Thirteeners! It’s still Thursday, if my calendar is right. I am not too late to post. I am short on time, however, as my husband just left for a baseball game with his buddy, leaving me in charge of bedtime for two small children.

It’s a shocker, really, having to put my own kids to bed. But since I’ve started back to work (it feels so weird to type that), he’s been totally responsible for getting them out the door in the morning. So it’s only fair.

Here ya go: 13 Things I’d Blog About Right Now if I Could Grab a Minute (or Ten). (And no links, cuz no time. Sorry.)

1) My love for General Hospital and Land of the Lost and their weird correlation in my head.

2) A treatise on the magic of duct tape.

3) Teen Parenthood: Why It’s a Great Idea, as written by frazzled 42-year-old housewife. Oops, working outside of the home wife.

4) My new schedule and why it rocks! (Except for mid-afternoon, when I can barely keep my eyes open cuz I get up so early now. And once we get home, when I survey the chaos around me. Don’t forget the immortal words of Erma Bombeck: It takes wet laundry three days to mold.) How in spite of all this… I love working. I love earning my own money. I love getting a break. I love being around people who don’t chant SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS spongebob square pants SPONGE BOB! SQUARE PANTS! all. frickin’. day. long.

5) Dress codes. My office has one and the kids’ school does not. Q&A with myself.

6) Potatoes! Corn! Hollyhocks! And all the wonders of my garden and yard. A photo essay.

7) How I bit my tongue and didn’t scream, “TAKE HER BACK TO THE POUND! QUICK! NOW!!!! BEFORE YOU GET MORE ATTACHED TO HER!” when my co-worker described her sweet lil black Lab pup. Aren’t Labs the best? So well-behaved! Except for when she tore out her stitches after surgery. And destroyed the flower bed. And how she keeps them up all night, because she’s lonely. I just showed her a picture of Wacky Dog and smiled.

8) My husband’s beloved Buffalo Sabres. Will they bite the dust in the series?

9) My intrigue with the book “The Feminine Mistake,” by Leslie Bennetts. Can I blog about it without stoking the fires of the Mommy Wars? Yes, I believe I can.

10) Lice. Are we shut of them for good, pray tell?

11) Kids. Why I’m Thrilled I Have Two and Not More. Would include a sidebar: Must every conversation include one of the following: Butts, underwear (their own and other people’s), people’s butts being set on fire, people who can set other people’s butts on fire, poop, pee, farting, booties, how they are Lords of the Buttfire? (I just read that paragraph aloud to them and they literally crashed onto the floor laughing.)

12) Summer plans. Including a discussion of why I won’t be able to hang out laundry because neighbor’s cherry tree is insane out of control. Includes a brief re-cap of the discussion I had with my tree guy, who advised that we move rather than mess with this tree. Sidebar: Will we ever move? An update.

13) My inability to plan ahead.

Happy Thursday, everyone.

WM