorite post of yours. :-) And a really great Thursday Thirteen idea!

    January 26th, 2007 | #

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